Unknown number[JENSOO]

27

If you're struggling with some kind of problem that wasn't something substantial, but rather a mental one, a problem that was in your head, something that was inside you and wasn't on public display, maybe even something that you didn't notice yourself, however, I felt it. Perhaps this problem was even hidden from you, but over time, at some point, you felt it so strongly that it literally appeared in front of your nose.

Some problems are so invisible and unremarkable that you had no idea you had them. It is very lousy when people do not take seriously the mental illnesses of others, for example, depression again, this disease has been so devalued that they mix the suffering, pain and torment of people with laziness, nonsense and fiction. This is completely wrong, it does not mean that people should understand them or sympathize with them, but it is enough just not to mix their condition with dirt and not to mix their problems with their own.

It's not easy to open up without all this, and when at some point you decide to open up, bare yourself in search of at least some help and share your powerlessness in the hope of grabbing onto something so as not to fall into a hopeless aching abyss, and all you get is a slap in the face of condemnation and a surge of pity.

It's bad to keep everything to yourself, it can lead to very disastrous consequences, it's almost the same as falling under every raging wave in the middle of a huge ocean and surfacing, but all with a heavier burden. But what remains when no one understands you and does not want to understand you? All that remains is to keep everything to yourself. It is better to die from your own waves than from someone else's.

Try to remember one thing, if you are tormented by some unkind thoughts, mental anguish and you feel that you are about to finally break down, break like a porcelain toy from the hundredth floor, then don't rush to open up to someone. Find someone you can trust.

No, it's not like that, you don't have to look for anyone, if you meet a person you trust, make sure that he is worthy of your trust, so that he cannot break you.

And remember, it's okay to be out of order. We don't have to always be okay, we are not robots, we have a brain, a heart and a soul, and we cannot be neutral towards our surroundings and dispassionate to our feelings and emotions. That's why we are human beings, to feel something, to experience joy, sadness, anger, fear and disgust. A small reference to the cartoon Inside Out, because emotions also live in us, although there are more emotions, much more, both negative and positive.

A person cannot be indifferent. Only if once he forbade himself to feel and love.

We all break down, and this is normal, it's just that at some point something went wrong and something collapsed in us, or rather, something began to slowly collapse inside us, as if corroding the soul from the inside. Thereby destroying our perception of both life and things, ourselves and people. And we wonder, when exactly did everything go wrong, when did everything go wrong? When did everything become so different from what it was before? Something has changed in us, although it seems that we are kind of the same as before, but at the same time something has changed, and this change was somewhere inside.

And when you think about your childhood, about yourself as a child, you wonder when I managed to become like this? And it's so unfair that you can't put everything back in its place, sort everything out, put all the broken parts of yourself back together and put them back together like a mosaic. But you can't do anything, you try to get everything back on track, but something still keeps falling apart. And it's like you're in some kind of vicious circle, the circle gets tighter and tighter, forcing you to curl up.

There is less and less light in this circle, prompting darkness to take over space, thereby coloring you, thoughts and soul with darkness. And you start to get lost in time, in the existence of what your thoughts were telling you, you start to get lost in space and in yourself.