My Safe Space

sixteen

annabelle sighed as she sat alone at the mid base of the far stairwell of the sanctuary. it was late in the evening, she just needed to get out of the room she'd kept herself locked up in lately. she still hasn't talked or even seen negan in the like two days. she wished she didn't miss him so badly but she did. it had been a rough few days without him. she'd only left her room on very few occasions lately.

one of which was to grab food from the kitchen to bring for daryl. she'd been bringing him food and water and promising him that she'd free him soon. but to be honest - she wasn't sure how she was going to accomplish that. but she knew she would. anna wasn't going to let him be held captive and treated like a wild animal. not when she can do something about it. when she was with the man responsible.

"figured i'd find you here." dwight's voice startled her from her deep thoughts. "sorry."

"hey, no worries." she offered a smile up at the man before he took a seat at the steps with her.

"how are you doing anna? haven't seen you out of your room lately." dwight asked, concerned for her. annabelle appreciated not only that he constantly checked up on her, but treated her like a normal human being. not a piece of meat, not negans 'wife', but a normal person. "i know the news that negan dropped on you must be a lot to take in."

"is that why you told me to be careful? that.. that's he's not the man i think he is?" anna asked him.

he let out a sigh as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes before removing on and lighting it up. he motioned the pack toward her in which she took one, letting him light it for her as it hung from between her lips. "yeah, that's apart of the reason. if negan wants something, he gets it. in this world, that's dangerous. like what he does to those groups."

"what do i do.." she spoke softly followed with a sigh before taking another puff of her cigarette.

"does it change how you feel about him?" dwight asked her before enjoying his as well.

annabelle glanced over at him, taking in his question though she couldn't help but to notice the vulnerable and almost.. hopeful look in his eyes. "no.."

"if that's so," dwight began but paused to exhale the smoke from him lungs. "why have you been sitting here alone? avoiding negan for days?"

"because what do i say? him being a monster doesn't change how i feel for him but i can't stand by and let him continue killing people, keeping them captive and stealing." annabelle sighed in frustration.

"then change it." dwight said with a dead serious look to match his tone.

"how am i supposed to change it dwight? this is negan we're talking about, he does what he wants. he doesn't listen to-" annabelle was interrupted mid sentence by dwight.

"to anyone but you. if anyone can make him change his ways, it's you." dwight said.

annabelle stayed quiet, thinking hard about what dwight said. she felt a hand reach over and hold her own. "it'll be okay anna. i'm always here if you need anything, you know that."

annabelle offered a small smile over at dwight while she gave his hand a soft squeeze. "thanks dwight, i really needed this. you're the best."

annabelle stood and the two shared their goodbyes before she walked away and toward the familiar door that she'd avoided for days now. she stood outside for a few minutes, debating on weather or not now was a good time.

annabelle waited outside the door after placing a rather soft knock. she wondered to herself why she were going to say, wondering to herself why she was even at his door. but she couldn't take her mind off of negan, couldn't stop the painful feeling in her chest the longer she were away from him. over the last 2 days of being cramped up in her room trying to figure out a way to get daryl released all she could think about was negan. the way she missed his hands on her waist or combing through her hair. or the faint smell of his cologne, his soft lips.

negan was like a cigarette - and man was she an addict. as hard as it was hearing negan admit all of the things he's done, the worse part of it was that it changed nothing. she needed him.

"anna?" negans soft voice snapped her from her thoughts to realize he'd answered the door with a concerned look when he'd noticed how deep in thought she was. "come in."

annabelle stepped into the room and as soon as negan closed the door back and turned toward her, she flung her arms around him and buried her face into his chest. negan instinctively wrapped his arms around her despite his confusion. he had spent the last two days drowning in his own regret and guilt. pondering if she hated him, if she were going to leave and go back to her cabin to get away from him.

"i miss you," she sniffled into his chest as she fought against the tears that pricked at her eyes.

"i've missed you." he whispered back.

annabelle pulled away and took a seat on his sofa where he sat on the other end. "look.. you were clear with me in the beginning that you do bad things, i've witnessed some of it first hand. i just.. i just needed time to process everything else."

"i'm sorry this all got sprung on you like that, i'm sorry for the mess i've dragged you into." negan sighed. "but it keeps us going, keeps you safe, keeps you fed and happy. that's what matters to me now."

"but negan.. it can't stay this way. this isn't right." annabelle sighed. "you need to let daryl go, you need to leave those other communities alone."

"i can't annabelle, it's too late for that.." negan shook his head and stood to his feet. he walked toward the window and glanced out.

"it's not too late negan-" he quickly cut her off.

"it is. i killed some of their people, there's no changing that annabelle. they will retaliate and i'm not going to put you in that kind of danger. i told you - i promised you that i'd never let anything happen to you. this is me keeping that promise." negan sighed, fighting a war in his head.

annabelle stood and walked over to him, taking his hands in his own. "then let's leave together. just you and me. we'll leave this shitty factory behind, leave all of the blood and chaos behind."

"i.. i can't anna. i'm sorry." negan sighed.

annabelle said nothing, instead just pulled the troubled men in and hugged him again. negan squeezed her tightly to him as he waged this battle in his mind. he wanted nothing more than to fix this situation, for anna. but he'd did too much damage, there was nothing he could do to fix all he's caused.

annabelle raised her head up from his chest and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "we're gonna figure this out, i promise."

"that's what i'm supposed to say to you." he softly chuckled.

"taking care of someone you care about goes both ways negan." she smiled up at him. he offered a soft smile before pressing another kiss to her lips. negan couldn't compare his love for her to anyone else. she was so much like lucille, though so different. it was like he was given another chance to make things right, to do it right this time.

annabelle and negan spent a few hours together, cuddled up in bed and talking before she said her goodnights as she'd decided to sleep in her own room for tonight. they shared a kiss goodnight before annabelle left the room and make her way down the hall. though she didn't go to her room - but rather someone else's.

annabelle stood outside the door after knocking,  it was clear that he wasn't sleeping since the door was immediately opened. dwight gave a concerned look before poking his head out to look around, as i'd worried that negan was around. "anna? is everything okay?"

"can i come in?" she whispered.

dwight stepped to the side as he widened the door and allowed her to step into the room. after shutting the door behind her, he motioned to the sofa in his room for her to sit with him, which she quickly did. dwight looked over the expression on the girls face, seeing the troubled look in her eyes. "what's going on anna? did something happen?"

"i need your help." annabelle pleaded.

"okay, with what?" dwight asked curiously.

"i need your help breaking daryl out of here."