Not A Game | Phan AU

Talk About It | VII

He stood with his back to the door, so my only option of escape was gone. I backed against the opposite wall, visibly shaking. I couldn't handle any more of Phil's words, or his beatings. If he continued this, I'd make sure I never woke up. He started walking towards me and I pressed myself flatter against the wall. Now he was face to face with me and I could feel his breath on the side of my face.

"Dan... I am really really sorry and I hope that you know this. I never meant for you to take what I said seriously, I just, I don't even know why I said it. I don't know why I continued to hurt you. I could tell you were getting worse and yet I didn't stop. I never should've started. You're a beautiful human Dan and I was not someone that should've told you differently. You have to understand, I'm so so sorry and I know you won't be able to forgive me right away, but please. Please, Dan, try?"

By the end of his speech, I was so angry I could've killed him right there.

"No, Phil, you meant to do this. You knew it was hurting me and YOU CONTINUED TO DO IT. You wanted me to die on that road and everything you did and said back in that room was such bullshit I was in a coma and I could tell. You didn't fool me Phil. You did this. You made me try to kill myself. You made me feel like such shit and I hate you for it. You made me spiral into depression, you made me hurt myself and you meant to do it."

By the time I was done with my speech back, Phil had tears on his face and he reached out, grabbing my wrist before I could pull it away. He rolled my sleeve up and looked at the numerous cuts, which had increased to equal more than 30.

"I'm sorry, Dan. I never meant for this to happen, you have to understand." He whispered.

"That's fucking bullshit Phil, and we both know it."

I walked around Phil and made my way to the door before I was stopped, again, by him grabbing my wrist. He said nothing but I knew what he was thinking.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Phil Lester."

With those last, harsh words, I yanked my wrist out of his light grip and left the bathroom, collapsing outside the doors. One of the nurses noticed and knelt down by me.

"Sir, are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine. Just confused."

"Oh... Well my shift just ended... Wanna go get coffee and talk about it?"