Sweet, sweet nightmare (Enmu Angst)

chapter 8

It was clear, that Enmu looks up to many persons, wishing to be harmed duo to his machomistmus. He crave for attention too, but he gets it. The only one's, willing to do his favour are filthy demons,but it's not the same. They can be thankfull, he don't kill them yet. Usually he train for it but right now, he improved his cooking skills. It was also clear that out of the many persons, he already imagines is futur with one. In his so called dreams, Nakime is kind, but she hates man. Her last husband was an ass for ruining it, but you can try and impress the person? So he tried improving his cookingskills. Perhabs she likes it, when a man does the things, woman meant to do without arguing helping her in the best case? He smilled at his idea, choping carrots. This one was just an attempt start. If it good, he eats it himself,to see how good he is already. He choped and on the same time daydreams about his futur. She is 4 years older, when he is still only 17, hopefully Nakime don't find him to inmature cause of his age,but why should he worry about it? If he makes everthing right, perhabs he has a chance, he thought till he missed the carrot and cut himself in the hand. "Gahh." He hissed, as he felt the sharp pain trough is body, moving his hand away from it, but somehow, it felt refreshing. This pain was something, he always wanna felt. He looks at the wound. It was a cut on his thumb, bleeding. Feeling the blood, combined with the pain feels good. His eyes went to the knife. There was some blood on it, logically. Enmu took it and looks around, befor hidding it and brings it in his room. He leaves and comes back with some band aids and bandaiges, befor closing his room, making sure, no one can distrub him. Today, it was a experience if it can feel always as good. He wonders rolled up his sleeves, looking at the knife and pointing it at his arm. If his theory was right, than he can give himself the feeling, he wished for, so he took a deep breathe and cut himself in his arm. He felt a refreshing feeling, as he felt the pain again and he can't help but smile. "Intresting. Thats really intresting. I don't need others to feel the pain i want." He mumbles facinated, as he cuts deeper. It hurts and he likes it. Just another cut, he said himself, creating another wound. Feeling the blood on his arm, as it dropped down to the ground. "Mhmm~ i can live with it." He puts the knife away, just looking at his wounds for a while. Smiling as he felt his body. Surprisingly, it felt like his body now. A rare feeling, wich let him wonder. "Alright last one today. I have to convince myself if it's really works as i imagine." He said, creating a third wound. His arm shaked and he bite his lip. He felt his pulse racing. The feeling was surely overwhelming. It was a great overall. He puts it away and treats his wounds with a band ait, covering it with his sleeves of his uniform. The only one, that was visible was the one on his thumb. "What a accident. I never thought it could be that easy without someone." Enmu said, hiding the knife and bandaige/aids under his pillow and wish the blood away. "Now, now, back to cooking." He said himself, smilling.