𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 🌑

chapter eighteen

"How was your date?" Chris asks as he leans against the doorframe. His tone is sarcastic, but his eyes dance with amusement. "Did you have fun with your new toy?"

"Fuck you." Shea snaps, trying to hide her smile. "He's not a toy." She climbs off the bed, feeling a rush of heat in her cheeks. "And I don't appreciate you talking about him like that."

"Who fucking cares?" He asks, shrugging. "It's not like you're dating him or anything."

"I fucking care! Let you have a girlfriend and I go around talking shit about her, you'd be writing paragraphs on instagram!" Shea hisses, crossing her arms over her chest. "And I don't need your approval, anyway. So, why don't you just butt the fuck out?"

"Bedause you're the mother of my son! You're supposed to be taking care of your child, not fucking around with some random guy!" Chris yells, his voice rising.

"I can do whatever I want! We're not together anymore, remember?" Shea shouts back, her chest tight with anger and hurt.

"You're so fucking dumb." Chris sighs, rubbing his face. "You're playing with fire, Shea." He shakes his head, turning away from her.

"Yeah, I am so fucking dumb, aren't I? Obviously I am, because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be standing here with you right now. I would've never given my literal innocence to you! But I did, because I'm so fucking stupid!" Shea screams. "I wish I could take it back!"

He turns back to face her, his expression softening. "You know you don't mean that."

"I do fucking mean that! You're too caught up on your fucking ex to care! And none of them want you! And Jasmine doesn't fucking count cause she's a fucking whore who fucked you and my brother at the same time." Shea spits out, tears streaming down her face. "So fuck you, Chris. Just fuck you."
He's taken aback by her words, his expression hardening again. "Says the girl who went back and fucked the man who beat the shit out of her?" he counters, anger clouding his features. "You're pathetic, Shea."
Shea narrows her eyes. "And I can say the exact same thing about one of your exes, huh? After YOU beat the shit out of her, right?" She says, poking the air between them. "But that's okay, because you're the victim here. Fuck you, Chris. You can take your judgment and shove it up your ass."
He steps closer to her, his face mere inches from hers. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" His voice is low and dangerous. "You're playing with fire, and one of these days, you're going to get burned."
"Are you fucking threatening me?" Shea demands, her heart racing. "You fucking piece of shit, if you ever lay a hand on me or my baby again, I swear to God, I will fucking kill you."
"Lay a hand on you? Again? Is that what you fucking tell people I did to you?" He sneers, his voice dripping with disgust. "Fuck you, Shea. You're pathetic, and you're going to end up just like your mom. A broken, sad little mess."
Shea slaps him hard across the face, feeling a rush of adrenaline at the contact. "You're a fucking asshole!" she shouts, tears streaming down her face. "I'm not my mom, and I'm not going to end up like her! And I'm not going to let you or anyone else treat me like shit!"
He clenches his jaw, rubbing his stinging cheek. "You're a piece of work, you know that?" he growls. "You're just as bad as she was. Maybe worse."
"Fucking do something about it, pussy." Shea spits. "Go find another woman to talk shit about me to. I'm done with this." She turns her back on him, walking away.
"Shea -- do not walk away from me!" he shouts after her, grabbing her arm.
"Let go of me!" she yells, twisting out of his grip. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore!" She glares at him over her shoulder. "You don't get to touch me, you don't get to talk to me, you don't get to see me! I don't want anything to do with you! You don't fucking get to decide when I'm happy and when I'm not!"
He watches her walk away, feeling a stab of pain in his chest. "Fine," he mutters. "Have it your way." He turns around, walking away himself, his shoulders slumped.
He hears her sobbing as he walks down the hall, and for a moment, he wants to go back and comfort her.
He fights with himself for a few seconds, then finally turns back around, jogging to catch up with her. Instead of saying anything, he just wraps his arms around her.
She fights it at first, shoving him away, but eventually, her own exhaustion and overwhelming emotions win out, and she collapses into his embrace, her body shaking with silent sobs. She brokenly whispers, "I'm sorry."
He just holds her, his own heart aching as he strokes her hair. "It's okay, baby. It's okay." He lies, but at least it's something. "I'm sorry too."
He kisses her cheek ... then lower and kisses her lips. She responds, wrapping her arms around him, and they stand there for a moment, lost in the comfort of each other's arms. But they both know it's only temporary.
She doesn't kiss him back, but she doesn't pull away either. He can feel her hesitation. Maybe there's still hope. He locks the door behind them and leans her against it, his hands on either side of her head. "I'm sorry I said those things," he whispers. "I didn't mean them. I love you, Shea. I always will."
Her hands grip the sides of his jacket, her eyes searching his face. "Why do you always have to say those things?" she whispers, her voice raw from crying. "Why can't you just be nice to me?"
His heart breaks a little more. "I don't know," he says honestly. "I'm just tired of everyone thinking I'm the bad guy. I'm tired of feeling like I have to fight for you." He looks down, feeling a lump in his throat.
He kisses her lips again, tenderly this time, and she responds, melting into him.
He turns her around to face the door, pressing her against it as he reaches up her skirt, feeling the heat of her body through her panties, tugging at his desire. He kisses her neck, her shoulder, as his fingers find their way inside.
A lone tear falls from her eye as she arches into his touch, her body responding to his touch, needing him. They lose themselves in each other, finding solace in the only way they know how.
Before she knows it, she's naked from the waist down and his head is in between her legs, his tongue expertly lapping at her folds. Her back arches off the bed as she moans his name, her fingers tangling in his hair. She feels so close, so wanted, so loved in this moment that it almost brings her to tears again.
Her free hand grips the pillow under her head as she gasps out his name, feeling the familiar tightening in her core.
She feels the wave of pleasure coursing through her body, her muscles tensing, her eyes squeezing shut. "Oh fuck..."
His hands grips her thighs, holding her open to him as he laps at her, sucking and kissing until she's writhing beneath him.
He feels her body begin to shudder, the tightness in her core giving way to release, and with a growl, he pushes his tongue deeper, feeling her come undone on his tongue.
He continues to lap at her, relishing in the taste of her as she cries out his name over and over again. "Oh God, Chris..." she whimpers.
She comes, her body shuddering with the release, his name on her lips as she comes apart in his arms.
He swallows her sweet essence, his hands gripping her thighs, not wanting to let her go. He looks up at her, their eyes meeting, and feels a wave of possessiveness wash over him.
Her eyes flutter closed, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she tries to catch her breath. "I..." she starts, but can't find the words. "I need..." she trails off, reaching for him.
He stands, helping her to her feet. He pulls off his shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs, before reaching down and unbuckling his belt, letting his pants fall to the floor. He steps out of them and kicks them aside, standing before her completely naked. "Turn over," he demands, his voice husky with need. "I want to feel you around me."
Shea flips over on all fours, her bottom in the air, presenting herself to him. He can feel her wetness on her lower lips, beckoning him to her. With a growl, he positions himself at her entrance and thrusts inside her, feeling her tightness envelop him. "God, you feel so good," he groans, his hips beginning to move, the rhythm of their lovemaking growing faster.
Shea moans, nails digging into the sheets as she feels him fill her up. "Chris..." she whimpers, arching her back, wanting more. "Don't stop..." He pushes deeper, harder, and she meets his movements with equal force, their bodies moving together in a frenzy of desire.
She glances back at him over her shoulder, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before she looks away, biting her lip.
He grips her hips tightly, digging deep inside her, feeling her muscles contract around him.
His thrusts become jerkier, more desperate as he fights to hold back, wanting to make this last for her. "Shea..." he groans, his body tensing.
He pulls her up so her back is against his chest, his arms wrapping around her neck, holding her close as he fucks her from behind. His hips buck wildly, driving himself deeper inside her, feeling her wet heat envelop him.
He keeps his eyes on hers as she tilts her head back, letting out a long, shuddering moan. Her nails dig into his chest, leaving marks as she holds on tight, her body tensing beneath his. "I'm close, baby," he rasps, his voice strained. "I'm close."
"Cum with me," she whispers, arching her back, urging him. "Please..."
He feels the wave of pleasure crash over him, his body tensing, his hips jerking violently as he empties himself into her. "Fuck..." he groans, still buried deep inside her.
She follows him over the edge, her body tensing and spasming around him, her moans filling the room as they both collapse onto the bed, spent.
He pulls her close, nestling her head against his chest, running his fingers through her damp hair. "You feel so good," he whispers, kissing the top of her head. "You make it impossible to think about anything else."
It feels like hours before they stir, their bodies still joined, his softening length still buried deep inside her. Shea feels a blush creep up her neck and across her cheeks as she realizes what they've just done.
He kisses her neck gently, his lips lingering on her skin. "I know we shouldn't have done this, but I don't regret a second of it." He looks down at her, his eyes searching hers. "I just wish I could do it with you, without the whole world watching."
Whatever that means, she thinks, but doesn't want to ask. Instead, she curls closer to him, pressing her body against his. "I know," she whispers. "Me too."
⏯️
Shea watches as Roman rolls onto his belly, giggling as he flails his little arms and legs. She reaches over, gently tickling his side, eliciting another squeal of laughter. "Oh, you're such a cutie!" she coos, gazing down at her son. Chris smiles from where he's sitting on the bed, looking at them both.
Roman squeals with delight as they continue to tickle him, his tiny body writhing in amusement. Chris's heart swells watching the two of them together, feeling a sense of pride and protectiveness well up inside him. In that moment, nothing else seems to matter.
He smiles at Shea, wanting to tell her how he really feels about her, but the words get caught in his throat. It's not the right time, he thinks. Not yet. They need to focus on raising Roman and making sure they can provide for him. But he knows that deep down, there's something more between them. Something that goes beyond friendship and duty.
Roman glances up at his dad, a look of pure adoration on his face. Chris returns the gaze, feeling a lump form in his throat as he realizes that this little boy is their world. For better or worse, they're in this together.
But as he remembered that there was another man who Shea was entertaining, he immediately grew angry again. What was he going to do? How was he supposed to compete with a memory like that?
And then he realized -- maybe all he needed to do was push her over the edge enough. Something that wouldn't make her be with any man except for him. Something that would make her want him like she's never wanted anyone before. And then, he would show her that they could have a life together, a real family, without all the trappings of fame and fortune. Just the two of them.
"Baby? Do you wanna take a trip to Las Vegas? Just us ... as friends? For old times sake." He smiles at her, his heart racing in anticipation of her answer. Maybe this was his chance to make things right.
"I dunno..." Shea trails off, biting her lip. "It's kind of crazy, you know? With everything going on..." She glances down at Roman, who is still squealing with delight from their tickle attack.
"Please, baby. Please." Chris can't hide the desperation in his voice. "I need this. I need you. I need us. Just for a little while. Please say yes." He reaches out, taking her hand in his, looking deep into her eyes, searching for any sign of hope.
As she looks into her eyes, something feels off about this. Something feels... wrong. She can't quite put her finger on it. But she trusts him enough to go to another place with him -- like Las Vegas.
"Okay... who's gonna watch Roman?" Shea asks, her heart beating a little faster at the thought of spending some quality time with Chris, away from the paparazzi and the constant reminders of their past.
"My mom, or your mom. Who cares. I just wanna ... get away with you." Chris looks at her, his eyes filled with love and longing, and for a moment, she forgets everything else. All that matters is him and their little boy. "Please, Shea. Let's go."
"Okay. Okay, but we're not fucking or anything. Okay?" Shea looks at him, her expression serious. "I mean, we can just hang out, like friends. Okay?"
"Okay." Chris nods, relieved. "Whatever you want, babe. Just you and me." He leans in, kissing her gently on the lips. "I love you, Shea. You know that."
"You can't kiss me like that anymore." She pulls away, smiling softly. "You can't kiss me like you're in love with me, because you're not." She looks down at her ring finger, where the birthstone ring still sits.
"I am, baby--really. I am." Chris insists, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly. "We'll figure this out, Shea. We will." He looks at her, his eyes pleading with her to believe him. "I promise."
Roman's burp startles them both before he begins giggling again. "I think he liked that milk." Shea laughs, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
🔒
While in Las Vegas, they stay at a luxurious hotel, away from the paparazzi. They spend their days walking along the Strip, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company. Roman is entertained by the sights and sounds of the city, and Shea and Chris find themselves falling into a comfortable rhythm.
"What age do you consider too young for a girl? Like -- that you would be with? I mean ... I was only 18 when we met." Shea glances over at Chris, biting her lip. "Do you think that's too young?"
"I mean, I dated you. So, nah. Well, it is. I wouldn't do that shit again." He smirks, squeezing her hand. "I don't know, baby. I just wanna make sure you're happy. That's all." They continue walking, lost in their thoughts.
"Why did you make an exception for me then?" She asks, genuinely curious. "Why me?"
"I had a feeling I should let you prove yourself." He smiles, looking into her eyes. "And you did. You've always been the one -- how about you? Would you date a man a decade older than you again?"
"Just you." Shea smiles back, squeezing his hand. "You know, I'm glad you met me. I'm glad we had Roman. I wouldn't trade it for anything."
"Yeah?" He tilts his head, gazing at her. "You really mean that?" There's a hesitation in his voice, a tiny thread of hope. "Even with...?" He trails off, gesturing around them. "All this?"
"Yeah... thank you for giving me our baby." She looks at him, feeling a surge of love for him. "He's my best thing, Chris. And I don't know what I'd do without him." She takes a deep breath, trying to find the words to say what she really wants to. "I love you, you know. I always have."
He takes another step closer, his eyes searching hers. "I love you too, Shea. More than anything." He reaches up, cupping her face in his hands. "Always have."
"...Even if we weren't together?" she whispers, her heart beating fast. "Even if I was with someone else?"
He hesitates, because he knows he does not want to answer honestly. But he can't lie to her. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I'd be hurt, baby. I'd be really fucking hurt. But I'd... I'd want you to be happy."
"You're lying, aren't you?" she says, her voice barely audible. "You'd want me to be with you."
"Yeah..." he admits, his grip loosening on her face. "But I'd want you to be happy. And if that meant being with someone else, then... then I'd have to accept it." He shakes his head, hating the words as they come out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, baby. I don't mean to hurt you."
His hand grips her thigh, squeezing tightly, as if trying to hold onto her. She looks away, her eyes filling with tears. "I just want you to know that no matter what, I'll always be here for you. I'll always love you."
"We can be friends ..." He pecks her lips gently. "...if that's what you want." His heart breaks a little as he says the words, feeling the weight of their truth. "I'll always be there for Roman. And I'll always care about you. I'll just... I'll just love you from afar, okay?"
Shea smashes her lips against his, her tears falling freely. "No," she whispers, pulling away slightly. "I can't do that. I can't have you in my life, and then see you with someone else. It would kill me." She shakes her head, wiping away her tears. "We either need to figure this out, or we need to go our separate ways."
"Is that what you want? Or are you just horny?" He smirks, trying to make her laugh. "Because I could totally be your fuck buddy. You know, if you need it." He kisses her again, softly, tentatively. "Just don't ever marry anyone else. Okay?"
"I don't wanna be your fuck buddy. I wanna be your wife, who you fuck." She says, and then laughs through her tears, giving him an innocent smile.
He grins, his heart lighter. "Well, let's give it some time, then. See how we feel in a few months." His hand finds its way to her breast, cupping it through her shirt. "And in the meantime, we'll just have to see what happens." He kisses her again, deeper this time, their bodies pressed together. "Because I can't promise anything."
She teasingly grips his bulge before letting go and walking ahead of him. "I'm not making any promises either." She looks back over her shoulder, a mischievous glint in her eye. "But you never know what might happen."
He shakes his head, smiling as he follows her. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Once back in their hotel suite, they spent time playing UNO and laughing their asses off. Shea's mom had to come in and remind them that it was getting late, but they kept going anyway. After all, it had been a long time since they had just been able to be together like this. And as much as it hurt, it felt good too.
She took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to make her move. "So," she began, her voice a little shaky. "Do you wanna come downstairs with me and ... have dinner? This hotel is pretty well known for their steak, and I've been craving one all day." Her eyes flickered to his lips, hoping for a positive response.
He smiled, his gaze locked on hers. "I'd love to come down with you, Shea. Some steak sounds amazing right now." He paused, leaning in closer as he brushed a stray hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek.
Shea giggled a bit, feeling her cheeks flush at his touch. "Alright then. Let's go get some food." She stood up, taking his hand and leading him toward the door. The anticipation of what might happen over dinner was building inside her, and she couldn't wait to see where the night would take them.
By the time it was 11:36 PM, Shea already had about 7 shots of whiskey in her system. She had never been much of a drinker, but tonight she was feeling bold and reckless. She couldn't help but wonder if Chris would notice her growing intoxication. Her voice was slurred slightly from all the alcohol she'd consumed.
Her mind was hazy as she made her way back to the hotel room, Chris's arm looped around her waist, guiding her through the crowd. She leaned heavily against him, her head spinning. She felt his strong, warm hand gently caress her lower back, and it sent a shiver down her spine. She hadn't expected him to be so touchy-feely, but she didn't mind it at all. In fact, it made her feel even more connected to him.
When they finally made it back to the room, Shea practically collapsed onto the bed, her limbs feeling like jelly. She felt Chris's weight press down on the mattress beside her, and she could hear the sound of his breathing as he lay there, staring up at the ceiling. The room was quiet, save for the faint sounds of music drifting up from the streets below.
She reached out, running her fingers through his hair, feeling the softness of it beneath her touch. "You're so soft," she mumbled, her words slurring slightly. "I like it." He didn't respond, but she could feel his body tense slightly beneath her touch. She leaned in closer, her lips brushing against his ear. "I really like it," she breathed, her voice barely audible.
He still didn't respond, but she could feel his heart racing beneath her hand. A thrill ran through her, and she knew she had to take things further. She moved her hand down, gently cupping his crotch through his pants, feeling him grow instantly hard. "Yayyyy..." she giggled drunkenly. "You like that, don't you?"
He let out a shuddering breath, his body tensing further beneath her touch. "Shea..." he murmured, his voice thick with desire. She grinned, leaning in to kiss him, their lips meeting in a messy, drunken embrace.
Her hand moved up and down on his hardness, and she could feel him grow even bigger in her grasp. "God, you feel so good," she moaned into his mouth. "I've missed this."
He groaned, his hands finding their way under her shirt, touching her bare skin.
But she's so drunk and fucked up, that she can't even keep what she's doing, going. Her movements are sloppy and clumsy. She pulls back, breathing heavily, her gaze unfocused. "I'm so sloppy tonight..." she mumbles, her words slurring even more. "Sorry."
Her free hand moved to his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through his jacket. She moved to unzip it, but her fingers were clumsy and uncoordinated from the alcohol. "Ugh," she groaned, "I can't do this." She looked up at him, her eyes half-lidded with desire. "Help me undress you."
He hesitated for a moment, then slowly sat up, turning to face her. His gaze met hers, and she could see the desire in his eyes mirroring her own. "Okay," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. Their lips met in a tentative, gentle kiss that quickly deepened as they explored each other's mouths.
She desperately kissed him back, her hands fumbling with his buttons and zippers.
She broke the kiss to breathe, her lips already swollen from their passionate exchange.
His hand wrapped around her neck, gently guiding her back to him as he helped her undress him, removing his shirt. She gasped at the sight of his chest, his muscles flexing beneath her touch. "Fuck, Shea..." he groaned, closing his eyes as she continued to touch him. "You're driving me crazy."
"You're the one with a hand on my throat." She giggled, her words slurred. "But I like it." She leaned in, kissing his chest, her tongue darting out to taste his skin.
He lifted her top over her head, revealing her bra to him. His eyes widened, and he leaned in closer, kissing her neck. "I've missed these," he murmured before moving his lips to her breast, sucking hard on her nipple, thankful that she doesn't have a bra on under her shirt. "God, you're so fucking hot."
Shea can't even focus on what he's saying, she's so lost in the pleasure of his touch. She arches her back, moaning loudly as he sucks on her nipple. "Baby..." she slurs, her hand fumbling with his belt.
He turned his head slightly, his lips finding hers in the darkness. Their kiss was soft and gentle at first, but quickly deepened as they explored each other's mouths. Their hands roamed over each other's bodies, seeking out and finding new places to touch, to caress. The alcohol made everything seem heightened, more intense, and she could feel herself responding to him in ways she never had before.
As their passionate embrace continued, Shea could feel Chris's erection pressing against her leg. Despite her seemingly being into "it" at this point, she felt a twinge of guilt. "Wait," she gasped, pulling back slightly. "I'm not... I mean, we don't have to... I'm just kinda drunk, you know?" Her words were slurred and incoherent, but she was hoping he would understand. "Right?"
Either he didn't hear her, or he ignored her, because Chris didn't say anything in response. Instead, he moved his hand down between their bodies, finding her panties already wet with arousal.
"Babe ... wait." She tried to protest again, but he covered her mouth with his free hand, silencing her. "You're so beautiful when you're drunk," he whispered, his fingers slipping beneath the fabric of her panties, finding her already wet and ready. "And you're so wet for me." He groaned, his fingers moving faster, parting her folds, searching for her clit. "You want this, don't you?"
She feels so weak in his arms, from the alcohol and the desire coursing through her veins. But her hips make no indication of protest nor hesitation as he touches her, his fingers finding her clit and rubbing circles around it.
She tries to speak but he presses his hand firmly down against her mouth, silencing her, and she feels a shiver of pleasure run through her at the domination.
"For once, you're gonna shut the fuck up." His voice is gruff, commanding. "And you're gonna let me do whatever I want. Understood?" His fingers never stop moving, never cease their friction against her. "Say it."
She can't say anything as her eyes widen with surprise and pleasure. She nods, but her head lolls to the side, making the movement barely noticeable. "Understood," she breathes out, her hips grinding against his hand.
But before she could say anything else, Chris rolled her onto her back, straddling her hips as he leaned in to kiss her again.
Her hands press against his chest, as a way to tell him to stop but he pushes them away and holds them above her head with one hand.
His hands roughly ripped her panties, tossing it aside. Her hands pressed against his chest in a way to tell him to "stop" again, but once again, he either ignored it or was too caught up in the moment to notice.
"Wait..." she slurs, "I mean... I mean..." but her words are cut off as he thrusts his hips forward, pushing his bare, hard length against her wet folds. She gasps in pain and pleasure, her body arching upwards as he slowly begins to slide in and out of her.
He holds her legs apart, biting his lip as he watches himself sink deeper and deeper inside of her. "Fuck..." he groans, his hips moving faster and faster. "You're so fucking tight..."
Shea let out a gasp, feeling both pain and pleasure course through her as he began to move, his hips pounding into hers in a rhythm that was both aggressive and familiar.
She couldn't even move -- her body limp, heavy, as he took her like he owned her. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of being violated, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of arousal mixed in with the discomfort. As he continued to thrust into her, she couldn't help but wonder if this was really what she wanted, or if she had just been too drunk to know any better.
She tries to close her legs, to push him away, but he's too strong for her. His weight is pressing down on her, holding her immobile as he takes her over and over again.
Her head spins, her body aches, but somehow, the pain only seems to add to the pleasure. She bites down on her lip, trying to keep herself from crying out as he hits her sweet spot over and over again, his movements growing rougher with each thrust.
Her hands gripped the sheet beneath her, digging her nails into the fabric as she tried to hold on. The pain was intense, but it only seemed to make her want it more. She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything else as she focused on the sensation of his body moving against hers, the weight of his breath on her neck.
"Ah!" she cried out, her body tensing as she reached up, her hand slapping his face roughly. But then she instantly felt bad and kissed the spot where her hand had hit him, apologizing between breaths. "I'm sorry... I don't... I don't..." she managed to say, her words slurred and incoherent.
"Shhh..." Chris murmured, his voice soft and reassuring. He leaned in to kiss her, his lips gentle and tender as they moved against hers. He continued to thrust into her, slowly and methodically, his hips rocking against hers in a rhythm that felt almost soothing.
She whimpered, feeling all over the place. She wanted to tell him to stop, to slow down, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud. She just lay there, her body responding to his movements, her heart racing in her chest.
She manages to flip over and he slides out of her, watching as she squirms her way up to the top of the bed, away from him. Her hands cover her face as she tries to catch her breath, to block out the feelings of shame and guilt that are starting to creep in. Her body is sore and overwhelmed, but she can't help but feel like she's been violated.
He hovers over her, his gaze intense as he looks down at her. "You can take it." He growls, his voice thick with desire. "I know you can take it." And with that, he thrusts back into her, his hips moving in a powerful rhythm that has her crying out in pleasure and pain.
Chris groaned, his hips moving faster as he neared his climax. His thrusts became deeper, harder, and she could feel the tension building in his body. She arched her back, meeting his movements with her own, their skin slapping together in a rhythm that was both primal and erotic.
Was he even drunk? Maybe that's why he didn't understand her earlier. He was probably too drunk to realize what he was doing. Maybe... maybe she should try to stop this. But she didn't want to hurt him, and she didn't want him to be angry. She didn't know what to do. All she could do was lie there and take it, hoping that it would be over soon.
He hovered above her, leaning down to nip at her neck as he continued to thrust, his hips moving with a steady, powerful rhythm. She could feel his hot breath on her skin, could feel the weight of his body pressing down on hers. She tried to wriggle away, but it was no use. He was too strong, too determined.
"... I can't ..." she managed to gasp between breaths. "Please..." that word didn't help at all. He didn't seem to hear her. Or maybe he just didn't care. It was all a blur, a haze of pain and pleasure and confusion. She wished she could just close her eyes and forget about everything, but she couldn't. She had to live through this.
She let out a strained moan as he pushed deeper inside her, feeling him hit a certain spot that made her entire body tremble.
"It's so ... big..." she managed to whisper, her voice barely audible even to her own ears. "It hurts..." She didn't know why she was saying this. She shouldn't have. But it felt like she needed to explain herself somehow.
"You like it," he growled, his voice thick with lust. "You like how it feels." He thrust harder, his hips moving faster, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he neared his climax. "Tell me you like it," he demanded, his eyes burning into hers.
"Too deep ..." she whimpered, arching her back as he pushed deeper still.
"Nothing is ever too deep for you," he hissed, his words sending a shiver down her spine. "You were made for this." And with that, he plunged into her again, his hips slamming against hers.
His grip on her tightened, his breath hot against her ear. "That's it," he growled, his voice low and rough. "Let go, baby."
He had his arms wrapped around her tightly as he thrusted into her, his hips pounding against hers in a relentless rhythm. She could feel the tension building within him, could feel his body tensing as he neared climax. She closed her eyes, trying to brace herself for what was coming, feeling a shudder run through her as she realized that she was still so very drunk.
He was so deep inside her, and she was so very helpless. She couldn't believe this was happening. But she could feel it, deep inside her. He was close, so close.
Through blurry vision, she watched his face contort as he let out a hoarse cry, his body tense as he finally releases himself inside her. She felt the warmth of his seed spill into her, filling her up completely. For a moment, she thought he was done, but then he continued to move, his hips still pounding against hers as he emptied himself completely.
All she remembers is clenching down around him -- hard as she could -- and feeling him explode inside her. His body tensed, and she could feel him pulsing, filling her up with his seed. She closed her eyes, feeling exhausted, feeling used as she came, her body shuddering with the force of her release.
Finally, finally, it was over.
"You have the most amazing pussy," he panted, collapsing on top of her. She didn't know what to say, didn't know how to feel. All she knew was that she wanted him off of her. "God, that was incredible." He rolled to the side, giving her a satiated smile. "I'm going to remember that for a long time." She stared at the ceiling, feeling the weight of his words pressing down on her. She wanted to crawl out of her own skin.
All she remembered is feeling him press his body down against hers as her head lolled to the side. His breath was hot against her neck, and she could feel his erection begin to soften inside her. She tried to catch her breath, to calm her racing heart, but it was no use. She was still lying there, his weight pressing down on her, and she couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear, of guilt.
It's normal, isn't it? She has sex with him all the time, doesn't she? It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't feel like this. But it did. It felt wrong. Wrong and dirty and shameful. She wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear, wanted to forget that any of this had ever happened.
Next thing she knew, he was pulling her off the bed and onto her knees, both of his hands gripping her by the hair on either side of her face. He pushed his hips up to her mouth, his erection poking her chin -- but she turned her head, which was quickly halted when he forced it back, holding it in place with his hand.
"Mmm mmmm." she hummed, trying to shake her head. "I can't..."
"Shhh." he whispered. "Just take it." And with that, he thrust forward, forcing his cock into her mouth. She gagged, her eyes watering as she tried to pull back, but he held her tightly in place, forcing her to take every inch of him.
She gagged again, feeling like she was going to throw up, but he seemed to like it, his hips thrusting harder, faster, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he fucked her face. She tried to pull away again, but he only held her tighter, his grip like a vise around her head.
Her hazy eyes met his and he threw his head back, his mouth open in a silent scream as he came, filling her mouth with his seed. She couldn't believe it was happening, couldn't believe how completely powerless she felt in that moment. But she knew it was over when he finally let her go, his cock slipping from her mouth and falling to the side, spent.
He moaned softly, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. "Good girl." he whispered, his voice laced with satisfaction. "That's a good girl."
She coughed, the taste of his cum still in her mouth, and felt a shiver run down her spine. She wanted nothing more than to be done with this, to forget it ever happened, but she knew that wasn't going to be easy. The memory of his touch, of his weight on her, would linger for far longer than she would have liked.
She gagged, disgusted as she wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. "Can I go now?" she managed to choke out, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Please?"
His half lidded eyes met hers, and for a moment she thought he looked almost regretful. But then he shrugged, seeming to brush off his earlier brutality. "Sure, babe. Go ahead." He gestured to the door and she stumbled over to it, her legs still shaking from the ordeal.
But before she could even reach the door, she stumbled and almost fell, making him grab onto her and lay her back down on the bed.
"No ... more ... no more ..." she whined, tears streaming down her face as she tried to push him away.
"Shhhhh. No more." He smoothed his hand over her hair, his expression softening.
A tear slipped from her eye as she fell unconscious, her body giving in to the exhaustion and the pain and the confusion. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what had just happened, and she didn't know how to make it all go away. All she could do was close her eyes and let the darkness take her.
He watched her for a moment, her features softening in sleep, before finally turning away. The events of the night swirled around in his mind, and for the first time, he began to feel a twinge of guilt. But he pushed it aside, telling himself that it was just a game, that she knew what she was getting into.
He laid beside her, drifting to sleep, her scent filling his nose and her warmth enveloping him. He knew that tomorrow would be another day, and that they'd both have to play their parts. But for now, in this moment, he was content to pretend that they were just two people, tangled in each other's arms, finding solace in the darkness.
Some point in the middle of the night, he had her on all fours, his hand on her back, fingers digging into her flesh as he roughly pounded into her. It was like he couldn't control himself, like he had to hurt her, make her his. He felt her body tense and then relax, and with each thrust, he felt a little more in control, a little more like he was regaining some semblance of who he used to be.
She just laid there, taking it as her body jerked with each impact, tears streaming down her face. He was so rough, so brutal, and she couldn't understand why he hated her so much. She wanted to scream, to fight back, but she was so weak, so tired from the night's events. All she could do was endure.
"Do you like that, babe?" he growled, his breath hot against her neck. "Do you like how it feels when I fuck you?" He didn't wait for an answer, just kept thrusting, harder and faster. She whimpered, her body feeling like it was being torn apart, but still, she didn't fight him. She just let him take her, let him have his way.