The crushing guilt

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What is wrong with me???

    Just then, Luffy peered into the hall. He must have seen me retreat and felt the need to investigate.

   "What's wrong, M'?"

   "N-nothing! I just... erm..." I looked down, not wanting to look him in the eye.

   "If you don't wanna talk about it — I don't mind." He said nonchalantly. "But you should really come hang out with us! I was gonna try and find Robin too!" He continued, striding up to me and wrapping me up in a big hug.

   I'm such an ass. I have the most amazing guy in the world and I'm blushing at a different guy. It's not like I wanted to react like that. It just kept happening, no matter if I wanted it to or not. I wrapped my arms around Luffy and sighed into his chest. I felt so guilty but somehow, being in his arms made me feel better. Calmer. Happier.

   He pulled away from me and kissed me on the nose, making me blush. "You wanna go find Robin together?" He said, a big goofy grin on his face.

   "She's actually right in the girls room."

   "Oh, well that makes it easy!" He said, grabbing my hand and walking us toward the girl's room.

   I couldn't help but let myself get swept away in the feeling of Luffy holding my hand. Something so simple held such a high value to me. When I first arrived, Luffy never held my hand, even as he dragged me all over the ship. Instead, he would pull me around by the wrist. The first time he ever held my hand, it was like someone had lit a firecracker in between us — both of us jumping back in shock from our bodies' violent reactions to that kind of touch. Even now, it felt like my skin was trying to jump off my own hand. The tingly sensation moved all the way up my arm, and it was pure bliss.

Maybe all I have to do is focus on Luffy and how he makes me feel. Then, maybe I could quell this crush and send it to the shadows, where it belongs. That's what I need to do. Luffy deserves that much, at least. The guilt I had for being so reactive to Law was crushing me. Ironically enough, the crush was crushing me. Hm. Dumb irony.

We arrived at the room and snatched Robin so that she could join us outside. On the walk back, I watched Luffy carefully, wondering why he hadn't asked why I kept blushing so much. Maybe I'm not blushing as much as I think I am. Man, that would be nice.

When we got out to the group, Usopp was doing some kind of skit with Franky. My plan was to just sit right next to Luffy. Easy. But, much to my dismay, Luffy B-lined it right over to Law, throwing his arm around him as Law understandably recoiled from him. I giggled as he rubbed his cheek against Law's, chuckling to himself. I love that man.

I sat next to Bepo as Luffy harassed poor Law and smiled at him. Bepo smiled back and waved at me. So cute.

 So cute

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