I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing, the loud buzzing sound hurting my ears. I rub my eyes, trying to take some of the weariness out of them. I reach over to my night stand and pick up my phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen. There's no caller ID, but I think I have an idea of who it is. "Hey, I'm so glad you picked up the phone," it's Erika's voice. I remain silent, not in the mood to have a conversation with her. "I know you're there, listen, I'm at the door. Could you let me in? We really need to talk." I don't know whether to hang up and walk downstairs to knock her out, or continue to talk on the phone. Yes, I may be overreacting, but she knows that he is my ex. I make my decision to hang up the phone, I climb out of bed and walk downstairs to the front door. When I turn the knob and pull the door open, Erika is standing there with a smile on her face, acting as if nothing's wrong. "What do you want?" I ask. "I want us to be friends again, I'm really sorry, I just. I really like Thomas." Her smile becomes bigger, and I can already feel the tears burning in my eyes. Betrayal, sadness, anger, I can't manage to release any words from my mouth, I'm too busy trying to think of which feeling is worse. A tear rolls down my cheek, and Erika steps closer to me, holding her arms wide open. "Don't touch me," I push her away and slam the door in her face, leaving her on the porch. I rush upstairs to my room and jump onto my bed. I sob uncontrollably, unable to breathe through my cries. I lift my head from my pillow which is now drenched in tears, and climb off the bed. I cross the floor to my window, glancing outside at the morning light. I notice someone at Thomas's porch, knocking on the door impatiently. It's Erika. The door swings open from the inside, revealing Thomas. Erika steps inside, and shuts the door behind her. My sobs become worse, I can't steady my breathing, and I begin to feel dizzy. I look out the window, seeing my reflection in the glass. Tears run down my face, one after another. As I look at my reflection, I see someone in Thomas's room. No, not just someone, its Erika and Thomas. Thomas stands by the window when Erika walks up to him, resting her hand on his chest and presses her lips against his. I instantly look away, the pain in my chest becoming stronger by the second. The tears burn my eyes, everything hurts. It seems as if the world is in slow motion, replaying the scene over and over in the back of my mind. I still stand in the window, pressing my hands against the window pane to stay balanced. I lift my head up and see Thomas looking over into my window, gazing at the tears. Erika is continuing to touch Thomas, kissing and sucking on his neck as he pushes her away. He looks at me with worried eyes, but still showing no sign of caring. I close my curtains, giving no view of my bedroom. I can't believe Erika, but most importantly, I can't believe the feelings that are all rushing through me. I feel like going to sleep, forever and never wake up. I look for my razors, but then remember I flushed them awhile ago after I promised Alyssa and Erika I would stop harming myself. I have never tried to actually kill myself, I only cut, but now the idea is coming to realization. I lost my best friend to my ex boyfriend, who I still loved. What else do I have? Besides Alyssa, but she only ever really talked to me when Erika would. And my parents? They wouldn't care, they would move on, just like Erika and Alyssa would. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but what more is there to think about? I throw the ideas out of my mind and collapse onto my bed, as I lay there drifting off into sleep, i hope that I will never wake up.
