My Vision ✨

Chapter 20 ✨

Gun's P.O.V.

I don't know how to process everything! What just happened a few moments ago?! I met Off and I even slapped him?! What am I even doing?! Was New warning me about this?

"Hey Gun!" New screamed as he was frantically running towards me.

"Gun did you entered inside the art gallery?!" He asked as he shaked my whole body.

"New stop! I did went inside!" I said.

"Shit! Gun are you okay? I didn't knew how to stop you..." New said being extremely concerned about me.

"I am not..." I said and hugged him. Again my tears couldn't stop. I feel so miserable right now... It just hurts to bad...

"Let's go from here Gun." New said as he stood up and started to take me with him.

"New..."

"Yes?"

"I slapped him..."

"Huh?"

"Was it too mean?"

"No honestly. He deserves it cause he hurt you five years ago."

"But why is he here now?"

"He actually didn't knew that you are in New York. Ohm fooled him to be here. I know that Off will never dare to see you."

"And why would Ohm do that?"

"Because Off can't move on from you. Ohm can't see him being miserable like this anymore."

"But five years ago Off clearly chose Tor, where is he now?"

"May I interrupt your conversation?" Tay said.

"Well if you explain better than New then sure."

"Well five years ago, Off did wanted to come to you. Gun I know that you had felt his feelings for you. He liked you more, honestly he loved you. He didn't wanted you to face criticism for dating him. He is a guy and most importantly he's blind. He never wanted you to get hate for being in love with him."

"That's why he decided to hurt me the most?!"

"Gun, please listen to me first. I know that you are hurt, but he is also hurt. He never wanted to be in the public light, being with you takes him into the public eyes automatically. He could have compromised I know, but he had decided to move on with Tor. Ohm was the one who gave him the idea of doing so. Ohm is still guilty about it."

"Tay please stop being biased towards your friend and tell me the whole story about what actually happened."

"When you were about to leave Thailand, I told him about it. He wanted to come to stop you. He really did his best. But he couldn't."

"Was it that hard Tay?"

"Off had broken up with Tor on the day you were supposed to leave. Off was fully prepared to apologize to you and ask for a second chance. But Tor had a car accident just a few hours before your flight departure. Tor's situation was very critical. He was saying Off's name again and again at the operation theater. I had to take Off to Tor instead of the airport. When we reached there, the doctors let Off in the OT and Tor passed away a few minutes after he saw Off. That was the only day I was happy that Off couldn't see. If he saw what I saw that day, he might get traumatized. Tor was in really bad state. Off really got broken. In his conscious he could feel that everything is his fault and he has lost everyone. He has messed up everything in his life. It took him a year to get out of the trauma he had after Tor's death. He didn't even stepped out of his room for a year. He had depressive disorder. He was on heavy medication and therapy. Nothing worked. He then decided to devote himself to art just to escape from the pain he has been dealing with. But the sad thing here is that he couldn't focus on art too. His mom found a few eye donor and had him do a eye replacement surgery which failed. So many problems in his life were going on that not breathing was the easiest option for him. I and Ohm were trying our best but nothing worked. He started to get And suddenly one day Off was able to draw again. And the art piece he completed after three years of sufferings was your portrait. I was really amazed to see how he could draw you so perfectly, he never ever saw a glimpse of you. He then gradually returned to being an artist. All the time you were on his mind. I and Ohm have tried to convince him too many times to come to meet you. But everytime he replied that, 'let me be in my agony while Gun is healing himself. I know that he hates me. I have seen the Gun who loves me undescribably but I can't ever afford to see the Gun who hates me. I have done enough wrong to him, let him be with someone better.' Off has always tried to protect you Gun. He has always supported you by watching your videos and other content. Listening to your voice helped him throughout these five years of sufferings." Tay said. I listened to him silently, realizing what I have been ignorant about since past few years. Tears kept falling from my eyes. My whole body got numb. I have no idea what to feel or what should I do? Should I just go back to the art gallery and talk to Off?!

"Gun I know that you might not feel that I'm telling the complete truth, but you can ask New. I am no exaggerating anything. Off really loves you very much. He always had wanted the best for you. At that time he had thought that letting you go is the best for you and still he thinks that. His disability brought his confidence to a very low level. He never ever thought for a day that he deserves you, you were always out of his league. Even now when his art has reached at an international level, he doesn't feels that he fits in your life. He got his own share of guilt for making you feel horrible. Honestly even according to me, he was wrong at that time. But trust me, what you did today was too much. I can't even imagine how he must have felt. I know that you have been hurt all along the way, but he has also been hurting." Tay said making me feel that I shouldn't have slapped Off. What if he is too hurt that he doesn't wanna continue this difficult life of his? What if I hit him so hard that he can not take the pain anymore... I love him, shouldn't I be the one to embrace him when he is hurting his soul? I can't ever move on from this man, I need him back in my life right now!

"Tay.... Have you ever heard that Gun Atthaphan is a punctual man?"

"Huh?!"

"Tell me where Off is. Five years ago Off was late but I can't be late today."

"Okay wait lemme find out."

"Okay." I said and waited as Tay called Off. Obviously Off didn't picked up. Tay then called Ohm who also didn't picked up at first. Then Ohm called back.

"Hey Ohm! Where are you guys?" Tay asked.

"At Off's hotel's room. No actually I'm outside his room, he is inside. He said that he wants to be alone. Of course he doesn't wanna see me now, I am the one who brought him here to meet Gun."

"And you let him be alone?! Are you nuts?!" I said interrupting their conversation.

"Gun? Why do you even care? You are the one who made him miserable like this!" Ohm said, his words stabbed me in the most hurtful way.

"I know that Off did wrong but if your love for him was that great then why didn't you ever tried to know what is going on with Off?! Why did you never tried to check on him?! My best friend was going through the worst things when you were there in NYC trying to move on! If you cared you would have at least tried to know how he has been doing! I brought him here to meet you, so that you forgive him. So that you listen to his side and give him a second chance. And what did you did? You didn't listened to him again! You never once tried to know his side, all you did was to hate him!"

"Ohm stop! Please stop! Stop! I never! Never even for once hated Off! I never hated Off... He is the man I loved the most in this whole universe... I know, I know that I am also wrong. I didn't dared to face the reality. I didn't dared to listen that Off is happy with someone who isn't me. I wasn't ready to know about his happy life without me! I never ever had thought that he might ever go through these trouble... I asked Tay and New to never mention him, I tried my best to cut him off. But what did it brought me?! Do you think that I was really happy?! I was dying everyday, every single day I suffered because he was too far away from me. I died thinking that Tor must be with him, enjoying with him. Everything has hurt me too!" I said as I was sobbing. Everything is hurting right now.

"Gun... Sorry I didn't meant to make you feel like this..." Ohm said.

"It's okay... I'm coming, take care of Off please." I said. I took the address from Tay and ran to Off's hotel room. I ran with my whole force as the hotel room was nearby and the roads were full of traffic jam. So running was the only option. I ran with all I got, soon I entered into the hotel. I went to elevator and pressed the button to third floor where Off's room was located. I saw Ohm the moment the elevator door opened. I ran to him and suddenly I was out of power. I took deep breaths before knocking on the door. My whole body was shaking.

"Gun are you fine?" Ohm asked. I stood there without any answer. Was I fine? Can I still hold on? Am I okay? Can I take these? Is pulling Off out of the agony is the right answer I have been looking for? I thought for a minute. No matter I think, the best thing comes across my mind is talk it out with Off. We both have suffered enough.

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Update : Idk why I just write some straight up angst 🥲