My Fake Boyfriend

MFB '46 - Life Alone

DENISE'S POV

Masakit man maging hangin ka na lang sa kanya ngunit kahit ganoon dinadaan mo na lang sa ngiti even it kills you deep inside.

Days,weeks and months have passed easily. And with that ganoon parin ang mga nangyayari. They saw me smiling, laughing and joining them like I do not have any burden. But kahit ano pa man iyon at the end of day I'm crying.

Mahirap, masakit 'yan. Paulit ulit kong nararamdaman at pinipilit kong kayanin. And questions were flashing in my mind. Why this ia happening? Why I should feel this? Why I can't be happy .. with him? I just want to love and be love ngunit bakit ang hirap ibigay sa akin 'yon.

And these past few weeks I've never talked to me parents. Ewan. Feeling ko hindi ko sila kayang kausapin ngayon. It's just a simple ' I gotto go'. ' I'll be late' yan lang ang palagi kong sinasabi.

They're actually don't care naman. Wala lang nga sa kanila na hindi ko sila pinapansin. They even not talking to me aswell. Wala din naman akong makausap sa bahay. Si kuya? Busy sa pag-aasekaso ng wedding niya. Habang nag-aaral. And Aira? Is already 2 weeks absent I don't where she is . And. Elis is out of town for family matters. I'm so .. lonely.

And now. Here I'am facing another day of my life alone. Kahit masakit na wala kang mapagsabihan ng mga sakit na nararamdaman mo pero pinipilit kong kayanin. Actually buo na sana ang desisyon kong ipaglalaban ko si Jayvan kina mommy. But Aira said poped up in my mind '

"Hmmp.. depende. Kasi desisyon iyon nila for you tapos ikaw yung against diba masakit din iyon para sa kanila.

Kaya umatras ako sa plano na 'yon. Hay. Ang hirap. Ang hirap lalo na kapag kailangan mong mamili between the person who is important to you.

After my first subject I excuse myself sa prof namin. Feeling ko ang bigat ng daladala ko. Hindi ko kaya. Kaya kailangan kong bawasan. Dumiretso ako sa music hall at nag-umpisang umiyak.

It hurts me inside and outside. Graveh na! Kota ko na ata lahat ng sakit ngayong buwan. Patuloy lang ako sa 'pag iyak ng biglang may nagsalita.

"Ang problema hindi iniiyakan, sinusolusyonan 'yan."

Pag-angat ko ng tingin ay naglahad siya ng panyo. Is this some kind of Deja vu?

"Now tell me.. Are you crying for the same reason nung nakita kita months ago here in this hall, huh?" He said. And then he sit beside me.

"Naa. It is not the about same reason but it includes the same person." I answered habang pinupunasan na ang luha ko.

Tumihik ang paligid sa aming dalawa. It seems like. Mahirap para sa amin ang magtimbang kung ano ang unang sasabihin.

"I think I know whose your talking about.?" Tanong niya.

"Maybe." Simpleng sagot ko..

Tumikhim siya at nagsalita.

"I don't think I can give you a comfort words but I just want to say that whatever it is. You can pass through it. Just face the trials."

Tumango ako.

"Yeah. It's fated .. why not face it right?"

"Yeah. Alam mo bang dumaan lang ako dito dahil kaka enroll ko lang.? And then I heard you sobbing kaya pumunta ako. What I expect is ..iba yung umiiyak .. ikaw pala."

"Who do you expect? Some kind of ghost or a crying little girl?" I sarcasticly ask. Ngunit seryoso yung mukha niya.

"No.. ahmm.. nevermind." At tinignan niya yung relo niya na parang chinicheck ang oras.

"May pupuntahan ka?" I ask.

"Ahm.. yeah. I have a date with my mom." He answered.

"May pupuntahan ka pala bakit nandito ka pa?"

"Ahm.. is it okay na iwan na kita dito?"

"Yeah. Go on!" I smile and he smile at me too. Tumayo siya.

"Ok. Just believe that he still cares.." at naglakad na siya.

Haay. I dob't if he still do. Akala ko ba mahal niya ako? Pero bakit hindi man lang niya ako nagawang ipaglaban.?

JAYVAN'S POV

Those days avoiding her was definitely a hell. Kitang kita ko sa mga mata niya na nasasaktan siya, and it double the pain I feel. Bakit ba kailangan pang maging ganito ang sitwasyon namin.

Nung araw na nasa canteen kami at kaharap ko siya. God! I am so tempt to hug her tight. But I know that I can't. I love her but I'am coward that I couldn't fight for her.

And when she excused herself during our class. I am so curious why did she do that. Is she not feeling well? She looks pale this past few days. I knew that she and her parents are not okay. And I pity her. I want to comfort her. But I can't. Damn this situation! It kills me.

I just want to check her out kaya sinundan ko siya. But after a couple of minutes nakita kong lumabas si Xavier sa Music Hall. But I don't care. What the point here is I want to know where's Denise.

Ngunit nakita kong lumapit si Xavier sa akin.

"Ang babaeng mahal mo, kailangan mong mahalin. Hindi paiyakin. Alam mo bang nakakaawa siyang tignan kanina. Umiiyak lang . You love then you have done nothing? Bro, your not the Jayvan I know. The Jayvan I know is the one who is brave to face all those trials without minding the consequences because you want what's right.. tsk! Please.. ipaglaban mo siya.." and then he left.

His right. I have done nothing. Wala akong magawa. Hindi ko magawang lumaban dahil kapag ginawa ko may masasaktan naman. At ayokong mangyari 'yon.

But I really want to check her. I was about to go inside when I got stiffed and I felt that my heart crushed into pieces. She's with someone. She's hugging someone. Who the hell is this someone touching my girl huh?!"