BEAUTY IN THE BEAST

Hearts That Are Meant To Be Broken

Ch 96: Hearts that are meant to be broken

Kat

For the past one hour I've clung to him, totally wrapped in his arms as he holds me on my parents' bed. For the past hour I've been quiet, completely feeling the loss of my father now that his smell is not there anymore on his clothes, I feel like I've been stolen from, like my soul is ripping away from my chest and would I have been alone, I wouldn't have survived the mayhem, but the strong arms wrapped around are keeping me grounded, as my husband's fingers work through my hair, they're providing me with a comfort I can't put a name on.

I know he has questions, his murderous gaze has said so in the past hour. So I start speaking, the most bitter memory coming on my tongue as I visit that day in my memory lane, seeing it vivid as if it's just happening in front of my eyes.

"They were good people you know, my parents..." I say and trail off... my mind going into a different universe, a time when I was contented.

"normal people, nothing posh, they just had strict rules, rules which I hated as a teen, rules which have always been tampered by my brother and me, we used to play the line with those rules, tiptoe between the right and wrong side of it," I touch his pendent which he gave me... his arms tightening around me.

"We were your normal American family, the white picket fence and two kids with working parents, honestly I never blamed my parents for never being at home because I always had my brother, he was my partner in crime, my best friend, my confidant and my protector." I smile a watery smile as I remember Jo's light handsome features.

"It would have been an honour to meet him. I would have liked him for taking care of my little bee." Ace says softly and my heart just cracks at the reminder of Jo not being here anymore.

"He would have liked you too." I say softly looking into my husband's grey dark eyes.

"So ummm... everything was great and all, I had completed my undergrads when I finally decided I wanted to go to a solo trip, Jo insisted on coming with me but I didn't want him to miss his college to roam on empty streets with me, he was a maths prodigy, a top A student, he was doing his masters at that time. I didn't had any real friends so I really wanted to experience it alone, the thrill... I wanted to lick freedom once..." I stop as I arrange my words, the words which I haven't told to anyone, they're the words which make me feel useless, pathetic and a whiny waste of space.

Ace stays quiet, letting me handle my thoughts.

"I wanted to see if I could survive alone, if I could be on my own, since I wanted to learn it, I never felt as I belonged anywhere you know, there was always a part of me... a part of me whispering that I wasn't good enough, that my family deserved someone better. I couldn't meet my eyes in the mirror Ace. All I could see was a blank, empty face. A face I didn't recognise. There were black swirls of ink in my gaze, a vastness always engulfing me whole, it was just... nothing." Tears of frustration fill and fall from my eye. Silently Ace wipes them with his thumbs.

"So, I had my money saved from all the part times I did and it was more than enough for me to go visit somewhere in America, I took my time and decided very minutely that I wanted to go to New York." I take a deep breath.

"My family was happy but worried, it was supposed to be a ten-day trip and then back home, I have dyslexia, it was hard for me to read and write, hard but not impossible as it was in the beginning. I was proud of myself and I really really wanted to make something of myself, my brother always told me that he would take care of me for the whole life, till forever ended, it was his way of showing love, his way of saying I don't need to force myself for things." I remember Jo's face when I ran back home after my first interview and cried in his arms, I was made fun of by one of the personnel who were taking the interview, I felt small and Jo comforted me, he said we could go anywhere I want and I would always stay with him.

"The part was he actually meant the words but I just considered them as another incompatibility to take care of myself in the future, so I chose New York, so that I could find something that suited me in the hub of America."

"You wanted to prove yourself." Ace says, not a question but I nod my head.

"I realised a lot later that I didn't want to be a burden on my family more than I already was, I wanted them to be free of my problems so they can be happy and in peace, it was always one of them worrying about me as if I was a porcelain doll, I wanted them to be happy, contented and carefree. So, I packed my bags and took the flight to New York, the first four days were fun, doing the touristy things and buying different stuff kept my mind occupied so I didn't see the black ink that used to swivel around me at all times."

I take a deep breath from here the story actually starts. "It was on the fourth night that I met Austin." I spit his name. the tattoo behind my ear twitches and I have to force myself to not scratch that area.

"Demitri Mikhaloiv." Ace says in a grave whisper, my eyes shoots to his but his face is a blank mask. There's no use in asking how does he know the name that's the reason of my fucking nightmares.

I nod my head and lick my suddenly dry lips.

"We met at a club, he introduced himself as a banker..." my gut drops and I close my eyes and the pain transcends through my whole body, like blank ink covers everywhere my vision follows.

"We...had fun for a month, I started feeling lighter, he didn't know about my broken past, didn't see me for the broken child I was often pitied as, he saw me for myself I thought, he worshipped the earth I walked upon, I though he was in... love.. with me." I whisper the last words, a laugh so hollow it grates my nerves follows from my throat. It's really pathetic how I jumped upon the first man who gave me a little attention.

"We went to different places... happily in love I thought, I believed his words, believed him when he kissed me and whispered how pretty I was. I actually wanted to give him my virginity you know, I thought I finally found the fictional man I always dreamt of. I knowingly ignored all the red flags as I tramped down on everything that was real in a chase for a dream which was as destructive as the piper's haunted song." I stop, my brain all mushy, Ace's hands are holding onto me so tightly it hurts a little and his knuckles are white.

I need some space. I can't continue. The words echo in my mind.

"I can't anymore." I whisper and I expected boredom or aggression in his eyes but instead all I see is understanding and a look that is so feral it frightens me to my bones.

"The talk isn't over yet pcholka, just delayed until we get home." I find myself nodding my head, I don't protest as Ace takes us to the car and buckles me in, then takes the driver's seat and zips us down to the empty roads of my childhood.

Do tell me your views on the chapters. Thank You everyone for reading my book.

-love rky xoxo.