MY BEST FRIEND IS A SECRET AGENT, Book 1: How Chip Became CHIP and Foiled the...

Chapter 16: "A Dissatisfied Customer"

It turned out that finding C.H.I.P. wasn't that hard 'cause we both got locked up in the same high-tech jail cell surrounded by lasers. One false move and FZZZT!

C.H.I.P. became the cat burglar who earlier broke into the Cheesemobile, and he tried to find a way out, but we were stuck for good. This was hard for him to accept since he was programmed to be able to have any skill, but there was no skill that was going to get us out of this cell!

But then we heard a noise down the hall. It was the sound of someone walking, but the first thing we saw was a bunch of Freaky Fuzzies crawling along. Then, like a king surrounded by his soldiers, Seth Mindwarp appeared, and he stared right at us with his intense, beady eyes.

I could tell he was really pleased with himself. His Freaky Fuzzies were taking over the city. Soon they'd take over the world. My dad couldn't stop him. C.H.I.P. couldn't stop him. I guess he figured nobody could stop him now.

"Welcome to the new world order, gentlemen." Wow – he called us gentlemen. That felt kind of cool, especially since just a few weeks before I'd been called "nerdlinger" by Corey Smertz while he was stuffing me into my locker.

Seth Mindwarp went on to tell us about his big plans for his Freaky Fuzzies. He said that originally he had no intention of giving them mind-control abilities. All he wanted was for every kid in the world to own a Freaky Fuzzy. After all, it was the world's most crazy fantastic toy, right? "But parents didn't cooperate," he said. "They insisted on buying their children video games and blocks and train sets. But a child with a Freaky Fuzzy doesn't need any other toy! A Freaky Fuzzy brings hours and hours of joy! So why didn't all the parents just buy it?!"

C.H.I.P. and I looked at each other. Yep, this guy was loopy.

So this was Seth Mindwarp's plan. People don't buy your toy so you brainwash their children and take over the world. And we're the ones with the problem.

"But I now see that this was my destiny all along," he said. "Freaky Fuzzies aren't just toys, they are a way to save the world! In a Freaky Fuzzy world, there will be no fighting or pain or disorder. In a Freaky Fuzzy world, the whole world will be of one mind! MINE!"

I could see it now. A future with nothing but Freaky Fuzzies and their kid owners following them blindly. Somewhere, all the parents would be locked up, guarded by a horde of Freaky Fuzzies.

C.H.I.P. and I had to stop this. We had to stop Seth Mindwarp for good.

But how??

Suddenly, a bell went off. It sounded like a doorbell. Weird. Who would be ringing the bell of Mindwarp Industries at this time of night? Seth got all annoyed and left the hallway, followed by most of his Freaky Fuzzies while some stayed behind to guard us. C.H.I.P. and I wondered what was going on.

We couldn't see this, but it was Gert von Brugen at the door! She had a Freaky Fuzzy of her own, and it had broken down. Now she wanted a refund from Seth Mindwarp himself! Seth told her to call Mindwarp Industries in the morning and slammed the door on her.

Gert was shocked and offended. "The customer service at this company is atrocious!" But as she stormed off, she tripped over something and almost fell flat on her face.

It was my phone!

Gert picked it up, annoyed. Then she turned it on... and realized it was mine. "Nort McKrakken?! What's he doing here? Wait a minute... is he working with Seth Mindwarp?" She sat down and started to think...

Meanwhile, C.H.I.P. and I were trying everything to get out of our jail cell. But we were still getting nowhere. There was no way out of this place! And to make things worse, the Freaky Fuzzies were talking to us.

"Why do you want to leave?"

"Freaky Fuzzies are your friends."

"We love you! Don't you love us too?"

Then they all started looking at us with those weird eyes. They were trying to hypnotize us!

I closed my eyes and turned away. But then I noticed C.H.I.P. getting hypnotized! I couldn't believe that the Freaky Fuzzies could even hijack C.H.I.P.'s brain! I grabbed him and shouted, "Close your eyes!" So he did... but the Fuzzies kept on talking.

"Don't you like us? We're your friends. If you love us, you'll be happy... forever!"

"AAAAHHH!!!" I screamed! I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled, "I don't love Freaky Fuzzies! I hate them! Go away!" Suddenly, the Freaky Fuzzies got all confused. They started wandering around like they didn't know what to do. It's like their programming was freaking out or something.

I realized I was onto something. So I started yelling at them some more, and I got C.H.I.P. to yell at them too. We just went on and on about how much we didn't want them to be our friends.

And they just couldn't take it. Then they started to stray into the laser bars of our jail cell! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! They were frying themselves, one after another!

And this was causing the lasers to fritz out too!

I couldn't believe it – the Freaky Fuzzies were breaking us out of jail!