Turning Point||Book 2

48: Romano.

If everything goes as planned, you should be reading this in the darkness of an unfinished building, questioning why, what, how, and even when. And though writing this is the most agonizing task I've ever faced, I must clarify how it all began, starting from the moment I entered you this morning.

Xenia, I left the villa and retreated to my car parked on a random street to smoke, attempting to avoid dwelling on thoughts of you because I feared backing out. But I didn't. By 3 PM, I mustered the courage to drive to Golden Vale. I disregarded the proper approach, aware they wouldn't grant me a visit with Joanna. Armed with money, a gun, and a verbal threat, I knew any rational person would yield to those three. But don't take it that it was the nurses who failed you; it was me.

I gained access and found Joanna. I wish I felt something strong enough to make me walk away, let go of this plan, but I found myself carrying her into my car. I brought her straight to the villa after our designated time for you to leave. She was over my shoulder, hanging there so no one would notice she wasn't you, just in case Max or Orlando were there.

I took her straight to your room and dressed her in your clothes. I didn't want her to suffer, but death is death. Even if it was just one bullet through her chest, I had done the most inconceivable thing. I didn't allow Max and Orlando to examine her body because, of course, she doesn't have your tattoos and neither did she exactly have your build anymore, but from the resemblance that could be spotted in the midst of all the blood, there couldn't be a doubt. I planned it all well, through the night, and followed through with every little detail so you'd not miss anything that happened.

Sadly, I buried her myself, no one's help. I sent the pictures to Ottavio, who would enhance them for a better effect before passing them to Morelli. But that's just the means, not the end.

And the end? It's you. In that building where you are, a man will come for you. He's Ottavio's contact. Only he, Ottavio, and I know about this plan. That's why I insisted you go alone, because after today, you're as good as dead. Again. But this time, I really am going to ensure it's kept that way. Crazy, right? There's really no world in which we could exist together.

The man has a tattoo of a bloodied lip—for confirmation. Your passport is ready, twenty million in cash. It's not enough to compensate for betraying you or your sister's life; it's simply to keep you out of Italy and beyond their reach, my reach. He'll get you there. I've asked not to be told where you'll choose to go because, honestly, Xenia, I don't want to have to search again. I won't try this time because I don't deserve you. I'm a monster.

I hope the name on your passport, your new identity, suits you. I discovered your mother was Alice River, may her gentle soul rest in peace, so I chose that for you.

I know these words can never mend the shattered pieces of your heart or erase the horror of what I've done. But in the twisted world we inhabit, sacrifices are demanded of us that defy all morality.

You were never meant to bear the burden of my sins, but fate has cruelly infused my darkness into your soul. In that moment of ruthless choice, with the demands of my Family bringing me to my knees, I made a decision I can never justify—to preserve your life in my own selfish way.

I can offer no solace, no excuse, for the pain I have caused you. My only hope is that someday you may find it in your heart to forgive the unforgivable, to look beyond the darkness of my actions and, despite that my fixation on you has ultimately led to our damnation, remember that it will always be you in my heart.