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|20| Fix your posture.

⭐️🩰Estella🩰⭐️

It's been a week since Grey kissed me. Coach text to say he's gotten caught up and is staying for another few days. He was gone for exactly 12 days. Now he's back, and it's currently 4am on Monday.

It's been bad around the house, though. Sure, we have good moments and have some fun, but it's not the same. I'm awkward as shit with Grey around,  and I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm in the same room as him. In the car is worse, I usually just listen to the music or other conversations whilst looking out the window.

I didn't think Grey saying 'That shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake. Don't follow me.' would hurt so fucking much.

I think it's also the fact that he was being so sweet to me all week. I'm such an idiot for caving in and being upset about it. It's obvious he wouldn't like me. Me compared to the girls he hooks up with is jack shit.

I think it just hurts more because one minute he says I'm beautiful and need to realise it then he's hooking up with a girl who is way more prettier than me on the same day he kissed me. It's all weird.

We went on a hike one day and ended up by a lake that was close to the library. That day, I could've sworn the boys were going to push Grey into the lake. The tension was thick as fuck. So I lead them all to the library because in there they would have to be quiet and it worked. We went to the café then walked around looking at books.

I saved him from being pushed into a lake then later that night I heard not so quiet moans and him saying to whichever girl it was to be quiet.

Red. Fucking. Flag. I don't get why I used to like him or why I started to again.

I know the boys told him no more girls, and he had to do all the chores for a week. I also know they told him to apologise and sort it all out with me. But every night, I hear the same shit.

He always comes to take my laundry, but I won't let him because I'm stubborn and don't want him to do it. So now I have a weeks worth of clothes in my room, and since he's not doing the chores anymore, I get to do it later. Which I'll do. After classes.

I throw some clothes on for dance, just some sweatpants and a hoodie, which is what I've been living in recently, then I grab my bag and throw some extra clothes in for after I'm all sweaty.

I run downstairs and hope to leave early knowing everyone is planning to go in the car for some breakfast out somewhere.

They're all worried that I'm going to stop hanging out with them all again. Which, I'm going to admit, it is probably true, and I don't want to, but I'm just going to be exhausted all the time. I'm not going to lie, though, in the last two weeks, I've spent more time with them than I used to in a month. Sure,  I used to do stuff with them, but never a lot because I'd be so tired and drained, so it was mostly running for food or some shopping here and there.

Just as I step off the last step, I hear some quiet but not so quiet shouting coming from the kitchen.

Moving to listen in, I hear its Benji and Nathan shouting at Grey. And they are angry. Really. Angry.

"I'm not arguing anymore. We told you a fucking week to do it, Grey, not any longer. Not even a day longer. If you don't do it today, say goodbye to your fucking room," Benji seethes.

"You can't kick me out, my mom payed for this place as much as your dad did. And I'm not saying sorry. I have nothing to say and shes not even making effort either. So I'm done arguing with you both."

"Why would she make an effort when you're the one who did the shit to get her feeling shit about herself," Nathan fumes.

"She always felt bad about herself. You've seen it as much as I have. It's not my fault. She shouldn't have thought I'd like her like that. A kiss is a kiss. She's being pathetic," he spits out.