My name is B. O. B. a God of highest calibre,
I resemble Brad Pitt and my shit smells of Shalimar,
I curse you to live out a real life nightmare,
Because you have a toy car and you didn't share,
I live for liquor, beer, marijuana and darts,
I even find joy critiquing friends farts,
Inhaling deeply their methane gas,
It fuels my ability to act so crass,
I enjoy driving drunk and endangering lives,
Now I wait on the corner til the bus arrives,
When friends refuse to come over and visit,
I turn envious green and get oh so livid,
I lost my teeth to addiction but reserve the right,
To judge other addicts in their personal plight,
I'm above such trivialities as an alcoholic artiste,
I give praise to those that need it the least,
I insult you, I love you, then scold you for days,
These are just some of my quirky ways,
I can't be held accountable for my actions,
So f\/€k the world and it's dissatisfactions,
I breathe heavy metals in my artist's lair,
As I contemplate life it's au contraire,
I paint a picture of despair and deceit,
Then demand of you to kiss my feet,
Oil paints have altered me as a man,
I'm a mad hatter now with an incoherent plan,
Nevertheless I make sense in my mind,
I'm a legend of the most conceited kind,
My latest proclivity, sending nude photos to senior citizens,
They should be so lucky to see my junk and the shape I'm in,
If only he realized his form was of lunatic past the fringes,
The door to his discretion has been ripped off its hinges,
Next thing you know local headlines will read,
Local artist cuts off his ear to spite Facebook feed,
He'll then keep it next to his oil painting easel,
Asking it for advice to skirt law in schemes illegal,
Like his master plan, soon to be revealed to world population,
He's going to start his very own television station,
Because how could anyone get through the day without Beer over Brains,
So tune in folks, don't miss the genius and the heights he attains,
We're in luck, as we speak he's beaming to your living room set,
Sorry he's a genius so there will be lines you won't get,
The following is his first quote, how could we not know this,
I guess it's cause B. O. B. is so late to show biz,
"As a God I spout vitriol and love simultaneous,
It's my right to speak confusion extraneous,
Do as I say not as I do,
This is divine wisdom I impart to you. "
~ Farls Tokley
YOU ARE READING
Bark Has Bite feat. Carbuncles
PoetryA mixed bag, next handful a whole new ball game. This collection of poems was born from Sunday drives with parents as a kid and doing the same with my son. It's fun to listen to our favourite music and watch the scenery fly by. As a teenager and yo...
