Drabbles || GiyuShino

midnight maladies

--🦋--

Shinobu's Butterfly Mansion, bathed in moonlight, stood silent and eerie. The air smelled of medicinal herbs and secrets. Giyu Tomioka had been summoned for his routine checkup. He shuffled through the corridors, his sword at the ready—because, well, you never knew when a demon might pop out of a medicine cabinet.

Shinobu Kocho awaited him in her office. She sat behind a desk piled high with paperwork and butterfly-shaped paperclips. Her eyes glinted like twin daggers.

"Ah, Tomioka-san," she said, her voice as sweet as a poisoned apple. "Welcome. Sit."

Giyu perched on the edge of a chair, his expression as stoic as ever. "What's the diagnosis this time?"

Shinobu leaned forward, her butterfly-patterned mask inches from his face. "You suffer from chronic broodiness," she declared. "Also, your sword technique lacks flair. You need more twirls and jazz hands."

Giyu blinked. "Jazz hands?"

"Yes." Shinobu demonstrated, her fingers fluttering like confused butterflies. "See? Now try it with your sword."

Giyu sighed. "I'm here for a medical checkup, not a Broadway audition."

Ignoring him, Shinobu pulled out a stethoscope. "Breathe," she ordered.

Giyu obliged. She listened intently, her eyes narrowing. "Your heartbeat is too steady," she said. "You need more drama. Maybe a heart murmur? Or heartbreak? Have you tried unrequited love?"

Giyu's face reddened. "I—"

"—And your diet," Shinobu interrupted. "Too much water. You're practically drowning. Try some demon blood. It's all the rage."

"I don't—"

"—And your hair," Shinobu continued, "it's too well-behaved. Have you considered a mohawk? Or maybe a topknot with tiny butterfly pins?"

Giyu massaged his temples. "I just want my checkup."

Shinobu leaned closer, her breath minty fresh. "And your fashion sense," she whispered. "So last century. How about a neon kimono? Or a sequined hakama?"

Giyu's patience snapped. "Kocho, I—"

"—And your love life," Shinobu said, her eyes twinkling. "Any prospects? Perhaps a demoness with a penchant for brooding swordsmen?"

Giyu glared. "Just—"

"—And your—"

"—Enough!" Giyu stood, his sword drawn. "I'm leaving."

Shinobu pouted. "But I haven't even checked your reflexes."

Giyu sheathed his sword. "My reflexes are fine."

"Fine?" Shinobu scoffed. "You need to dodge like a caffeinated squirrel. Watch this." She lunged at him, her movements a blur.

Giyu sidestepped, narrowly avoiding a butterfly-shaped paperweight. "I'm done."

As he stormed out, Shinobu called after him. "Remember, Tomioka-san! Jazz hands!"

And so, in the moonlit corridors of the Butterfly Mansion, Giyu Tomioka vowed never to visit Shinobu Kocho for a medical checkup again. But deep down, he knew—he'd be back. Because where else could he get fashion advice and swordsmanship tips from a butterfly-loving, jazz-hand-wielding Hashira?

--🌊--

Shinobu's medical methods are... unconventional. But hey, at least Giyu's heart rate spiked.