At the tailor's - EruRi

Chapter 9

Exactly 9 days passed since Erwin and and the Survey Corps left. I was alone in the HQ. There were only guards outside, making sure that no one would steal something. 9 days... 9 long days without Erwin. I was sitting on the bed, on the side Erwin usually slept on. Right in front of me was a window. I passed hours over hours starring outside, waiting for them to come back. They should've been back yesterday. But they didn't come back...
I was really pale. I didn't eat. I was mentally too unstable to eat. I knew that I would be getting sick again and Erwin would get mad... But will Erwin ever come back to me? I embrassed myself, wraping my own arms around my waist. I started sobing. Without Erwin I was just lost. Alone. I was done. I was scared he would never come back. I was scared that he had died. I wanted to live my life with him. I kept repeating to myself loudly "Maybe they're just late... maybe they're just late... that's all..." But I knew that something had happened.
I whiped away my tears. I got up. I knew, that crying wouldn't help at all. I had to stay strong. That's what Erwin would have wanted me to do... Hope is the last thing to die, people kept repeating to me my whole life. So I decided to keep hoping and praying.
More days passed... Erwin didn't return yet. I had still hope, but then someone knocked at the door. I went opening it. It was one of the guards.
"What can I do for you?...", I asked.
"I'm sorry to comunicate to you, that the soldiers from the Survey Corps will probably never come back...", He said.
"That's not possible.. maybe they just got lost! It can't be... They are alive, I know...", I was desperated...
"4 days passed since the day they should've come back... after 3 days they are claimed missing. They don't have enough food out there. No food, no strenght... No strenght no ability to fight the titans... I'm sorry.", then the guard left.
I just stood there, petrafied. I was looking straight in front of me. My eyes lost their shine. My skin went paler. Erwin had not kept the promise of getting married with me. I wouldn't see him ever again. Hope is the last thing that dies... But it does die. My hope suddenly died. I felt weak. I was confused. I was so mentally done, that I didn't even manage to shed one tear. I was sad. Really sad. I didn't know what to do. I was lost. Next thing, I fell on my knees. I stared to the ground for good 5 minutes. Then I realized the situation and lost control of myself. "YOU PROMISED ME TO COME BACK!!!" I cried out... "YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULS MARRY ME!!! YOU PROMISED ME TO KEEP THE PROMISE!!!" I cried harder and harder. "You said you loved me... YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!!! THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME????!!!!!" I wasn't in control of myself anymore. My hands were shaking. Letting myself fall on the cold floor, I kept crying and crying for hours, till I didn't have one tear left in my eyes.

The next day I was packing some essential stuff. I was going to leave. I was going to do what Erwin would have wanted me to do: Build up a new life... I didn't have any documents. If a policeman would have wanted to check my identity, I would have been sent straight to jail. But I didn't care. I couldn't just stand there, crying over my loss and die alone... To be honest, that was what I wanted to do if it was for me... But I followed my heart. I threw my package behind my back and left the HQ. I was about to start a new life. But I promised myself to not let anyone get near me. I promised myself to never love anyone again.

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One year passed. I had a work in a bar where men used to go on the evenings to have a beer. There were also prostitutes but this time I was just working there, taking orders and pouring them alcohol in their glasses. That was all. Sadly, I didn't have a proper home. I found a place to sleep in an abandoned house. I stayed there when I didn't have to work, so I wouldn't get caught by the police. With my loan I couldn't afford anything... I was poor as f*ck. People were always looking down on me.
I missed Erwin. There wasn't a day where I didn't think of him. I always cried myself to sleep. I was brought to the surfice to have a better life, but instead my life kept being awful. I had suicidal toughts. But I didn't dare to kill myself. Somehow, I still had hope that Erwin would come back. I hoped that he would come back and marry me.

One day, while I was standing at the bar, the police broke in and pointed their guns on us. "HANDS UP!!!", one of them shouted. Me and everyone in the Bar did as they asked. "We know that a young man called Levi Ackerman is here. He escaped from the underground and will have to pay for being disobedient to out mighty king! Tell us where he is, or we'll kill everyone in this disgusting bar!"
I didn't want anyone to get hurt... Was I going to be killed? I didn't care anymore to be honest. I put my arms down and walked over to the police. I didn't care what would happen to me anymore. "It's me. I'm the one you're looking for." They instantly tied me up to bring me to jail. I saw that everyone in the bar was glaring at me. As if I was an alien or something...
When we arrived to jail, they undressed me. Then before throwing me in the cellar, they beat me up really badly. In the cellar I had a lot of pain. I sat there in the corner and starred outside. There were other men like me in the same cellar. Maybe they were all from the underground. I knew their faces. What was going to happen to us? I was cold. "Thank you for everything you Erwin... I hope you're still alive... and honestly... I hope that I will be safed from you... one more time..." I muttered to myself, so only I could hear myself.
In the night, I suffered a lot because it was cold. Many times I started crying but no one cared... Everyone was. I was hungry and feeling really sick.
As soon as the sun rose, a man that seemed to be rich came to the cellar. We all looked up to him. "Hello, you all look terrified. Don't worry, you won't get killed yet. I bought you guys. You are all my slaves now. One of you will be my special slave... but I will pick that one after I had a closer look at you."
I knew what he meant with "special slave"... I didn't want to be that special slave. But in the end if he wanted me to, I had to, unless I wanted to be killed.
We got tied up again and lead out of the cellar. We stood in a row. The rich man had a gun in his hand. He took close look to all of us. We were 20. When he stopped by the 5th, he shot him in the head. My eyes went wide open. We were all really scared. Our life didn't have any value anymore... he shot 2 more... 3 more... He shot all the ones that didn't look healthy. I wasn't healthy myself... I was going to die. He stopped by me. I was too scared to look into his eyes. I was shaking. I saw him rising his hand, I tought he was going to shoot me in the head, but instead he just placed his hand on my head. "You are my special slave"he said.. then carried on. No...no NO I didn't want that. If that was so I prefered to be shot! He kept shooting the ones he didn't like. At the end we were only 9 left. The remaining slaves were put in a row and connected to each other and to a horse. The rich man pulled me to the horse, and helped me to get on top of it. Then he got on it right behind me and covered my nacked body with a blanket. I felt sorry for the others, but also for myself.
As the horse started walking, the others were pulled and had to walk behind it really fastly. The rich man held me with one hand and lead the horse with the other hand.
"Can I ask a question, master?...", I asked.
"Yes. But the next time wait 'till I give you permission to talk. You can talk now."
"T-thank you, I will... I just wanted to ask what being your special slave consists of..."
"It consists of cleaning my house, cooking for me, sleeping in the same bed with me and you will have to do anything I ask you for. Your body belongs to me now."
I knew it. I didn't want it... It was like betraying Erwin to me... "Y-yes, master..." I was about to say shoot me master but I didn't. I didn't want to die yet.
When we arrived to the villa of the rich man, I felt fear. I wanted to run away. But I couldn't...