Craig: heh, i think i just finished my 8th pack of cigarettes today.
Jimmy: why the fuck is ur virgin ass smoking marlboro reds
<Clyde kicked jimmy from the groupchat>
Craig: lol, we don't even know who that fucker is. i should beat him up at school, after im no longer on house arrest though.
Clyde: i'm crying.. c-craigy? are you gonna rub that cigarette ash all over urself so you can become a darker skin color?
Craig: heh... oh clyde, i'm already black.
Tolkien: i wish i was black, im so insecure about my pale skin...
Clyde: pookie... don't make me cry...
Tolkien: o-ok clyde anything for you
Craig: you IMBECILLES... WHERE IS MY TRANSGENDER NEOPRONOUN AUTISTIC ADHD ANXIETY RIDDLED DEMOCRATIC DISCORD KITTEN?!?!?
Tweek: r-right here alpha!
Craig: tch.. that's RIGHT. what did daddy tell you about running off and having your own opinions?
Tweek: that.. it was bad because i'm an insufferable whiny omega...
Craig: yeah, don't make that mistake again, kitten.
Tweek: meeeowww >\\\<
Lexus: um,, hey craaaaiggg ur so hot lol ok
Craig: oh yeah? good thing i'm a bisexual lol, i just kinda hate women tho. oh btw i have heterochromia and suck at school ok
Lexus: i'll show u a good time... i'm an evil cheerleader with 10 pounds of makeup on.. tho when i step on the scale im still 30 pounds did i mention im evil just bc im a girl
Clyde: man... im chubby in real life.. :( im c-crying...
Tolkien: sorry guys, i have an essay to do about martin luther king jr being craig tuckers ancestor.. ttyl!
Tweek: grrr... this BITCH is trying to take MY ALPHA...
Craig: tweek u just have jelose ishues.
Lexus: craig ur so hot and popular alpha bad boy in the school!!
Craig: lol umm ok thx
Tweek: leave my alpha alone...ok? kk
Lexus: oh really? well i'll beat your ass and bully you kid!
Tweek: oh yeah? u and what army?
<Lexus added Stan, Wendy, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny to the groupchat>
Lexus: THIS army
Cartman: CARTMAN SMASH!!
Stan: guys stop it i'm in the middle of hanging myself...
Craig: ugh, all you imbecilles... i'm 9 feet tall btw
Tweek: oh.. i-i'm 3 centimeters.. *sharts*
Craig: hahahahaa ok so cute ig
Wendy: hey there! i'm evil! and i'm also a cheerleader and have a crush on stan!
Stan: i'm stan! i have depression!
Kyle: im kyle! im locked in cartmans basement because he's in love with me! hopefully stan will come save me!
Stan: haha! i will! i also have depression!
Cartman: and IM skinny, and also in love with kyle and im jewish
Kenny: hi i'm just here to be super horny and act as a comic relief character lol
YOU ARE READING
Craigs gang makes a group chat
FanfictionA group chat texting fic, I decided to spit some jokes straight out of my ass and shove them all into this mess I had created. Enjoy reading, or don't, this has a concerning amount of graphic fart jokes for some reason. warning: that was the warning...
