Big Bang Theory (Male Reader X Penny)

S2. EP13 The Friendship Algorithm

The university cafeteria

Raj: Mmm, gentlemen, I put it to you, the worst tapioca pudding is better than the best pudding of any other flavour.

Sheldon: First off, that is axiomatically wrong, because the best pudding is chocolate. Secondly, the organic structure of tapioca makes it a jiggling bowl of potential death. It is extracted from the plant...

Howard: Hey, I'm thinking of growing a mustache.

Y/N: Ah, no kidding! A Fu Man Chu? A handlebar pencil?

Sheldon: It is extracted from the plant...

Howard: I'm not sure yet. You know, George Clooney has one now!

Sheldon started to twitch uncontrollably.

Raj: Really? I once saw him shopping at Ralph's. He was buying tequila.

Howard: Oh, you'd think a guy like that would have some kind of booze lackey.

Y/N: Alright this is cruel, we better let him finish before his head explodes.

Howard: Alright Sheldon, why is tapioca...

Sheldon: Tapioca is extracted from the root of the plant Manihot Esculenta. Due to a high concentration of cyanide it is poisonous in its raw form and lethal if prepared improperly.

Raj: Feel better now?

Sheldon: It is also indigenous to Brazil, as is the Cocoa Bean, from which we get chocolate, the best pudding. And you promised you wouldn't do that anymore!

Kripke (arriving): Hey L/N! Heard about your watest pwoton decay expewiment, twenty thousand data wuns and no statistically significant wesults. Vewy impwessive!

Kripke left as they tried to console Y/N.

Howard: What a jerk.

Raj: Don't feel bad, negative results are still results.

Howard: Even twenty thousand of 'em.

Y/N: I'm trying to mess it up. I don't care about proton decay, it's already been proven. I want to move on but I need to mess up enough, so when I suggested I change fields, they agree.

Howard: Are you sure, youre just not getting anywhere so you decided to call it quits.

Y/N: 20,000 results and nothing. Do you think I'm stupid?

Sheldon: He has a point.

Y/N: All I have to do is ignore Kripke and I'll be fine.

Raj: It should be easy, he's a ginormous knob.

Howard: That's why he eats by himself, instead of sitting here at the cool table.

Raj: Fo' shizzle.

Sheldon: Hey it's true, Kripke lacks the basic social skills that we take for granted, but he also controls the new open science grid computer that I need to use to run some simulations of structure formation in the early universe.

Y/N: Good luck getting time on it. The only people he lets use it are his friends.

Sheldon got up and approached Kripke.

Kripke: Yeah?

Sheldon: What'd you say of the idea of you and I becoming friends?

Kripke: I would say, I have no intewest in becoming your fwiend.

Sheldon: Really? That seems rather short-sighted, coming from someone who is generally considered altogether unlikable. Why don't you take some time to reconsider?