19. Is it over?

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It was the nineteenth finally. I didn't want to get out of bed, because this day could probably alter my future. I'm not ready for that much of pressure. I slithered and fell on the ground from my bed and crawled to the restroom.

This is all too soon for me.

I didn't have anything prepared, I lost one of my contacts somewhere after getting drunk the previous night and I didn't iron any of my clothes.

I opened instagram to just divert my nervousness away. Someone had dmed me. It was Nayan.

She just sent me a location in Coney Island where we would be meeting. And I was panicking.

I wonder if Erin's having a good time.

I stalked her account, there was no trace of the wedding. I went into her followings to search for her fiance, and... she wasn't following him. I had a panic again, a different one, I was worried if she ws fine. what if she's gonna have a breakdown today and I'm not there for her?
What if she makes a bad decision to end the wedding just because her gut said so?
Did I really pick a date with my past life over a good friend's special day?
Am I overthinking?

I was sitting in front of my cupboard wondering what personality I should project today. Should I maybe show her my business side by wearing a slack again? Has she seen so much of it already? Should I just show up in a tracksuit? Cuz, you know we might jog in that beach and stuff. Should I pack in a swimsuit? Will she freak out if she sees me in a half naked swimsuit?
Just don't think at all, Madhu. You're practically wasting our time.

I wore casuals, streching the wrinkles here and there so she knows I actually put some effort on it.
My hair though? I did nothing it was perfect.

I called my driver, sweet old Billy, he came in a minute. I sent him the location to his phone and he nodded. He saw me being all dressed up and nervous, and nodded his head with a smirk.

This car has started, Destination: Coney Island.

I wonder if baby me knows we have won the fight. She probably does. I looked through the window and smiled. It was slowly drizzling, the sky had turned grey and the roads were clearing.

I looked at the sky and wondered if she's thinking about me too. I wonder if I can call Erin right now. She would be all dressed up and excited. Man she will look so beautiful in that white dress.

Now that she's getting married, I think I'm finally in the safezone. I've had serious things bottled up and it's finally time to let them flow. I- how do I put this- I- um- deep within my heart- um liked her. And that is something that should not have happened. It's burst open, finally. No one is hurt. We've all landed. She with her husband, me with my probably future wife. I'm so happy for everyone, maybe I should host a party about this.

I really nailed this scenario the second time if you think about it.

The driver was giggling staring at the mirror in front of him. "We're only 10 minutes away from the beach, missy" he said and smiled.

I- felt dizzy. Do I want this? I don't think I know for sure. I panicked.
"Billy, do you think you can turn the car around? I don't want to go there." I screamed and touched his shoulders.
He stared at me for a second, "okay missy." he said and turned the car back.

"Going to home, ma'am?" he asked.

I paused and fell down the seat wondering what I'm going to do now.

Me and Nayan, we were perfect. But we're no longer neighbours
or kids who have no other business but to fall in love.

"Do you want to go to Erin's wedding perhaps, missy?" he side eyed me.

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