Forevermore

Smart cookie?

Vada would be, so very mad at me if she knew what I was doing. Luckily for me, Vada went to hang out with Ethan. After Monica left, I decided on the bright idea to text Ryan. Not for anything else, just because I know he'd buy me liquor if I asked.

Me: buy me fireball? I have $30.

Ryan: sure, I'll be there in 20.

Me: fantastic

I wait impatiently on the couch, watching the time go by as I desperately need some alcohol in me. I begin pacing around, thinking about everything that's going on right now. Finally, the doorbell rings, and I see ryan holding a bag of my well earned liquor with a sad expression when I open the door. I'm not in the mood to hear any shit from him, I just want to get drunk and eat some food.
After an awkward 2 minutes, I can say I made my way to the couch, Ryanless. After many times drinking the bottle, I'm laughing at some YouTube video I put on, I hear my phone go off.

Vada :) : hey I'm not gonna be home until later tonight, ethan and me are at the beach. Love you <3

Me: okay, I'm just drinking anyways, be safe sista

Unknown: please Roxie, I'm begging you to meet

Me: fine. Let's make a plan then.

Unknown: friday?

Me: ok.

I put my phone down, I don't want my drunk to get ruined, I don't wanna think about sad things in my life that bring me down every single day. All I want is today to be boy free, texter free, and Monica free. But thoughts invade my mind, about my mom. About my dad, about Monica, Vada, Ryan, and Evan. Why did Monica lie? I mean, she didn't lie yet. But she's hiding stuff, apparently related to me. Why?

I sit up, noticing how spinny the room has gotten. How nice, that alcohol changes your views and your thoughts. It's dark outside now, and my bright mind takes me on a walk through the park. Normally I wouldn't, because it's dark and maybe something's out there, but right now that would honestly fix my problems right now, if a bear attacked me and killed me.
I can hear laughing from the playground, probably high school kids drinking like me. How sad I'll probably never experience that type of fun with my own friends. I continue my walk, trying to eavesdrop on any conversation I can hear.

When it begins to feel cold, I force myself to turn around and walk back. Alcohol might keep me warm under its blanket for a little, but I'm not invincible. The house is warm and inviting when I first walk in, but knowing all the things that are going to happen, it quickly wears off. Annoyed at every little thing, I decide to go to sleep until I hear the door unlock. Vadas home, maybe she'll also be drunk and sleep with me in my room.

"Well why don't you just leave me Alice? If you're soooo miserable, then leave!" I can hear my dad shouting at my mom from the stairs.
"Because David! I have 2 little girls who need at least one parent, and you as another child!"
"Don't fucking talk to me like that. You're supposed to respect the man in your life!" My mommy scoffs.
"You don't even want me around, David. Just let me take the girls and I'll leave.." are my mom and dad getting divorced?
I hear him scream at her, before I hear my grandpas voice. He's telling my mommy that nothing good will happen from that. By this point, I can hear Vada in her sleep making noise, so I crawl in her bed and sleep next to her.

When I wake up, I hear clashing of pans downstairs, and force myself awake. The bottle of fireball is next to my bed, waiting for me to pick it up once again and drown myself in it. After a nice hot shower, I clean my piercings, brush my teeth and wash my face, heading back into my room, I sit on my phone for a couple minutes.

Unknown: please, let me prove to you I'm not what you think.

Me: I already told you, we can.

I hear running up the stairs, and Vada bursts into my room, half panting.
"Monica.. is making.. breakfast." She sits on my bed, indulging me in her night with Ethan.
"Did he drive you home? I heard the door open but I didn't hear you say anything?" She gives me a puzzled look.
"I didn't get home until this morning, I didn't wanna mess up my sleep schedule.. must've been Monica, although she said she didn't get here until this morning." Odd. I could've sworn I heard someone come in last night? Maybe I was too drunk.