Hoshi - Anxiety

414 7 0
                                    


Hoshi POV

We are set to release our new album very soon but I'm very nervous about it it's my first time after our debut being nervous about releasing a new album, everytime I think of positive things like how Carats support and stream our songs everytime but right now I'm only thinking of negative things like "what if I mess up on stage and embarrass the group, I can't do that I've been an idol for 8 years, I have to be professional and not make a mistake it could affect my reputation seriously. I thought only about negative things like this.

This album was actually very hard to sing and dance to, the choreography is very hard we sweat so much even though we only dance it once, I made the choreography but what if people don't like it what of they blame me for ruining the song, these thoughts consumed my head, this is a lot of stress which I can't handle but I should for the sake of the group,fans and my reputation, I can't let down my team, we all have worked really hard to make this album for our fans who deserve the best of best.

Today we had a performance for the new song and we had to give speeches, I was very nervous and stressed, what if I say something wrong, what if I make a mistake, I was thinking about these things and Jeonghan hyung noticed something was wrong ad asked me "Hoshi ya you seem nervous, what's wrong?" I replied " Nothing Hyung I'm just nervous about giving the speech and about the performance since it is the first performance for the new title track and I choreographed it so if I mess up or something it will look really bad".

He assured me that evrything will be fine and that I'm the performance leader for a reason and that I should believe in myself and I did gain some confidence but it wasn't enough and then it was finally my turn to speak, I got so nervous that I couldn't utter a word, oh lord I just became a dissapointment to the group why am I like this why can't I just go and give a normal speech without spoiling anything and I'm not even an introvert for god's sake, I looked at Jeonghan hyung and he whispered something to S.Coups hyung as he covered up my mistake telling that I was quite sick.

That might be true, I am sick why am I so nervous for giving a speech I've done this for 8 years, I should be good at it and be professional but I feel like a rookie idol that just debuted, what's wrong with me, I am so mad at myself right now, I started to wonder why I am so nervous and having a lot of bad thoughts recently, is it really just because the choreography is hard or is it because of stress.

Then I thought Hoshi ya pull yourself together you can do this.

It was time for our performance we entered as the fans started cheering for us and then immediately, I had new found confidence I thought I'm going to burn this stage up I'm the performance leader I will be the best and this going to be the best performance ever I am going to make it the best performance ever.

Then I went out there sang and danced my heart out and I felt so good the stress had faded away and I gave my best and all the fans cheered.

Then I gave a brilliant speech too, well guess I'm not anxious anymore never going to be either.

End of Hoshi's POV

Words - 626

This is quite short hope you liked it, I wanted to do something different today.

Thank you for 16.9k reads I'm really thankful

Love you guyssss baiiiii 💗💗💗💗💗

SEVENTEEN SICKFICSWhere stories live. Discover now