The Last of the Guardians Part 1 - A Hobbit Fan Fiction

Chapter 20

***Hey! I don't know what happened in this chapter - it just sort of...rolled away from me. But I hope you like it! Special thanks to Midnight_Shadowess because her Hobbit fan fiction is just plain fabulous! Plus, she dedicated a chapter of it to me which makes me feel fabulous too. Thanks again for that! :D Happy reading!***

The only sound that could be heard inside the cave was the roaring of the wind and the rain as it pounded the ledge outside, and of the very loud snoring of the dwarves. Out of the two, Bilbo couldn't decide which was the loudest. He was exhausted - and yet he could not sleep. It was not the wind and the rain that kept him awake. Nor was it the snoring. It was his fear of dying that kept him conscious, and shivering in the dark.

Bilbo could not stop thinking of the dragon they were to face. "Think furnace. With wings," Bofur had said. He very much did not want to be burned alive. Nor did he want to be eaten by the wargs that had been stalking them since before Rivendell. Bilbo relived, in his head, the moment when he had lost his footing and had had to hold on by his fingertips, not knowing if the dwarves would notice his absence or whether he would fall to his death, lost forever.

The hobbit was also thinking of how comfotable his bed would be right now, with its fresh sheets and soft blankets offering warmth and security. He could be in it right now, finishing a book by candlelight, or examining one of his maps before he went to sleep, or even slipping off to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Oh, how he wanted to be back in Hobbiton. He missed the green, rolling hills of the Shire, and the bitter taste of freshly brewed ale from the tavern. He missed the warmth of the nights, he missed the bright sunshine of the days, and visiting his friends around Hobbiton. He could go back. He could return home and the dwarves would be none the wiser.

Bilbo sat up suddenly. Yes, he could leave. No one was stopping him. Nema had left, so why couldn't he? Bilbo now believed that Nema had also been missing home - wherever that was for her - and that she had left to return there. Quietly as he could, Bilbo rolled up his blanket and strapped it to his satchel. He buttoned up his coat and picked up his staff. Bilbo looked around him at the sleeping dwarves for one last time, silently bidding farewell to them all. He then made his way between them and headed towards the cave entrance, but before he could reach it, a voice broke the silence.

"Where d'you think you're going?" asked Bofur quietly. He had been sitting in a small alcove and had been watching Bilbo tossing and turning as he had tried to get to sleep.

"Back to Rivendell." Bilbo's shoulders drooped. He had hoped to avoid this.

"No!" Bofur gasped, leaping up and picking his way between his sleeping comrades to get closer to Bilbo. "You can't turn back now, you're part of the company! You're one of us!"

"I'm not though, am I?" sighed Bilbo. "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right."

Thorin remained silent, pretending to be asleep. He listened as Bilbo went on."I'm no Took - I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking. Should never have run out my door." Bilbo tapped his staff against the rocky ground. He was feeling intensely guilty for some reason. Perhaps it was because Bofur had always been kind to him, and leaving now almost felt like a betrayal.

"You're homesick!" exclaimed the dwarf, smiling at Bilbo to comfort him, "I understand."

"No, you don't! None of you do," said Bilbo, shaking his fist in frustration. "You're dwarves! You're used to...to this life - to living on the road, never settling in one place. Not belonging anywhere!"

Bofur had no reply to that. Bilbo's words cut through him like a knife and left an ache in his chest to match the pain he felt from losing Nema.

The dwarf's face fell and Bilbo wished instantly that he could take his words back. He hadn't meant them to sound as they had. He ducked his head for a moment, searching for some way to make it better. But what was done was done. "Look...I...I am sorry..." he said slowly, then cleared his throat and looked away.