Why I Won't Forget You

Repeated history

The night was filled with music, laughter, and a sort of wild energy as Clarke and Lexa rejoined the group. The atmosphere had shifted from the quiet bonding by the pool to a full-blown party, with people dancing, joking around, and knocking back drinks. Clarke didn't mind at first; it was a good distraction, and Lexa seemed to be having fun, too. But then Raven, ever the instigator, decided it was time for a drinking game.

"Alright, everyone, gather 'round!" Raven shouted, her eyes gleaming mischievously as she lined up shot glasses on the table. "We're playing 'Never Have I Ever.' Classic, right?"

The group, already buzzed, cheered in response, gathering around as Raven explained the rules. Clarke hovered near the edge of the group, feeling a slight unease creeping in, but she tried to shake it off. It was just a game, after all.

Lexa, who was usually composed and in control, had been steadily drinking throughout the night. Clarke could tell she was getting drunk, her movements looser, her laughter more carefree. She didn't know why, but seeing Lexa like that made something inside Clarke tighten.

As the game went on, the questions became bolder, and the shots kept coming. Lexa was laughing, cheeks flushed, as she took another drink. Clarke watched her, the uneasy feeling in her chest growing stronger.

Then Jona, who had already had his fair share of shots, leaned in with a grin. "Alright, who's next? Lexa, you've gotta drink again!"

Lexa downed another shot, giggling slightly, and Clarke's hands clenched into fists. She couldn't ignore the rising panic inside her, the way the scene in front of her was starting to feel all too familiar.

It was like a trigger. The laughter, the drinks, the carefree atmosphere—it reminded Clarke of that night. The night Noah had gone too far, had drunk too much and had never woken up.

"Maybe we should slow down," Clarke muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

But Jona didn't seem to hear. "Come on, Clarke! Don't be a buzzkill. It's just a game. Let Lexa have fun!"

Something in Clarke snapped.

"Fun?" she said sharply, her voice rising. "You think this is fun, Jona? Do you even know what you're doing?"

Jona blinked at her, clearly surprised by her outburst. "Whoa, Clarke, chill out. It's just a drinking game."

Clarke's heart pounded in her chest, anger flaring in her veins. "You have no idea what you're talking about. People die because of 'just a game,' Jona. People lose everything because of stupid, reckless drinking like this."

The entire group went quiet, all eyes turning to Clarke. Lexa looked at her, confusion and concern clouding her features, but Clarke didn't care. Her mind was already spiraling, the memories of Noah flooding back. The drinking, the laughter, and then the sudden, irreversible loss.

Jona held up his hands, trying to diffuse the situation. "Clarke, come on. It's not that serious."

"Not that serious?" Clarke repeated, her voice shaking with rage. "Do you even realise what could happen? Do you even care?"

Jona opened his mouth to respond, but Clarke cut him off. "No. I'm done with this. Lexa, come on. We're leaving."

Clarke stormed away from the group, her grip tight around Lexa's hand as they moved through the dark, humid night. Her mind raced, her heart thudding against her chest, the image of Lexa laughing and drinking replaying over and over again, mixing with haunting flashes of Noah's last night. She couldn't shake it, couldn't stop the anger bubbling inside her. Jona's nonchalance was the final trigger.

Behind them, the group remained silent, too shocked to respond to Clarke's sudden outburst. Lexa stumbled as she tried to keep up, clearly tipsy, her usually sharp, confident steps unsteady.

"Clarke," Lexa mumbled, but Clarke didn't respond, her jaw clenched as she led Lexa out to the car. Dany and the others followed, exchanging worried looks, unsure of how to handle Clarke's sudden fury.

By the time they reached the car, Clarke's hands were shaking, but she stayed focused, getting everyone into the car and pulling out of the driveway, leaving the remnants of the party behind them. The drive was silent except for the soft breathing of Lexa, who was dozing in the passenger seat. Dany sat behind Clarke, watching her friend closely, knowing there was more behind this than just a drinking game.

Once they reached Clarke's house, the tension still hung in the air. Clarke helped Lexa out of the car, guiding her into the house. Lexa leaned heavily on Clarke, her head resting against her shoulder.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Clarke muttered, her voice softer now. Despite her anger, seeing Lexa like this, vulnerable, brought out a different kind of protectiveness in her.

Lexa mumbled something incoherent, eyes half-closed, but she followed Clarke upstairs to her room. Clarke lowered her onto the bed, careful to keep Lexa comfortable. Lexa collapsed against the mattress, letting out a soft sigh as she lay down, her eyes fluttering shut.

For a moment, Clarke stood there, watching her. Lexa's usual self-assured demeanour was gone, replaced by the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she fell deeper into sleep. Clarke brushed a stray lock of hair away from Lexa's face, her mind still racing.

After making sure her friends were settled in the guest rooms, Clarke returned to her room, the weight of everything finally crashing down on her. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking over at Lexa, who was still asleep, peaceful now. Her heart pounded in her chest as she thought about Noah, about how Jona had made light of something so dangerous.

It had all come flooding back—Noah's last night, the drinking, the laughter, how it all ended so suddenly, so brutally. Watching Lexa get drunk had triggered something deep inside her, and she hated it. She hated how scared it made her, how angry it made her.

She let out a long, shaky breath and lay down next to Lexa. She didn't want to wake her, so she kept her distance, but being near her brought an unexpected sense of calm. The argument with Jona still lingered in her mind, but now that she was away from it, the fire in her chest began to simmer.

Clarke stared up at the ceiling, listening to Lexa's soft breathing. The events of the night played in her mind, mixed with memories of Noah. She wasn't angry at Lexa. She wasn't even really angry at Jona. It was just... everything. The loss, the guilt, the fear of losing anyone else. And for some reason, Lexa being at the center of it all tonight made Clarke feel even more protective.

Eventually, exhaustion began to take over, and Clarke's eyes grew heavy. She fell asleep beside Lexa, still feeling the weight of everything but too tired to fight it anymore.

Downstairs, the rest of the group sat in the living room, unsure of what to say. Jona, usually confident and loud, sat quietly, her fingers tapping against her leg as she processed Clarke's outburst. Dany was the first to break the silence.

"She's just... It's not about you, Jona. You know that, right?"

Jona nodded, though her expression was clouded with guilt. "I know. I just... I didn't think she'd react like that. I mean, we were all just having fun."

Dany sighed. "You know how she gets. Especially when it comes to—" She cut herself off, glancing toward the stairs where Clarke and Lexa had gone.

"Especially when it comes to Noah," Jona finished quietly.

The group sat in silence, the weight of the past hanging heavily between them. They all knew Clarke had been struggling ever since Noah's death, but tonight had been the first time in a while they'd seen her break like that.

They didn't know how to fix it, but for now, all they could do was give her space.

Meanwhile, Clarke drifted in and out of sleep, the memories of Noah and the night's events still weighing heavily on her mind. She had overreacted, she knew that, but the fear that something would happen to Lexa—or anyone else she cared about—had been too much to bear.
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