MY BEST FRIEND IS A SECRET AGENT, Book 1: How Chip Became CHIP and Foiled the...

Chapter 8: "More Female Trouble"

The next day at school, I was really distracted.

The reprogramming test on Chip had gone well, but the only real way to test the new C.H.I.P. programming would be during a real-life crazy bad guy attack. And who knew when that was going to happen? I mean, I didn't want it to happen, but until it did, I'd be waiting in suspense.

And what if it happened and the new C.H.I.P. didn't work?!

This whole thing was driving me crazy. I couldn't think straight. In science class, I even forgot the molecular formula for potassium dihydrogen phosphate! Me, Nort McKrakken! There I was, standing in front of the class, presenting my latest project (a hamster-powered washing machine – I'll tell you later), and I went blank.

Nobody said anything, but I could tell they were laughing on the inside. And the main one laughing on the inside was Gert von Brugen. Actually, she was laughing on the outside too.

After class, Gert followed me to the cafeteria. I just wanted to sit with Chip and drown my sorrows in chocolate milk, but she kept pestering me. "What're you working on, Nort? I know it's something big. You're usually only distracted like this when it's something big."

I told her I was sick of her trying to steal my science ideas and she should take a hike. (I couldn't believe both Gert and Stella were trying to nose in on my latest, greatest project. What is it with girls?)

That's when things got a little weird. Gert said she saw me when I was bragging to Carla before (but fortunately didn't hear what I was saying). "But why should you tell Carla?" she asked. "You should tell me! Carla wouldn't appreciate it the way I would! I mean, she probably doesn't even know the periodic table!"

Just think about the implications of this. What if Gert von Brugen knew about C.H.I.P.? She'd probably try to take control of the whole operation. And she wouldn't use him to fight crazy bad guys; she'd probably turn him into the ultimate henchman so she could become a crazy bad guy! The most powerful crazy bad guy in the world!

Gert von Brugen would have ultimate power, and the first thing she'd do with that power is make me her boyfriend!

So, I'm sure you can see that, for national security reasons, I could never breathe a word about C.H.I.P. to Gert von Brugen. And for personal reasons too. I mean – yech!

But then Chip did something that almost blew it for both of us. Someone at another table dared him to open a bottle with his teeth. Without thinking (when does he ever?), he started to yank off the bottle cap with his front teeth – including the chipped one! The one with the C.H.I.P. on it!

Thankfully, the tooth didn't break, but all that pressure briefly activated the C.H.I.P, and for a second it glowed.

Nobody said anything... but I think Gert noticed.

Chip and I got out of there fast. But I wondered if Gert really saw the glowing tooth and if that got her thinking.

And thinking is the one thing you never want to get Gert von Brugen to do.