Chapter 1

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I've nearly finished packing up my things, anxiously waiting for the seven-hour drive home, well six and a half with my driving. I'm going home for the summer after another long year away at school. Home is Las Vegas, school is in Reno. A good amount of kids from home go to the same school as me yet traveling anywhere else and saying you're from Las Vegas will get you the usual reaction of, "Wait, really? So, do you live on the strip? What's it like?" I'm determined to eventually make up a full story about how I live in a penthouse in one of the hotels and that life is nothing but a wild, rich party. When in reality, most locals live in the suburbs and stay far away from the chaos.

After this summer, I will officially be a senior at the university and will get my degree in software engineering. That's another shock for some people to hear. "Engineering? You don't seem like the type of girl to be studying that! What do you want to do exactly?" I guess the idea most people have when they see me is some sort of journalism or liberal arts degree. They see a blonde haired, brown eyed, sorority girl. To be fair I was in a sorority; that was until we got suspended. Typical hazing scandal, but I'm still great friends with most of the girls.

It's already hot enough here in Reno that I can't imagine how much hotter it will be back home. My dad just bought a house in a newer area in the suburbs of Las Vegas and is very much looking forward to my return. I don't favor one parent over the other but in his eyes, I'm daddy's little girl and my mom is just a manipulative influence on poor money saving habits. Anytime I come home with a new item of clothing it's the same speech, "Parker, you keep buying all this shit and you're gonna turn into your mom and have a pile of debt. Just watch." They've been divorced for longer than I can remember but I'm living with him since all my friends live there too; and since my mom moved to Chicago with her new husband Chris. Chris is not my mom's usual type. Chris golfs every other day, wears polo t-shirts and cargo shorts but I respect him for still opening her car door after six years of marriage.

Reno wasn't so much a choice for school but rather an easier burden on my dad's wallet. After three years, I don't have many complaints apart from a lot of my friends being older and already graduated, most living back home. Which brings me to now, packing up my car to have my first summer back in the scorching Las Vegas heat.

My boyfriend Sean is playing with a soccer ball sitting around in the garage while I do all the heavy lifting and packing up the Kia. He's always willing to help me when I need it but sure likes to take his sweet time and goof off in between; a habit which stirs my frustration and impatience. "Do you mind knocking that off to help get the last two bins out of my room?" I snap. After three years of dating, I tend to lose all sense of patience with him, especially when I'm trying to get things done. I could just be a bitch. Or he could just be really fucking annoying sometimes.

I'm living with three of my friends that I met while in the sorority and it hasn't been as dramatic and chaotic as I anticipated it being. Compared to living in the sorority house, it feels like living in a library. No one's yelling from the shower stalls for shampoo or blasting music in the bathroom 24/7 getting ready to go out. My roommates are all staying here in Reno for the summer so luckily, I don't have to move big furniture to a new house. It'll just sit and collect dust I suppose.

Sean and I just celebrated our three-year anniversary a few weeks ago in March and like most relationships I've seen in college, it's been a nail biter. It seems only normal to break up and get back together, break up and get back together. I constantly have to deal with his obnoxious and irrational behavior, and he has to deal with my irritation and annoyance when he does. I'm just as guilty of this dysfunctionality as he is yet I can't seem to grasp what life would be like without him. He is the only serious relationship I've had, and it feels so comfortable at this point. Plus, it's refreshing to be able to have as much sex as we want knowing we're both STD free; which is apparently harder to come by nowadays. Besides that, Sean is nice to stare at sometimes. He works out like most frat guys, has nice dark hair, nice green eyes and a nice smile.

He just graduated and plans to move to Nashville within a few month's, but I have no desire to follow him and he has no desire to follow me. So as summer draws closer, long distance is the topic of discussion. I should mention that a few of our break ups were because of me and my constant confusion. I'm always so hot and cold about how I really feel about him. I do love him, but is love always so frustrating and hard? I used to make up excuses and say that I needed to "find myself" and, "life is too short, we're only in college" but he took it like a man. And then shortly later would take me back. It wasn't until the realization of being in two different cities that maybe I'd finally cut the cord for good.

My car was finally packed up and I'm heading out in the morning. Since I still had my furniture and bed at our house, Sean stayed over. Much like many occasions of knowing we wouldn't see each other for a while, we had sex. When he isn't being a typical frat guy, Sean is romantic and always in the moment, but sex with him just feels like a fun exercise to me. It's fun and I enjoy it but the fact that I need to be up at six tomorrow doesn't exactly get me hot and bothered. I find energy anyway.

We're watching a movie on my laptop in my bed when he turns his body to be halfway on top of mine and we start to kiss. I close the laptop and put it on my nightstand.

After we finish, I head to the bathroom to freshen up before bed and come back to my room with my toothbrush in my mouth. Sean turns his attention from the reopened laptop to me and, like a jackass, says, "You gonna miss that baby?" He has a big smirk on his face and I can't help but giggle; toothpaste falls onto my shirt.

"Oh, you know it, stud," I say with a mouth full of toothpaste, rolling my eyes.

I go back to the bathroom to rinse, come back to my room, and kiss Sean good night. He's already in bed with no blankets on him; I swear his body produces more heat than the sun. I close my laptop and place it on the floor, get under the covers, and shut my eyes.

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