The Bonds That Bind Us (Oc x Blade HSR)

First Death (11)

(Sorry this took a bit to get out :,> ran into writers block)

You stayed on your phone for a bit, just listening to music while keeping a hand on Blade’s thigh. Every now and then, you looked at him and felt your heart rate quicken. What is wrong with me…? Why is it getting hard to breathe…?
“Will you stop moving around so much…?” you heard Blade scoff. You froze before looking up at him. “I said quit moving.”
“R-ren??”
“What?”
“H-how long have you been up?” you whispered.
“For a bit now, why?” he asked, his head still remaining on yours. “... are you going to answer, or?”
“I-I… why haven’t you moved?”
“Why should I?” he responded nonchalantly. “Would you like me to?” His voice softened as he asked this.
“... no.. please don’t.” you muttered, your hand gripping his thigh.
Without warning, Blade’s hand went to rest on your own. “Calm down, control your breathing.” he directed. “Try to match my own, just breathe in and out.”
You closed your eyes and tried to focus on Blade’s breathing. As you did so, you could hear Blade mutter praise and urge you to continue. This only served to raise your heart rate even more. “R-ren…. Why am I–” you whispered before he flipped your hand over and felt the pulse in your wrist. You yelped and averted your gaze from his own. He hummed to himself before taking his head off your own and parting from you. He got up from the booth and glanced at you.
“I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.”

Your heart rate instantly increased when he came back and sat down next to you. “I know why your heart rate is acting up… that ‘gamble with your emotions’ turned out to make you feel affection…”
“What the hell…” you groaned, pinching your nose bridge.
Blade rolled his eyes before grabbing your hand. “Let’s go. We need to check back in with Firefly’s progress.” You could only muster a nod as you looked at your intertwined fingers. Blade took out his phone before smirking and flicking your head. “You're a brat.”
“H-hey! Am not!” you protested with a pout.
“You definitely are, no arguments… seems Firefly is busy..” He sighed before turning back to you. “Guess we have more freetime than expected…”
“Wanna go stargazing?” you asked.
“Hm?”
“It'd be cool, trust me.”
Blade rolled his eyes before nodding. “You aren't going to take no for an answer without whining… so fine.”

You two eventually found the highest part of Penacony you could reach and crashed. Taking a seat on the edge of a balcony, you patted the stone next to you. “Cmon! Sit with me!” you ushered Blade over.  He chuckled before resting next to you.
“This is stupid to waste our time like this…” he sighed.
“Oh shut it, if it was so stupid then why are you smiling?” you retorted, poking him on the arm.
“You're not beating the brat allegations.” He smirked before turning his gaze to the sky. Various shooting stars illuminated the atmosphere, causing your eyes to widen in awe.
“I could stare at this for hours…” you muttered.
“Could you now?” Blade laughed lightly.
“Mhm!!”
A buzz sounded off before Blade checked his phone. He clicked his tongue and sighed. “... the first death has taken place.”
“Huh?”
“... shame it wasn't me.”
You stared at Blade in utter confusion. “W-what?? What do you mean??”
“Firefly has fallen to her first death.” Blade said nonchalantly. “She'll soon fall to her second and finally her third…” He trailed off, sadness looming in his tone.
“I-I don't understand… what's happening?” you asked, trying to wrap your head around it all.
“The script is playing out as planned. Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any harm befalling on you.” Blade sighed before looking up at the sky once more.
“F-firefly… is dead?”
“Technically, not yet. But… she is bound to die at the end of this.” he muttered.
“W-why don’t we stop it!?”
“... we can’t. It’s fate.” he whispered. “You don’t need to mourn… it’s better this way.”
You felt tears well up in your eyes. “I-I… how?”
“She’s dying as a human rather than a weapon… she wanted this outcome… besides, it’s better than living eternally.” He paused for a moment before letting out a long exasperated sigh. “Rhea, may I tell you a story?”
“... why?”
“To allow you further insight on her choice.”
“... indulge me then.”
“Very well.”

Blade’s expression darkened as he went on. “I want you to imagine something for me. Imagine you're surrounded by faces you can't remember but know were once dear to you. Then, imagine the desperation to find them or find any semblance of your past. You can remember only bits and pieces of it, but you can never quite grasp the whole story.”
“... this… is about you, isn't it, Blade?” you asked softly. “... what… happened?”
“... I woke up one day, thought I had died… and in a sense, I had. All I could see was crimson. All I could taste was iron. All of my limbs wouldn't move… and then, I was killed yet again.”
“Huh?”
“I had lost all will to live the more and more I had died to her hand. But, I no longer had a say in my fate. All I could think… was how marvelous it all truly was.”
“Blade…”
“I was killed by her more than a hundred times over…” he scoffed, his eyes glazing over. “I have experienced ‘death’ more than you could ever know… yet I have failed to ever truly grasp it… I was human once… but no longer. I will one day die as the weapon I am… as a blade.”
You looked down at your hands. “... Firefly doesn't want to die as a weapon… Does she?” Blade nodded. “Still… I don't want her to just… die…”
“Would you rather she live forever?”
“... no.”
“Then… Support her decision. That's all we can do.”

The two of you stayed silent for a while before you spoke up. “Blade…?” you whispered, looking up at him solemnly. “What… What do you do… when you don't feel alive enough to be human… but not dead enough to feel like a weapon….?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do… Do you simply go on, living as nothing? A simple husk yet to be discovered? Or… do you search desperately to find what fills the void? I-I… I don't want to die a meaningless death…”
“There's no such thing.”
“Huh?” you asked as Blade continued to stare at the sky. You waited for a response, but none came.