Big Bang Theory (Male Reader X Penny)

S3.EP15 The Swedes.

Y/N's lab.

Y/N was working when his phone rang. It seemed to claw its way through the layers of concentration that Y/N had painstakingly built. He frowned, a small wrinkle forming between his brows, and glanced at the caller ID. A number he didn't recognize, a string of unfamiliar digits that suggested an international connection.

Y/N: Y/N speaking?

The voice on the other end was crisp, official, and spoke with a slightly formal accent. It was a long call, filled with carefully chosen words, references to his work, and a steadily mounting sense of disbelief that began to bloom in the pit of Y/N's stomach.

With the call ended, Y/N replaced the receiver slowly, deliberately, as if afraid of shattering whatever strange dreamscape he had stumbled into. He stared at his reflection in the dark screen of his phone, a stranger looking back at him. He felt strangely detached, an observer in his own life.

The university cafeteria.

Howard (on the phone): Yeah, I miss you, too, sweetie. Listen, I got to go, but I'll see you tonight? Okay. Bye-bye. Yeah, bye-bye. No, you hang up first. Hello?

Raj: Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend, but do you have to do all that lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us who don't?

Sheldon: Actually, he might have to. There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise neener-neener.

Howard: That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend being miserable and alone.

Raj: Thank you.

Howard: Although, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.

Y/N appeared with a small smile.

Y/N: Who's miserable and alone?

Raj: Me.

Y/N: Oh. I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend, and my career has gone through the roof.

Sheldon: In pre-1976 terms, neener-neener.

Y/N: Hey, what are you and Bernadette doing for your first Valentine's Day?

Howard: Yeah, I am pulling out all the stops. There's a $39.95 lover's special at P.F. Chang's. Egg rolls, dumplings, bottomless wok, and you get your picture taken on the big marble horse out front.

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Howard: I understand your point, but given a choice, Jews always go with Chinese food.

Raj: Well, if anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's Day the same way I spend every Valentine's Day. Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, taking it home, standing over the sink and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

Y/N: Okay, so to sum up: one giant marble horse, one asinine comment, one lonely man and his chicken. And let's see, who's left? Oh, that's right. My plans. Isn't anyone going to ask?

Raj: Fine, tell us you're going to have sex with Penny.

Y/N: That's not what I was going to tell you.

Raj: It's okay. I don't mind hearing about your sex life. It's his that bugs me.

Y/N: You know how this year the Nobel Prize ceremony this year was pushed back, and is now a day after Valentine's Day?