Our Realization. // BL

- THE TIRED MORNING -

ELIJAH'S POV
I was with Lucas. I was.. pleasuring him.. I said something but I forgot. I miss his strawberry-cherry flavored lips. I passed out after what I said, and now I'm cuddling with him, I'm so tired but I wanna go out with him today.

"Elijah?.. are you awake?"
Asked Lucas. His soft and gentle voice is like music to my ears.. soft music. I nod, answering him. He starts stroking my hair and kisses my forehead. He's so cute.

"Lucas.. can we just.. stay in bed? I'm really tired.."
I asked, the sound of my voice making it obvious. I mean I just woke up so ofc it's gonna sound like I'm some monster but.. I guess.

Lucas nods, answering my question with a gentle like smile. He's like and angel sent from heaven. Soft and perfect lips.. soft and brown hair.. perfect skin.. a perfect face.. perfect everything. I need Lucas to know how much I love him. I don't want him to be thinking that I don't love him or that I don't care about him. He's the only person I care about.. including my sister ofc.

"Hey Elijah?.."
He says softly.

"Hm?"
I hum. He seems hesitant but i don't care if it's a bad thing. I wait for him to say something, he hugs me like there's no tomorrow. He then opens his mouth.

"I.. I love you so much.. I wanna marry you.. I wanna be your husband some day.. the cursing habit of yours is getting onto me.. but.. still. I love you.. until never."

He says, with so much love, his cheeks pink. His soft voice, his obvious embarrassed face making me smile.

"Lucas. I love you too. I wanna marry you too but we're only 17, we're almost 18 though."

I say, I kiss his forehead and he gives me a peck on my lips, not being able to taste that strawberry-cherry chapstick, so sweet and lovely. I let Lucas cuddle against my chest, I let him rest like he should always do.

"Elijah?.."

"Yes luc?"

He seemed hesitant again, but I still didn't mind, he sits up and holds my face, his hands on my cheeks, holding my face like a bowl of warm soup at winter season.

He starts showering my face in kisses, like I'm a non resistible pet. He then starts to kiss more down.. I'm not complaining but this is unusual of him. I start kissing him passionately, tasting my favorite chapstick of his.

After that slight make out session, he starts cuddling with me again, he seems breathless from the kissing, was I too hard on him?.. you know what.. I'll.. I'll make it up to him.. for not doing anything when Lucas did everything for me..

Elijah..

damn it Lucas.. I wanna apologize.

Elijah!..

I don't wanna hurt Lucas-

ELIJAH!

shit..

"Oh- yes?.. sorry.."
Damn.. was I thinking too much?.. was I overthinking? I know Lucas wouldn't wanna leave me so.. why am I worried? He wouldn't do that to me.. right?

"Elijah.. are you okay?.. you seemed worried."
Lucas asks. He has a worried tone, he seems too worried.. is he worried for me? Me?.. why me?

"I'm okay.. uhm.. question."
I say, he nods and waits for my question, he holds my hands. It's so comforting whenever he holds my hands. Like an angel.

"Would you.. uh.. would you ever.. leave me for.. a better partner?"
Shit.. did I say too much?.. I don't want him to think he isn't good enough.. or something like that..

"What? Why? Ofc not, I loved you since. I'll always love you, unless you cheat or something but.. I love you. I wouldn't change or replace you. You're the person I wanna be with everyday, you're perfect just the way you are."

Shit.. I can't say anything.. he said so much and I'm just speaking dots.. like crickets.. like the quiet night.. uncomfortable. He starts looking  at my lips.. that's.. unusual of him tbh.. he just usually looks at my eyes.. but.. I feel.. damn.. I think I'm getting hard.. it hurts.. we're naked so.. I should watch myself.. control it Elijah. Control it.

"Thank you luc.. sorry- i don't know what else to say.. I'm not very good with my words.."

I say, I mean, I'm not wrong. Most people would agree, right? It's just one lazy and tired morning rn.. there's barely anything to do and.. damn I can't stop thinking about it.. I.. I can't.. control myself.. maybe a nice shower would help.. right?..

"Hey Elijah, wanna shower with me?"

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Bienvenidos, I'm NAWT on the best state rn with my house and my parents but I'll try to write more and listen to bam yang gang by Bibi (boycott ofc)