Naisha
Knock
Knock
The sudden sound at the door jostles me out of my sleep, I slowly manage to open my eyes, each of my eyelids feeling like a heavy log for crying since hours, My mind feels so scattered, trying to navigate through a stormy sea without a compass.
Sunlight flooding through the entire room makes me squint my eyes
I don't even remember when I have slept yesterday , The mirror in front of me makes me realize that I look like a chaotic mess , My eyes red and swollen, my hair a shamble , I try to cajole myself but I fail. It's like I am trying to keep all the plates spinning at once, but feeling like they're about to crash down at any moment.
More tears spill out of my eyes.
There is a knock again.
Their househelp aunty is standing in front of me with a huge tray in her hand.
Two big glasses of coloured water , I don't even know what they are, and 5-6 bowls of some stuff on the plate.
" Hi, how are you?" She walks past me and keeps the tray on the table. I immediately go to the washroom to wash my face and make myself look a little normal instead of a zombie
" What are these aunty?" I move forward to inspect the tray.
" This is banana milk shake and this is oats strawberry smoothie , these are almonds, walnuts, cashews, raisins, pistachios, dates, And you have to finish all of them in front of me" She orders me just like a mother.
What the hell is she even saying. Who eats so many things that too early in the morning. I am still coping up with a deep, aching pain in the core of my heart, as if a part of me has been torn away. There is a rollercoaster of emotions, from intense sadness to anger to betrayal.
I am already feeling too nauseous and I can't handle all these now
I give her an exhausted smile and slouch on the bed. I am feeling so tired from my relentless crying sessions.
But I don't want her to feel insulted and unheard.
" I will eat them later, okay , also thank you "I try to put up a forced smile.
She stands in front of me with a frown trying to scrutinize my face, I instantly turn away, I don't want her to see a mess of me and counter another embarrassment.
" No, no, absolutely no, you have to finish them now only" She orders again, Her tone gentle yet firm conveying a sense of nurturing authority.
" Riddhimaan baba has given me strict orders to feed you properly" she keeps both her hands on the waist and frown at me.
Riddhimaan, a man with a distant memory now, I try to chuckle at the irony of the situation.
His name like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest making it hard to breathe
" What else did he tell you?" I look up at her, A raw throbbing reminder of everything he did with me, a strange hollow emptiness drugging me.
" That I have to supervise your diet and feed you all kinds of nutritious foods, and take care of you properly, now c'mon finish these fast, then after breakfast I will give you fruits, oh I've also been said that if you ever feel like you want to eat something, I should make it for you "
The tightness in my ribcage which started as a subtle pressure, now slowly constricting my breath. My throat burning, tears welling up, a dam about to crack.
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