I Just Wanted the Remote...

Confessions Part ll

I looked at Cody, my heart beating out of my chest.  “What are you talking about?” I stuttered.  He looked at me and he looked away just as quickly.  “Well, you’re my half-sister.” He corrected.  “When our mom had me, she couldn’t take care of me.  She was too young, so she let a family friend adopt me because they couldn’t have kids.”

                “You said half-sister—”

He held up his hand, “I’m getting to that.  I’m from her first love.  Jerry Spruce.  They met in Europe, and they never married.  They were together until I turned a year old, then Jerry killed himself.  Overdosed on Oxy Cotton’s.  I never got the full story about that.  I never had anyone to tell me.  Then about a year later, she meet’s John Foster.  Your dad.” He paused to take a breath and continued.  “You were conceived not to long after they met.  They soon married after Farrah became pregnant with you.  Once you were born, they didn’t get much time together, so they declared date night every Friday night.  They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.  We were split apart within a week.  My parents now made sure we stayed close by.”  When he finished, he just stared at me, and I stared back.  Everyone was completely quiet.

                I felt Leah grip my hand tightly as a tear cascaded down my cheek.  “Wow.” Was all I could let escape my lips.  I wiped the tear away and looked down.  This information is hard to swallow.  I looked to Leah, and whispered, “I got to go.”  She nodded and let go, and I stood.  I walked away from the circle, and found myself heading to the dock.  I stood at the edge of the dock, just breathing and looking at the moon illuminating the lake waters.  I cried silently, thinking my whole life has been a lie.  I don’t even know what to do with myself at this point.

                I eventually stopped crying, and I just stood there, staring at the lake.  I could hear someone start walking up behind me, and they placed their warm hand on my shoulder.  I knew it was a guy’s hand, by the way it felt.  I figured it was Aaron or Hayden.  “I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”  Cody’s voice came up behind me.  I quickly wiped my tears away and turned to face him, I shook my head, “its okay, Cody.  I’m glad you told me.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder, and bent a little to look into my eyes.  He gave me a sly smile and pinched my cheek, “Don’t cry.  You're way too beautiful to cry.”

I gave him a weak smile, “Thank you.” I wiped the remaining of the tears left, away.  He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, “I know we aren’t the closest, but I’m always going to be here for you, J.”

                “Thank you, Cody.”

He left a kiss on the top of my head, and dropped his arm. 

                We walked back to the fire, and everything was tense and quiet.  I took a seat next to Aaron, and he nudged my arm.  He gave me a look, asking if I’m okay.  I tried to smile and I nodded to assure him.  I mean, I am okay.  I’m just in shock.  But I’m sure I’ll be fine, I always am.  Our last night being here and everything, they wanted to go out to this party they heard about.  I stayed behind, not feeling like going.  Also, parties aren't my scene.  I was sitting at the edge of the bed, with my head in my hands.  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  “You okay?” Kale’s voice came floating in the room.  I jumped a little, and looked up.  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”  He stood there and opened his arms, giving me a smile.

                I stood up and quickly walked into them.  I needed that.  I breathed him in, and his scent is intoxicating.  I felt the tears sting my eyes, realizing I didn’t want to let Kale go.  I wasn’t ready.  “I’m so sorry, Kale.”

                “Jenny, don’t—”

I pulled away from him and rested my hands on his sides, “I don’t want this for us.”

                “There is no ‘us’ anymore.  Stop talking like there is.” He said softly.  All the hurt showed on his face.  I’m a horrible person, and I’m not afraid to admit that.  I’m not proud of it.

                “I understand if you don’t want to give me another chance after what I’ve done to you.  You probably don’t even want to be in the same room with me.  But I didn’t want this.  I do love you, Kale.”

He lifted his hand, and cupped the side of my face.  He stroked his thumb softly over my jawline and stared into my eyes, searching for something.  “You need time, Jenny.” He said quietly.  “Your feelings are confused.  And as much as I want to be with you, I can’t.  I might show that it doesn’t hurt as much, but it’s killing me inside.  I wasn’t okay with it.  I’m still not okay with it.  I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be.  Because I know you love Aaron, and I know that’s where you’ll end up.  I don’t want to be hurt like that again.  I don’t mean to sound like a dick, I really don’t.  I love you, Jenny.  But I can’t.  I’m sorry.”

I let a tear fall, and he wiped it away. “Don’t cry.” He whispered.

                “I’ll be fine.  Hayden’s calling you.”

He cupped my face, and brought my forehead to his lips for a few seconds.  He didn’t tell me bye or anything when he left.  I really messed this up, and I do regret the decision, even if it was for the best.  I wasn’t being selfish, but sometimes I feel like I should be.

I was lying in bed by myself, watching White Chicks.  I had a small quart of chocolate mint ice cream, so I was okay.  The house was quiet since everyone was gone, and I liked it.  I wasn’t thinking too much about anything, I was completely numb right now.  There was a light knock on the bedroom door.  I didn’t think anyone was here.  I yelled for the person to come in, and wouldn’t know it?  Aaron stepped in the door, and I couldn’t help but smile a little.  “What are you doing here?”

He circled his finger over his face, “Sick.” He laughed a little.

I bit my bottom lip, remembering that night.  “Oops?”

                “I’m okay.” He chuckled and walked to my side of the bed.  “Are you though?”  He poked my cheek like a child, making me laugh.  I nodded, “Yeah.  I think I’ll be fine.  Thanks.”

                “Just checking on you, babe.”

I patted the spot next to me, “You should join me.  I really don’t want to be alone.”

Instead of walking around to the other side, he went over me.  But before landing on the other side, he hovered over me for a second.  “You don’t look bad from this angle.” He smirked.

I shrugged, “I didn’t think I ever did.”

                “You have your moments.”

I pushed him off of me, and onto the other side, “Way to make a girl feel special, asshole.”

He began laughing, “You know I’m just kidding, J.  Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

                “You better be.” I laughed.

Being next to Aaron, just goofing off like nothing’s wrong, is what I need.

 I'm sorry it's been like, three months.  I have something posted stating everything!  So I'm really sorry.  I know it's short and boring, but I had to do something for you guys.  The fans that have stuck with me from the beginning, thank you so much. : )<3  I'ma try and update as much as possible, but no promises because I'm going through alot right now.  So bare with me, please?  I'm going to try and update She Will Be Loved, since it's been like six months since I've updated that one.  I might put it on hold though, because I'm not a big fan of it. ahaha.

Song: Hero/Heroine: BLG