'HANDSOME' II COTAG II ELEVATOR HITCH

I miss him

(3 Months Later)

Portugal it's the country I hate the most now. I don't want to be there anymore. I still don't want to live. And I still love Bryce... We don't' talk how we used to. I'm still working at the same company and he as well. But on break we avoid each other.

He explained me everything. I believed.

But a break it's better, I think. We couldn't control ourselves. I couldn't control myself at the point I attempt to kill myself just because I couldn't have him anymore.

It's break time. I come to the room that we always we used to talk. I pick a coffee and seat on the same table as always remembering of me and Bryce talking a lot here. We used to laugh a lot. I drink my coffee when suddenly I feel someone sitting in front of me. The blonde Handsome tall guy.

We look at each other Awkwardly until he finally catches breath to speak.

"Hey." He says "So what have you been doing these days"

I am thinking about an excuse to the shit that I've been making since the day we stopped talking. I'm not saying that I've been masturbating about him almost every night.

"Nothing that would interest you" Nice excuse.

He looks at me blinking

"Oh OK." He's ok sounds way louder and dry "Well umm I've been thinking, and we could go Ice-skating! Or to some winter fair. It's still November but I'm like on the Christmas time of vibe already. What do we think... About us..."

I question myself... I think... It's not bad... I want to be with him but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I'm afraid If I mess up something. I still can't believe that he even talks to me after all of this. He should think I'm fucking crazy and mad for him. That I'm a parasite I'm pure madness.

"I'll think..." I say trying to sound more excited or something like that.

The break ends and we're forcing to come back to our cubicles... Well Bryce has a whole office but that's something different.

I seat on the chair Infront of the computer. I open a new page and start typing... While I type I think of something

Dear Bryce

You've been a drug to me. I can't get you out of my head. I never thought that I would write this to someone Because I never thought I would love someone as much as you. You mean something to me. You have something that it's impossible to explain. Your hair it's life little wires of gold and your curving pink lips are so fucking perfect that I would spend a whole day kissing you and feeling your hot breath in my mouth. I would have sex with you every day. I want to be in a relationship with you. I want to be your husband someday and have kids with you.

I stop Writing because I can't go further than this or he would never want to see me again...

Without thinking I just send this to him. Without Thinking. Not even a little recap.

* * *

I get everything ready to go home and get some rest after a long day of work. I wonder if Bryce have seen the letter I sent to him earlier. I regret every word of it. But at the same time, I'm pride of my choice.

I pick up my handbag and put a Cigar on my mouth. I start walking towards the elevator when I hear a voice

"I really don't like you addicted to cigarettes." Bryce says "I know I smoke them as well, but I care more about you than myself"

"Me too" I confess

He pins me to the wall and takes the cigarette out of my mouth leaning his face close to me too. I can fell his breath of my face coming closer to my lips when it's finally inside my mouth. He's lips are touching mine and our tongues are dancing together. He leaves out little sounds made his mouth. Sounds of pleasure.

I like hearing those. The most calming sound I ever heard.

He breaks the kiss

"Have you thought already?"

I look at him confuse. Thought about what?

I then remember what he asked me earlier

"Yes." I say "That's not a bad Idea at all..."