Your Losing Me

Chapter 21

Taylor POV

"You don't get it!" I sobbed, refusing to look at the 2 people in the room with me. They didn't understand. I had to lose weight. "Baby, look at me" Charlie gently lifted my chin. "What?" I asked, sniffling. "Baby, I do get it. But can you tell me why you didn't come to me or your mom or anyone else in your support system?" I shrugged. "Didn't want to be stopped." The discomfort on my mom's face was obvious. She wasn't familiar with anorexia and still got a little uncomfortable sometimes. "Darling, you know I'm not gonna let you keep making those smoothies. We're gonna have you rest today okay? Your shaking. Andrea?" Charlie asked my mom who nodded in acknowledgment "could you go buy a pack of ensures? Maybe 2." My mom grabbed her keys, pressing a kiss to my forehead before walking out. Feeling utterly defeated I curled up on the sofa, facing away from everything. "Princess?" Charlie asked softly after a few minutes. "Hm?" "What do you think about Blake coming around?" My heart started to race slightly at the thought of Blake seeing me in this state but I just shrugged. Clearly Charlie wanted Blake to come around, who was I to say otherwise? Feeling my eyes slip shut I simply let sleep overtake me.

Waking up what felt like a few minutes later I quickly sensed a hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing circles with their thumb. Groggily I moved slightly in an effort to shake whoever it was off me. "Hey T." Blake said making my heart race again. Shit. She wasn't supposed to see me like this. Too much pity. "Go." I stated simply and I could see the confusion on her face before realization. "Taylor, I'm not judging you. I know you're shaking because you're extremely malnourished. Charlie told me what you've been doing." Sitting up now I shook my head "Please Blake. I don't.....I can't be like this in front of you." Avoiding the curly haired girl's eyes I picked at my fingers. "It's okay. Why are you so terrified of showing anything other than happiness? I know your human Taylor. I know you're struggling, and I'm not gonna judge or tell the public or whatever it is that's scaring you so much." Blake's words felt like lies to me, even though I knew they were true. "When I was struggling....back in 2014.....a lot of people tried to get me to stop by telling media. They thought maybe if I listened to the hate I got the way I did and let it influence me then maybe if I heard media talking about my eating, I'd fix it. But it just made me worse. And then people knew about my eating. Making fun of me for it and telling me I was being dramatic. I lost a lot of friends because of my eating disorder Blake. Being famous makes it hard for me to open up, as I'm sure you've gathered, so I'm wary to trust people now. Please understand...." I trailed, petting Benjamin and gently separating a small mat that had begun forming on his neck. Looking away from my friend I heard her sigh softly. "Tay....can I tell you something?"

Hi!!! Sorry it's been so long! Lots of my hobbies have fallen to the back burners recently because of some bad mental health issues so it's been quite a while. What's Blake gonna tell Taylor? Did she betray Taylor's trust? Suggestions? Opinions?

-Brooklyn