smiling critters

chapter 43 - cemetery

a few days later, Neil was putting on his shoes to go out with his dad. They were going to visit mom's grave today. He quickly ate a little something before heading out the door and walking to the graveyard and seeing his dad sitting on a bench holding a bouquet of irises and a crocheted dragon.

"Hey," he smiled and walked up to his dad as he stood up. They walked to mom's grave together making small talk before they got there.

'Hey mom," neil greeted as his dad placed the flowers down with the dragon.

"Hello grace," he smiled and briefly bowed his head as he sat down. Neil sat beside him and they talked about a wide range of topics. After a while, they both went silent for a while until his dad turned to him.

"Do you have any memoriesh ofv your moder?" he asked.

"Actually, kinda. Ever since we started meeting, i've been starting to get memories of her from before she died. Most of them were her in a hospital, but i always remember looking so happy."

"Dat's your moder for you, no matter de situation, she'd be smiling drough it all. I dere any memory dat particularly sticks out in you head?"

"Yea actually."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey werecat! How was your day so far?" mom asked as she pulled neil onto her bed and started rubbing his head, making him purr.

"It was good, godfrey took me to the playground and i got to play with a bunch of yokai!" the kitten cheered.

"Oh really? That sounds like fun."

"When are you gonna come some time?"
Mom got this sentimental look in her eyes as she scooted to the edge of her bed and weakly stood up and made her way over to the window and sat back down. Neil and her looked at the sun glowing on the ocean before she started talking.

"Y'know werecat, it'd be a miracle if i ever made it out of this room. And if that miracle ever comes, i promise, i will spend all the time i get outside of this place with you and you brother."

"But what if it doesn't?"

"Then i'll be off to that big ol' pond in the sky."

"Oh. do you know what it's like up there?"

"A little, i one saw a big meadow with a ton of flowers and a quaint little house in the middle of it all. I wanna go there so i can see you and godfrey thrive. If you ever feel lonely, just come talk to me, i'll be there to listen, werecat."

"But what if you're not? I don't want you to go away."

"I won't go away, i'll always be with you, werecat, no matter what."

"But godfrey said there's a big chance you're gonna die, i don't want you to die!" he cried as he hugged her.

"Werecat, a part of life is accepting death. It's not this big scary monster like in the books i read you, it's something that frees you from the ball and chain attached to your ankle that is life, you can still see all the people you love, and sure it hurts to see them hurting over you, but they can be comforted knowing you're still with them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And a little later, godfrey came to pick me up. I think that was a month or so before she passed, and i guess that conversation just kinda stuck with me even after i kinda forgot most of everything."

His dad stayed silent, as did neil. They sat with their thoughts until hi dad spoke up again.

"Neil, i am so sorry for taking so long to come back and see what godfrey wash doing. American newsh takesh a long time to reach belgium, if it does at all, and efven den it'sh usually americansh being well... strange. So de news was already pretty old when i found out about it. And dere are no wordsh dat can describe how truly sorry i am, i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and if you do, i promise i'll be more present in your lifve. De cards were alwaysh stacked against you boysh, you're broder was diagnosed wid an array of mental illnesses drough de course of his lifve, and belive me, your moder and i had tried our best to keep dem under control, but dat seemed to not work ash well as we doubt it did, and please do not take this ash me trying to excuse godfrey's actions, nor am i asking you so forgifve him. I love you bod dearly and it hurt when i learned about what he'd done, and i am sorry dat it took learning about the suffvering he'd put you drough to get me to come back."