My heart is breaking, I swear I can hear it shattering. My breath is erratic, I'm struggling to breathe, I can't believe this is really happening. My whole world is falling apart but he looks like he's just put in a Starbucks order, he's totally unaffected.
"It's not that I dont love you " tom says, his voice is soft like he's taking to a child.
"If you loved me you wouldn't be breaking up with me" I manage to choke out"
"Were 18 and we've only had sex with eachother and everyone keeps making comments about us getting engaged after college "
"Their only teasing, no one expects us to get married after college, there's no rush for any of the "
"Sav don't you want to date other people, see what it's like to be with other guys"
"So this is About sex, you want to have sex with other women" I should have known, his friends are huge whores who are using college as an excuse to sleep with anyone willing.
"Yes, no. Not just sex"
"Then tell me what you want, what can I do to make you happy"
"Let me leave without making a scene that's what you can do. I don't want to be with you any more sav. Long distance doesn't work and I just want to be single for a while" he doesn't even look at me, he doesn't care how much I'm hurting.
"Ok" I'm not ok with it, not at all but if this is what he needs then I must step aside. He can be single for a few months, I know we will be together again soon. Were meant to be together, we've even discussed what type of dog we will get and what we will call our children.
"I know you sav I know you think this is just a phase but it's not. Were over"
"Ok" I repeate.
He starts to get annoyed "I don't want to marry your mother"
"My mother, what does my mom have to do with this"
"Savannah your more like her everyday"
His words are like a bullet, he's told me before how mind numbingly boring my mom is. He thinks I'm like her, he thinks I will spend my days at the country club and managing the home staff. He thinks I will just be a wife, I have aspirations and dreams that don't include galas and tennis at the club. I raise my hand and slap his face,
"Fuck you"
.........
It's been two weeks since tom and I split but I'm still angry, his words still sting. I love my mom but I don't want her life, I don't want to rely on a man hell I don't want to rely on anyone. I feel like I'm missing out on so many life experiences living with them. I've decided I'm going to move to new York for school. I'll complete a fine arts degree like mom wants but other than that I will accept no input from her in my life. It's time I spread my wings and fly the nest.
My best friend Hugo is living in the city, he's living his best life. He tells me all about his adventures when he calls, he's always inviting me to visit so I think it's time I accept his offer. I quickly pull out my suitcase and pack it, I need to leave before I can talk myself out of it. I poke my head around my bedroom door, I can't hear anyone. I quickly wheel my cases down the hall and towards the stairs. I try to move the case quietly down the stairs but each step makes more noise. There's no way my parents can't hear this, I run from the front door and jump in my car. My mom is stood at the front door as I drive away, I feel guilty but more than anything I feel free. I turn the stereo up to a deafening volume, I sing along at the top of my lungs.
My cell is ringing, I know it will be my mom. I'm too much of a coward to answer her call, I decide I'll send her a message when I'm in Hugo's home. I wonder if Hugo will message her on my behalf, yes I'm that scared of her. I can imagine that she's furious, my poor dad will have to listen to her complain. I feel bad that I've run from him, he's always been supportive of me.
I clutch my bag close to my body as I walk towards Hugo's apartment. I look up at the deli and wonder if I have the wrong address. Hugo had told me he lived in a huge apartment that had a footman and a private chef. He definitely never mentioned a deli and a strong smell of weed.
I wince as I see the 70 missed calls, I ignore them and call Hugo. He as answers almost immediately.
"Hey how are you"
"I'm lost, where do you live"
"What do you mean your lost, where are you"
"I'm outside a deli, I came to stay with you for a while"
"You did what, now's not a good time" he sounds panicked.
"Can you give me directions please, I'm tired and I need to see you"
Hugo sighs "I'll be there in two minutes"
The call ends, I look around I must be close if he's only two minutes away.
Hugo walks out from an alley, he quickly pulls me through the alley and into a dimly lit building.
He proceeds to pull a huge ring if keys from his pocket, there must be at least five locks. My face must show how confused I am. Hugo shrugs before outstretching his arms, his fingers almost touch each side of the main room. "This is my home, I may have exaggerated a little"
"You live here"
"Money's tight and do you know how much it costs to live in new York. Plus I'm hardly here I'm out all the time, I pretty much just sleep here" I feel bad for judging, he doesn't have to explain himself to me.
"It's cosy I love it, where will I be sleeping"
Hugo's face falls, "I guess you will have to share my room, you've only been here five minutes and your already fucking up my sex life"
