The Red Dragon King

Chapter 5

THE GRIGORI

Issei was sitting in the room that Azazel had assigned for him until things were ready for him in Tannin's territory. As he sat in a chair next to the bed, he thought about how things were going from here on out. Issei's heart was severely scarred, even more so than when Raynare killed him.

ISSEI'S POV

Heh, I never thought I'd end up here, the place where Raynare came from. I wonder, when supernatural beings die what happens to them? Do they all end up in purgatory? If so, what's it like there? Is ‘she’ still alive somehow somewhere? 

Sometimes I wonder, would it have been better if I had died that day–no what am I saying, I am grateful to be alive. If I had a chance to start all over again, would I choose this path of heartache and suffering? No, I definitely would, for what it's worth, I've met so many amazing people and friends. But, even so, no matter how hard I try, peace just seems so unattainable, why are we even fighting? Is it beliefs, ideals, or just desires?

Had I never been born with the boosted gear, I probably would just still be a boring, and useless pervert. Back before all of this crazy stuff happened to me I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life except having a harem, how pathetic of me. I had a dream but no means of attaining it, no direction or ambition that could have led me to it. And now, here I am, in the thick of battles and politics among beings far more powerful than I ever imagined. It's strange how life turns out; how one moment can flip your world upside down and set you on a path you never anticipated. 

Yet, in all this chaos, in all this uncertainty, I found something worth fighting for. More than just the fleeting dreams of a naive teenager, but a cause. I've seen the darkness that lurks within the hearts of both humans and supernatural beings, but I've also seen the light.These experiences, battles, they've shaped me, molded me into someone I never thought I could be.

But, even with the power I have, can I really make a difference in this world or am I a cog in some grand scheme? It feels like I'm more lost than ever. 

I remember thinking how cool it would be to have powers, to be someone special. But reality is far from fantasy. With power comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes sacrifice. I've sacrificed more than I ever thought I was capable of, and yet, the battles never seem to end. There's always another enemy, another challenge, another obstacle to overcome. And for what? Just when I think I've found happiness it's ripped away from me.

And with the fallout with Rias and the others, I feel more isolated than ever. They were my family, loved ones, support system, the ones I fought alongside with and for. But in the heat of anger and frustration, words were said that can't be taken back, actions were taken that have driven a wedge so deep, I'm not sure it can ever be mended. I've always been afraid of being alone, and now that fear has become my reality. Sitting here in this room, in the very place that symbolizes the start of my journey into the supernatural, I can't help but wonder if I've made the right choices. A part of me wishes to die but I refuse.

Not only that but I can't get ‘her’ out of my head, Raynare……

{Will you die for me?}

Even now, I can still hear her voice, she's the one that started all of this. The pain she inflicted on my heart, mind, and perhaps even my soul, it still has an impact on me to this day, except now it's progressed to the point where even my own body is trying to kill me; I'm so pathetic. But it's pretty ironic, The one who took my life, in the beginning, still occupies such a significant part of my thoughts, constantly reminding me of my naivety and the cruel reality of the world I've been thrust Yet, in some twisted way, I owe her for pushing me into this life that has brought me so much pain but also immeasurable growth and connections I would never trade for anything.