Afterlife: Reincarnation

15

June 2

LANE

I huffed in annoyance, rolling onto my back. The thin, unsupportive threads of the mattress below me had long ago stopped being a nuisance. I was used to it now. And yet, I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't seem to relax, and sure as hell couldn't seem to turn my mind off.

I wasn't even sure the time, but I knew it was late. Or early, depending on how you wanted to look at it. I had gone to bed long ago, feigning tired even though my eyes were still wide and alert. I wasn't tired. I just wanted some time alone with my thoughts.

Today had been a good day, overall. It had been a calm day around the camp, with several interesting cases and nothing tragic. I had yet to see anything that tore at my heart, or so clearly displayed the uprising and hostility the region was known for. I knew it would come, and it wasn't a welcome thought. I had only been here a week. It was only a matter of time.

I had called Harry that evening, much too excited about the images I had taken so far to wait any longer to share them. And the first person I thought of when I considered showing someone back home my work here, was Harry. And of course, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to hear his voice, and feel close to him. Surprising him with the call had been fun, his obvious shock that I was calling mid day rather than a prearranged time making it even more fun for me. He had seemed genuinely impressed with the photos I had sent him, apart from his disgust at the rather graphic nature of the one. I had known that would be his reaction, and had to admit that was one of the reasons I included it.

I was admittedly thrown by his comment, about being in 'full working order' when I returned. I knew it had caught him just as off guard when he realized his statement, a long pause following before he tried to quickly recover by changing the subject. We had eased into relax conversation again before he was called back to work, but his comment hadn't left my mind all day.

It slid off his lips so easily, it meant one of two things. Either, he was used to make sexual remarks, spewing them so readily at women that it was just a knee jerk reaction to him now, or, it had been something he had been thinking about with me for a while.

The former, admittedly, wasn't a concept I welcomed. I hated the thought of him thinking that way about other girls, even though I knew technically we weren't together. And yes, I realized he had a life before me. An afterlife, as he called it. A state of limbo where he hadn't quite lived, but was still breathing. He had admitted taking solace in the arms and bodies of women to distract him from his reality. At the time, I understood it, and didn't condemn him for his choice. And I still didn't. That was the past. But now, the thought of him wanting to be with anyone else caused a pain in my chest, and a clench in my abdomen.

The latter, the idea that he had been thinking of being with me that way, possibly at my homecoming, was nerve wracking and exciting. I'd be a damn liar if I didn't admit the same thoughts had crossed my mind. I only had a small, short lived lesson on the skills of his mouth and hands, but it had been more that enlightening. And had left me longing for him in a way I had never craved another person before.

Of course, in general, that could be said about Harry in general. I had never desired anyone the way I did him. And not even just in a sexual way. I wanted to be around him, I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, know him. Even when he was a sullen, petulant, irritable shit, I still wanted to be with him. His secretive nature had caught my interest; but he had kept it.

I let my mind slide over the thought of my return home. Would be come back to New York to see me? Maybe even surprise me at the airport? Our parting was a mixture of embraces, tongues and longing. Would our reunion be anything similar?

I guess that all rested on how we progressed in my absence. So far, we had made much more headway with each other thousands of miles apart than we had when we were actually side by side. I couldn't quite figure out what had caused this shift, but it was a welcome one. He was more open, honest, and forthcoming with me now. And I wasn't quite as intimidated by him as I was when I was home. I could flirt with him, as much as my meager ability allowed. And I loved when he reacted to me.

I pulled my lip between my teeth as I considered our state when I returned home. Would he want to sleep with me, as he had let slip over the phone? Or was that just a casual remark, not meant as anything to be taken seriously? I wanted to be with him, an idea that surprised me. I wasn't a virgin by any means, but I wasn't overly experienced either. But the thought of Harrys hands exploring my skin, his mouth following their lead, the feeling of his weight pressing me into the mattress caused my thighs to pull together and my breathing to hitch.

I linked my fingers over my stomach, my eyes still wide and alert. I knew I should sleep, but I just couldn't seem to turn my mind off. For some reason, for the first time since arriving here, I was homesick. Very, very much so. And not for the comforts of my parents arms, or the warmth of my bed at Mia's. But for Harry.

I sighed, turning my head to the iPad on my bedside stand. I had brought one to my room from comm so that I could review more of the images I had taken lately, and send a few to my parents. I had done that hours ago, before turning off my small oil lamp and settling in for the next countless hours of restlessness.

Reaching out, I pulled the device towards me, turning it back on. If I couldn't sleep, I may as well check email, maybe send a few, and possible read online. I had recently, before leaving home, come across the wonder that was Wattpad. An online writers forum with so many stories of all varying genres, I knew it would take me years and I would still not be able to read them all. As with most online, open communities, there were the shit stories, the ones that had no plot line or development, where the main premise just seemed to be boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, the end. But I had come across a few good ones, and laid in my bed many a time losing myself in the lives of fictional characters.

Opening my email, I was glad to find one from my parents. Probably in response to the images I had sent them earlier.

Opening the message, I leaned back against my flat pillow to read.

From: J & C Jennings

To: Lane

Date: June 1

Subject: re: pix

Hi honey!

Its so good to hear from you! We miss you so much.

Your photos are amazing, Lane. I am in awe of what you are doing over there. Your father was a little unnerved by the birthing photo, but he admits its incredible. That little girl is so adorable. I cant wait for you to have one just like her.

I rolled my eyes. I was only in my early twenties and my mother was already waiting for me to pop out grandbabies. Good lord.

You haven't missed too much back home. Your aunt Linda is in the hospital, again. She's fine, but seems to have broken her toe. Poor thing.

OH! We got a letter from Adam yesterday. He says he's well, and currently in the south. He didn't say exactly where, but then, I suppose he never does. He seems a little better, I think. I know its hard to tell from a letter, but he seemed so.

I frowned. My mother always said that whenever Adam took the time to pay them any mind. He only sent letters once in a blue moon, but when he did they made my mothers day. And she always said he 'seemed better'. I knew it was just her way of trying to be positive, her way of convincing herself that one day he would come home. His disappearance and discard of them hurt her more than it did any of the rest of us. I was a daddy's girl, but he was always much closer to mom.

Email more, honey. And call us! We would love to hear your voice!

Miss you so much!

Love

Mom & Dad

PS. how is that nice young man we met at your graduation? Harry? He was lovely.

I sighed, smirking at the screen. Trust my mother to fall for Harrys charms even more quickly than I had.

I considered emailing him, just to check in and to fill the time until my eyes felt tired, but I decided to wait. Opening the browser, I searched Wattpad, choosing a recommended story, and losing myself in the fictional characters.