BETTER OFF

26

LOGAN

I take deep breath as I walk up to the front door. This may not be Kenzie and I's first date but it feels like it. I can't fuck it up.

I stare at the dark green door for a couple seconds before I finally knock. I fumble with the bouquet of flowers in my hand and then look down at the purple and white flowers. Was this too much? Too late, the door is opening.

As the door opens Makenzie comes into view, she's smiling as she cheerfully says, "Hi!"

She looks absolutely beautiful. Her short brown hair is wavy and tucked behind her ears, the long animal print dress she's wearing fits her like a glove. There's a little 'M' necklace hanging around her neck along with a few other gold chains.

"Hi," I smile at her. "These are for you."

She takes the flowers from me, giving them a small sniff. Then with the sweetest smile she says, "Thank you, do you wanna come in quick? While I put them in some water?"

"Sure," I follow her inside, shutting the door behind me.

"So what else can I know about this night you have planned?" Kenzie asks as she opens different cabinets looking for something. She finally finds a tall glass vase on the stop shelf of one of the cabinets.

I watch her try to reach for the vase. She's lifting up on her tiptoes, and despite knowing she may yell at me....I walk up next to her, resting my hand on the small of her back as I grab the vase.

"Thank you," she says softly as I hand it to her. Her light brown eyes are framed with black eyeliner, making them somehow brighter.

"You're welcome," I give her a small smile before she turns and continues to fill the vase with water.

"And to answer your question, you'll have to wait and see," I shrug standing off to the side watching her cut the stems of the flowers.

"Oh c'mon! Can't I at least know what beach we're going to?"

"Oh well yeah, we're going to Santa Monica," I push myself off the counter, "You should have just asked," I say sarcastically and Kenzie reaches over to hit my chest with a head shake.

"Where's the bathroom?"

She doesn't say anything about my comment she just answers my question with a small smile as she keeps her eyes down on the flowers, "Down the hall, second door on the left."

I follow her directions and head down the hall.

-

Makenzie's laughing, sitting across from me. We're sat at the restaurant, sitting in a small round booth in the corner. The sun is almost fully set but there's still warm yellow sunlight lighting up the whole restaurant.

"Can I ask you something? I don't want to ruin our night because I am having fun, a lot of fun, but I also just need to ask you this." Kenzie says as she uses her fork to pick up more of the slice of chocolate cake in front of us.

"Ask me anything," I tell her as I follow her lead, using my fork to pick up more cake.

Kenzie sets down her fork, leaving the cake on the prongs as she leans back in the booth. She's looking right at me as I put the cake I picked up into my mouth.

"After the accident, and you were cleared to go home," she pauses like she might back out of asking the question, "Uhm what happened? Like from your point of view? Walk me through your night."

"Uhm," I set my fork down, clearing my mouth of any chocolate, "They cleared me and my brother came to pick me up. He took me home so I could rest because it was three am."

Kenzie doesn't say anything she just lets me talk. But every word is a knife to my heart because why didn't I try harder? Why did I just let her go? I hurt her and walked away. She didn't deserve any of the pain I caused her.

"And I knew you'd be sleeping so there was no point of trying to see you, but the next day the first thing I did was stop for some flowers and tried to go see you," I tell her, the guilty feeling makes my chest tight all over again. "But when I got there your Dad was out front, and he's already scary as it is but he was even more scary looking that day. I told him how sorry I was and asked to see you but he said you were getting an x-ray. I said I'd wait but then your Mom came around the corner and ripped me a new one."

I drag my hand over my face, leaning forward on the table. The words her Mom said still linger in the back of my head. Her Mom looks like your typical sweet southern mother but she's the most protective and serious person I've ever met.

"I'm sorry," Kenzie gently lays her hand   on mine as she slides around the rounded both moving a little closer to me.

"You're sorry?" I question in disbelieve looking over at her.

"I talked to my sister last week about everything, and she was actually just behind the door when Mom went off on you. She heard the whole thing, but our parents told her to not tell me anything. They wanted me to hate you, which I mean I did, you did some really shitty things," Makenzie says looking up at me, "And I've had my fair share of Coach James talks, and I know how mean and ruthless she can be. I'm sorry she did that to you."

I turn, taking her hand in mine, running my thumb over her palm as I look her in the eyes saying, "Kenz, you don't need to be sorry about anything that happened. I'm the one who made the very dumb decisions and the one who just gave up."

"I'm sorry for everything I did, I'm so beyond sorry that you got hurt and that it affected your dancing. I'm sorry for the emotional pain. I'll be saying sorry til the day I die, because I never wanted to hurt you, I-"

Kenzie's lips meet mine for a quick second, making my words come to a halt. She pulls away saying, "You were a different person then, and you're a very different person now. And I know you're sorry, but you need to not harbor the guilt either, Logan."

I know she's right but I don't think I'll ever not feel guilty.

"Kenz, I ruined your life and your dance career."

She raises a brow at me, "Logan, you more than anyone should know I don't want a dance career."

She's right. I know she love photography more. Kenzie's had a camera on her at all times since the moment I've know her. She used to carry around a small pink digital camera around in her backpack at school, she was always randomly pulling it out to snap photos of something she'd seen. Hell, I bet if I asked her right now she would probably tell me she has a camera of some sort in her purse right now.

"I kinda always assumed you still dance in some way," I tell her because I do believe that, she's a great dancer. "Along with photography."

She shrugs reaching for her glass of wine, "Maybe, I don't know. That's a thought for next year."