Lost Memories: Broken

Chapter 17: The Dark Lord Returns

It was the final day of the competition. I was in my room with Andrew, avoiding Severus. I went to see what he had left me and now here I was, thinking about what to do next. His memories had shown me that while he still loved Lily, he loved me. He truly loved me. They showed me that Severus was broken after Lily died and it was me who brought him back. I was able to teach him to love again and ultimately, I was the only one who had enough power over him to kill him. It was all because he loved me as much as I loved him.

But here I was in my bedroom and not with him. I didn't realize how dependent I was on him and it wasn't healthy anymore. I needed to be strong with or without him. We were in an upcoming war, people would die and I couldn't let myself fall apart like that forever. Sure, I had a right to cry and mope like every other human in this world but like them, I had an obligation to get back up and fight.

"I love him but I need to learn to live without him. I need to be myself again. I need to be able to support myself on my own," I told Andrew. But he seemed too caught up in his toys to notice me talking.

Then the knock came. Yes, I had invited Severus over to my room to talk.

"Come in!" I called.

I watched as he entered the room. He gave me some variation of a smile as he walked to my bed but refused to sit. I didn't ask him too.

"Severus, I want us to take a break," I whispered. He seemed like he was going to interrupt me so I cut him off. "Listen, I love you more than anything in this world and I want to be your wife, but I never stopped to realize how broken I actually am. I need to build myself up again. I want to be in a relationship because I'm ready, not because I'm scared to be alone."

"I trust that you are talking to me because you saw the memories?" He asked, now sitting on my bed.

"I did."

Severus nodded slowly as he touched Andrew's cheek softly. "Its a good thing that Demetrius brought him here ... Stacey, I understand. I needed to do the same thing when I lost Lily. Besides, Voldemort is coming back. We had to separate one time or the other."

I reached over to hold his hand tightly. The small motion of affection brought his eyes up to met mine once again. I smiled softly and said, "I still want to marry you. Just not so soon."

He bent over to kiss my cheek softly. "I love you too. And I don't mind waiting. I've waited these many years, what's a few more? I don't suppose I have a line of women waiting for me to be single either."

I laughed shaking my head. I was still his as he was mine. I sometimes felt like I didn't deserve a man as wonderful as him. In my mind, I was still his fiancee, we were just on hold.

"Thank you for understanding, Severus. But I still want us to spend the same amount of time together. I need you in my life. You get me," I added.

"I never thought of leaving you or Andrew for even a moment," Severus reassured. "So, I had a visitor last night."

I slowly released his hand as I raised my eyebrows teasingly. "I thought you didn't have a line of women."

He smirked at my playful comment and said, "It was Igor. He came barging in because the mark was burning."

A frown overcame my face as I watched him. I looked at his forearm and asked, "Does it still hurt now?"

"No. Just last night. He was absolutely petrified. Though he has every reason to be. As far as Voldemort is concerned Igor is a traitor. I suspect he will be the first one to die when he returns," He replied bitterly.

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

Severus stopped for a moment, watching me and then Andrew intently. He sighed, "Afraid of getting caught by him. Not for my safety but for yours and Andrew's. That's really all."