To Run With the Words From Her Mouth |A Writing Journal|

Title (General Fiction)

May 24th
Day 24

Forming of the Story

Genre: General Fiction or Teen Fiction (Young Adult)

Theme: Family, Forgiveness

Story told by:
James Olander —1st person

About: After James's mother left when he was just two years old, he's still looking for ways to mend the emptiness she left in him and his father's heart. He first turns to renovation before dance came into his life, and that's where he meets a girl he gets very close to; James has never really been in a relationship, how will things go?

Title(s):

-Dancing on Petals
-Just Do It
-A World Without You
-Losing My Step
-The Mirror of Dance/Life
-The Other Side of This

Introduction
|Rough Draft|

I never thought I could hate someone as much as I hated my mom. I didn't think it was possible. Because it wasn't. Not for me. There wasn't a single person, who I could think of at the moment, that I hated, dislike, maybe, but even that was a short list.

My dad once told me, "hate can burn a hole through your heart." I was five and didn't even know what the word meant. But now that I'm older, I think he told me that because he was still going through the phases of grief and wanted to find some form of closure. He wanted to forgive her, because I was always going to be his reminder that she existed—he loved her: every kiss that they shared. Every hand-holding moment. Every star-eyes stare.

He loved her enough to get down on one knee and take her hand, asking her to be his forever—yucky cliche—and then his love continued to grow as her belly did; his smile, one that I could only imagine, was probably as wide as the... distance between the sun and the moon. Ugh.

But I wouldn't know. I was just a few months old when things between them changed. I could only assume. And I chose the happy story because it kind of chipped away at the hate, which only made me wonder even more why she left.

Was I that baby that cried a lot? As the saying goes, 'boys do love to eat.' Maybe I was always fussy because I was always hungry and it stressed her out. Maybe she thought I was ugly, or she couldn't handle how much I looked like my dad. Sometimes I think she would've rather wanted a girl.

But anyways, my father's eyes tell me I'm not wrong, but I'm also not right. When I look at them all I see is tiredness and what I guess a dog looks like when they miss their owner. His slouch shows that he misses her...

Mom, whose real name was Sarah Longfur, was the one person who could just up and leave before the memories could even set.