Jupiter Rising

Chapter Ten- Forgivness (for a price)

I lie in bed, and my slumber is not my friend again. I think of Rowan next door and I ache for her. Why must she handle me this way?! Like I am something to be caged?! I know I'm maddened, and I know I'm setting fire to far too many things... and yes I did destroy part of the
Great Hall. Ugh! Okay I'm a tad out of control, but it's not me, it's this body, it defies me. My little Princess if truth be told, is extremely strong willed, and alot impatient to arrive.

Leda's birth is imminent. I feel it. There are those same familiar signs I remember through nightmares, of Jupiters arrival. There are the same familiar twists and turns inside of a womb that is already too small for her, an infants limbs beginning to protrude from your belly like a parasite from its host.

I fling the covers off of me once more, a nightly ritual of too hot too cold... too agitated, too lonely... and yet too stubborn to reach out for my mate and make it stop.

I've always been stubborn, and as I think it I hear my Mothers voice say it "My darling daughter set your fire down and breathe in and out slowly. Do it long enough that you unbind your heart from its stubborn thorned vines and see clearly"

My Mother. Ugh, how she betrayed me. With thoughts of my Mother handing my child to another, came the heat through my veins, and my little Princess joined in, when her Mummy was upset, so then was she. I feared I was handing down the wrong impression to my unborn princess, that her Mummy was a raging vengeful pyromaniac with no chill. Leda must have a terrible impression of the Fae in this Oak, for each I've encountered this month has driven me insane.

I place my hand on my belly and take deep and soothing breaths. I think to Rowan, and I feel an intense urge to go to her and ask her to forgive my insanity of late. I want her to hold me, to handle me like she does with care and tell me it's all going to be okay, and that my mind and body will soon, once again, be my own. I don't want Rowan and I to just be together out of duty, the thought was absurd, for it was too late now to take back the way our magic had entwined and danced together, and the way we had already merged and made love. We were one already, and nothing would change that. I could pretend it was duty, and so could she, and we could both stubbornly avoid one another for centuries, but it wouldn't erase us. Nothing could.

I give in, and let my heart lead me to her. I place my shawl over my shoulders and I walk to the door, my body aches, my feet throb and so do my hips. I am exhausted and depleted, and every step is torturous as my Little Princess weighs down on me, but I need to see Rowan, and apologise.

My guard is at my door when I open it "Queen consort" he acknowledges "shall I call for your ladies maid"

I shake my head "that won't be necessary. I want to see the Queen"

I attempt to step over the hallway, but a golden plated and uniformed arm erects in front of me. Jay. "Queen Rowan is being dressed for the ball"

"And" I ask agitatedly, feeling heat rise up my body.

"She is not to be disturbed" he told me "her orders"

I placed my hand gently onto the metal plate on his arm, and within seconds he yelped and withdrew it, gold dripping to the floor in a melted puddle "That doesn't include me"

"Let me announce you" Gladiolus asks, from beside Queen Rowans door.

"Unnecessary" I enforce, pushing past and opening the chambers door, before closing it behind me and blocking out the armed buffoons.

I can hear voices carry from Rowans dressing room. It was Robin and Cricket speaking, and Rowan answering. I waited outside and took a spot on the end of the bed, looking around and seeing none of my things, but aching when I saw a painting sat on Rowans bedside of us.