I Hate to love you

CH - 10 - Please Stop

HEYAAA QUICK A/N

HELLO EVERYBODY!! HOW ARE YOU ALL?? We didn't upload for a while because of our exams.  (WTH IS INORGANIC CHEM PEOPLE HELP A PERSON OUT)  Anyways, we shall start with the 10th ch and we just wanted to say we are soo happy that we reached 500 reads and appreciate it a lot! (we dont deserve it tho we barely upload lmfao) 

Disclaimer- This chapter includes assaults, child abuse, childhood trauma and pedophilia. 

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Rachel's P.O.V

I was honestly surprised Keith knew how to deal with fears. He looks like that type of person who doesn't care about the world around him. Yes, he did comfort Luca but... they have known each other for years. I mean- I have also known him for years but- Keith hates me. Doesn't he?

 I guess it was just because he was feeling bad for not working with me and forcing me to stay awake so that we can work. Or am I doing that to him? I don't know. My head is about to burst right now. The dark just makes me uncomfortable. As if something is going to swallow me whole and I would be defenseless. 

---------------------------Flashback-----------------------------------

Narrator's P.O.V

Rachel's father's mistress (Tara)- Ugly brat, you- YOU STOLE YOUR DAD FROM ME, Y-YOU ARE DESPICABLE. 

The room was dark and Rachel was crying loudly. Tara pushed Rachel against the wall and hit her with her chair. "I was nothing- nothing but nice to you! You ungrateful brat! How dare you steal my husband? HOW DARE-" "Daddy is married to mommy, you-y-" Rachel was not able to complete her sentence because Tara pulled on her hair. "YOUR DADDY BELONGS TO ME- NOBODY BUT ME, ME ME ME!" She yelled like a lunatic and taunted Rachel the entire night, while hitting her with a chair and assaulting her. It was all black and Rachel couldn't see anything but feel the sharp pain every time Tara hurt her. She could only see shining blue eyes with a maniac-like gaze.

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Rachel's P.O.V 

I shuddered and hid my head in Keith's chest. I felt kind of comforted in his arms, I slowly looked up and saw shining blue eyes. The same eyes I saw 10 years ago, but those eyes were kind and comforting. I wanted to feel relieved, but I guess I lost the ability to feel safe. I was panting heavily and I was panicking. Keith's hands brushed against my back but I was still tensed up. My mind was full of memories I wanted to forget and move on from but I still got numerous flashbacks. All the same, ending with the same blue eyes shining in the darkness. It was as if I could feel the pain in my legs and her nails on my back. 

I know why I am scared of the dark, but I want to forget about it. All of my past memories-no-nightmares flashed in my mind and I winced in pain. Keith was not hurting me, he was doing the quite opposite, but it felt like I was stabbed in the back multiple times.

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Narrator's P.O.V

Rachel's dad- Rachel, Tara told me you ignored her this morning. You hurt her feelings. Do you have no shame? 

Rachel- Daddy, I don't feel comfortable around Tara... Why can't you love mommy? 

Rachel's dad- Why? What is bad about Tara? She is so nice. 

Rachel- Why can't you love mommy? 

Rachel's dad- I admit Tara is a bit young for me, but I love her. (A/N- She is 17, he is 35, A BIT YOUNG IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT MY DUDE.) 

Rachel's dad- Now Rachel, I am not paying those teachers for nothing, run along you have a class of trigonometry. Don't you? 

Rachel- But daddy- 

Rachel's dad- NO! GO AWAY YOU BRAT! (He yells) 

*Rachel backs up into a corner while her dad scowls at her.*

Rachel was terrified. Her dad was caring and fun, he never yelled at her for no reason. Rachel was too young to understand anything but she knew, her father had changed for the worse. After  her lessons and violin practices, they used to go out for bowling and had fun. When they came home, her mother always hugged both of them and they watched a movie together. Rachel missed the olden days and wished for her father to go back to his old self. But, with Tara living with them, there was no hope. 

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Rachel's P.O.V 

As I was staring at those blue eyes shining in the dark, the lights flickered back on. My vision was blurry but I knew, our faces were inches apart. 

"Um.. Rachel?" "Yeah?" "If it is alright with you, can you let go of my shirt?" I loosened my grip on his shoulder and stepped backwards. I tried fighting back the tears and luckily succeeded. "You alright?" "Yes, I am just a little afraid of the dark." I forced a chuckle and went back to work. My hand was working nonstop, but I didn't understand what I was writing. My mind refused to let me focus and kept on replaying the bad memories. Please stop- I can't anymore I-I- stop. Just go away STOP- 

--------------------------------flashback-----------------------------------------

Narrator's P.O.V (Rachel is 4) 

Rachel's Mother- Rachel! Come on honey, time for your lessons!

Rachel- Okay mom!

Rachel's  dad- Honey, you forgot your juice box. 

Rachel- Oh, thanks dad you are the best! I love you so much! 

----------------------------end of flashback----------------------------------------------------

Rachel's P.O.V

I have no father. Or at least I would prefer not to have one. Every thing I have ever suffered is because of him. My mother was too blindly in love with him to see he was cheating. Even if he comes begging to us for forgiveness, I will never give in. I won't be soft anymore. 

"Rachel?" "Mhm?" "I am done with my writing part, are you done too?" I snapped back to my senses and looked down. "Yea, I am done too, should we begin with the speaking part?" "No, I think we can do that on our own, I need a bit of sleep to function. My main worry was our file and presentation." "Seriously? Now you go back? It is 3:30 AM, the teachers will catch you now." "Come on, what is this? High school? No! teachers don't give two hecks if we are going to other dorms and coming out late." "I suppose you are right then. Goodbye, see you tomorrow." 

Keith's P.O.V

"I suppose you are right then. Goodbye, see you tomorrow." Huh? When did Rachel become so... sad? So empty, so lifeless. I looked back at her and nodded a goodbye. After exiting her dorm, I slowly made my way back to my dorm. Of course I held my breath the entire way, I am terribly afraid of the teachers..

Rachel was acting very strangely after the flickering lights incident. It was as if I was looking at a different person. She was zoned out and her eyes lost their special shimmer. The Rachel I know NEVER zones out, but I don't mind the little change in her behavior. But the weird vibe around her creeped me out. Like, she went through hell and came back. She refused to make eye contact and kept on writing without actually focusing on what she was writing. Something is wrong with her. I can feel it. 

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I am evil, I KNOW OHIHFROSIGRIBSFG

-Lara 

(Word Count 1230)