Amezona, its never too late

10 Sobriety

"Fuck this." I pick up my drink and I bring the glass to my mouth.

I'm so close to doing it, to breaking all my progress. I mean its just one drink, and my big problem isn't even alcohol its Oxy. What will one little drink do. I can't, but I want to. The smell of the drink brings back memories of dancing on the bar in LA when I was so drunk that I couldn't even remember my own name.

I put the glass down and pick up my phone.

I run into the bathroom and click on Sofia's contact and call her. "Hey, what's up?" Her voice says from the other end of the line. start to cry, I don't say anything because the tears are streaming down my face so fast. "Amelia, what happened." She says, her voice clearly concerned. I sniff. "I..I...I'm at Joe's. And I need your help, please." I say my, voice breaking. "I'll be there in 10." She says and immediately hangs up the phone. I sink to the floor of the bathroom and just cry into my knees.

*FLASHBACK*

"Hey. He's headed into surgery now." I say to kai as I approach them. They're visibly upset.

"How long will it take?" They ask."A few hours, depends." I answer.

"Look, I know this complication is frustrating, but we've made it this far and it's still gonna happen." I smile and look them in the eyes, gosh their eyes are beautiful.

They look at me and ask. "How can you be so sure?"

"Close your eyes." I say.

"Why?" They smile. "Fine." They agree and close their eyes.

I look at them while their eyes are close and try to calm them down by saying. "You are on peaks island, off the coast of Maine in late summer. You're standing on the beach, which is also surrounded by huge, amazing trees. It's nighttime, so it's cool, but the breeze is warm. And when you look up...stars...forever and ever. Hearing the waves...the calm exists...like no other."

They open their eyes and look at me.

"Did you just guide-meditate me?" They ask. "Did it work?" I ask back. "It didn't not work." They smile.

They push away my hair from my face, and place their hand on my cheek. Then they kiss me, their kiss is gentle but it makes my body light up like I've never felt before. This kiss is like no other, I don't know what it is about Kai but damn they make me crazy.

____________________________________

"Hi, I'm Amelia, and I'm a drug addict." I say.

Sofias sitting beside me, one hour ago she got me from Joes, where I was a mess. And she drove me home so I could sleep, and the next day we went to a meeting.

"I've been sober for 13 years, and It's been tough. I've had times where I almost threw it all away, I mean you wouldn't call it a problem if it was easy. And I'm finally with someone that makes me so happy and who understands my pain, I love her, but I don't trust myself. Everyone I love has died, and I keep starting at day 1. No matter how hard I try, I always find myself at another funeral. I'm so pathetic, there's this girl who's smart, and beautiful and she loves me. But I can't stop thinking about my ex, who left me and is the reason I Almost relapsed. I just don't know what's wrong with me lately." I say to group

"And yesterday I almost through it all away." People in the meeting give assuring glances and smiles towards me. After the meeting Sofia meets me over by the hallway outside the meeting.

"What happened last night?" She leans against the wall and asks.

"I don't know." I admit. "One second I was at the hospital and the next I find myself at a bar almost throwing away 23 years of work, I don't know what happened." I put my hands on my head and looks down. Sofia puts a hand on my shoulder. "You'll be okay, I know you, you're so strong." she smiles and hands me a coffee.