Out Of The Birdcage • Limited Life Fanfic

.°• Chapter 10: The Funeral •°.

Gone.

He wanted to look, to check, he really did, what if it's a mistake? A simple error? Jimmy's turned his head a bit, his cheek smushed on Pearl's shoulder.

Nope. Grian lay there, still, cold, empty. He used to buzz, you know? With living energy. He was talking and living and joking and laughing and there. Jimmy was crying again, grasping onto Pearl for comfort. She was like some kind of scaffolding, and he needed to be rebuilt again.

I love you Tim.

The words just echoed in his already far too full head. His last shenanigan, the confession of his love. It just felt so gratifying, knowing he didn't really think displaying love was weird. He always made sure to say so when Jimmy and Joel said it, but, maybe, he was just saying it back in his head this whole time?

And now he lay peacefully, undisturbed by the commotion he didn't mean to cause. His eyes weren't shut like a last goodbye, more like a gentle nap, a promise to wake up again.

"It's okay, it's okay"

"But it's not okay Pearl," Jimmy whispered through choked sobs, "It's not okay"

A couple minutes passed before Jimmy loosed his grip on Pearl. His head lifted to take a gasp of air, leaving a wet patch of tears where his face had been. He looked up at Pearl, who was now staring away, into who knows where. What was it like for her when Big B died? When she had no one to hold onto, no one to cradle her while the winds of reality threaten to knock her over? She stood, strong as ever. Big B had only just died the day before and look where she was. He needed to stay strong.

"Pearl, I'm so sorry, I just- I can't-"

"No, Jimmy, don't be sorry" She set her gaze away from whatever she was looking at before, but instead at him, "I know you may want to move on, but trust me, Jimmy, it never helps. Shutting it all in never helps". This time Pearl held onto him, and she spaced out again.

They could've done this all day, they felt they needed to, but with the sun drawing in, it was hard to ignore the golden hair illuminated by the sunlight, the body on the bed nearby.

Pearl snapped out of her trance,"We should give him a proper send-off. A burial".

Jimmy nodded, she was right. There was a game to win and he couldn't imagine not giving Grian a proper goodbye and just letting him rot alone. They never really knew when anyone could strike. And strike they may. He couldn't just not say goodbye.

"Of course," Jimmy's voice came out more broken than he'd have hoped for, "That's a lovely idea"

By the time they had gone out into the open air, a light drizzle had grayed the clouds. They walked across bread bridge, lifting Grian's weight between them. Jimmy carried Grian's feet; he couldn't bear to look at his empty face.

Joel's body, or what was left of it, still remained by the the crater from a few days ago. Jimmy and Pearl nodded at eachother, and they set Grian down next to as much of Joel as they could.

"He'd have liked to be buried on the bread bridge, next to Joel, right?" Pearl prompted, glancing kindly at Jimmy. It was nice that she knew that he might not want to talk right now, but it was still worth trying.

Jimmy nodded through the tears he had embraced. He would have loved it.

Rain trickled down their faces as they dug, their shovels building the place their friends would lie until the ground claimed them as their own.

It wasn't a glamorous, elaborate funeral, Jimmy knew that. But as he lowered his best friend into the earth, he knew it was a meaningful place, and that was all that mattered. His tears mixed with the rainwater; he wished he could give him and Joel so much more, but that was all they could do.

As their faces slowly disappeared underneath the dirt, Pearl chipped away at a sign, placing it between their graves.

Here lies Grian and Joel, the baddest boys of them all.

It was a reminder of everything they had accomplished together. The pranks, the traps, the shenanigans. Jimmy let out a gentle chuckle under his breath. Just like they had talked about last night. How did Grian do it? How did he keep his composure when he knew that he was going to die in front of his best friend within a few minutes? How did he keep it from him?

But like another thing they mentioned last night, it was all a matter of circumstance, that they were here and who they were here with, but they found eachother. Grian, Jimmy and Joel. The Bad Boys. And if he had to do it all over again, he wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm going back to prepare some food" Pearl said, patting Jimmy on the shoulder, "Take as much time as you need"

Her hooded silhoutte shrunk in the distance, and Jimmy was left sobbing alone, left to stew in his grief. He didn't have to hide much of his feelings anymore, but he was too tired to scream. Instead, he just buried himself in his team jacket, knowing that everyone else who owned one was long gone.

"Why're you sobbing, lad?"

What?

Joel sat beside him, legs spread out in front of him, his brow arched in concern. But he was more of an outline, a transparent figure. A ghost.

It caught him off guard, but now that the surprise had quickly faded, hot tears pricked Jimmy's eyes again.

"I just miss you so much" His voice was hoarse. He didn't know what else to say.

"Pfft, come on Jim, you've been fine until now" But a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Jimmy laughed meekly. He was right, but that didn't make it any less hard for him right now. He tried his best to recompose himself, to gather the strings that he has pulled apart, but he couldn't bring himself to stop crying.

"It's just, I miss you so much, y'know?" He repeated, his hands unable to wipe away the mix of rain and tears from his face.

"I miss you too lad" Joel leant back, smiling slightly, and looked at the rain. It hung down every leaf of every tree, but in the end they grew, and that's the important part.

Though the loss had shattered everything Jimmy had built, stripped him to his core, to everything he was trying to hide, he was going to learn from it, and that's the important part.

And knowing Joel was there, even if it was just a grief fuelled fantasy, filled him with a strange comfort. Jimmy rubbed his reddened eyes, "You think- you think we'll see eachother again when this all starts over?"

"I'm sure we will" Another voice.

Grian.

His heart almost leapt out of his chest. They were all here. Together. And though they probably couldn't hug, they were with eachother.

"We better" Jimmy whispered. You could barely hear it beneath the rain.

They sat next to eachother, Grian sensibly cross-legged and Joel kicking his legs about restlessly, not unlike a little girl at a sleepover. They felt so much like themselves, even if they were just lies made by Jimmy's clouded mind.

"'The baddest boys of them all'. I like that" Joel grinned, reading out his own grave.

"It's not the prettiest place to be buried" Grian remarked. Jimmy smiled sadly. It wasn't. It was chucking it down with rain, and the bridge was splintered and oh they deserved so much better.

"You're not the prettiest face to bury" Joel snickered, shifting his gaze over to Grian mischievously.

"Joel!" Jimmy half shrieked, half laughed. He laughed harder as Grian tried to swing a punch at Joel's shoulder, but his arm went straight through.

After mumbling a quick, "get over yourself Joel", Grian said "You should go back and see Pearl, you've only got an hour and twenty minutes or so left. Make the most of this. You could win, Tim"

Leave? He didn't- I mean I guess he had to at some point, but he didn't want to. But he couldn't throw away what chance he had. He had never come this close before. He took a slow breath, stood up, and flicked the dirt off his knees.

But when he looked around, his friends were gone, and he was all alone again.

Word count: 1446