With a groan I open my eyes to a sterile white ceiling and the smell of rubbing alcohol and cheep incense. I take a deep breath as my body contracts and the stupid beeping picks up speed, matching the pace of my nervousness.
"Jenna?" I hear a soft voice and I slowly open my eyes to a worried, sleep deprived Paul.
"What time is it? Y-You're supposed to be in school." I blurt before I could even comprehend the situation I'm in right now. His good natured chuckle and happy sniffle is enough to calm my erratic heart. I look Paul's face over and unintentionally stroke his jaw line.
"You're such a worry wart." I mumble, letting my hand fall and his face fade as I close my eyes in fatigue.
"Don't worry about it. Jared's been bringing me my work." He says and I hear a chair scrape against the floor. I open my foggy eyes to see him leaning against my bed, head resting on his hands. I smile a little and rest my hand on the back of his head, playing with his short hair.
"Get some sleep." I mumble and hear him scoff.
"That's my line." He says with an equally exhausted voice, making my smile widen. The blissful moment doesn't last long, however, because a doctor walks in the room and Paul's head shoots up, making my pulse quicken a little.
"Are you okay?" Paul asks me frantically, hearing the difference in the heart monitor's beeps.
"Yeah. I've got White Coat Syndrome." I smile and sit up in the hospital bed as the middle aged man with brown hair and a goatee smiles back in good nature.
"Ah, there's nothing to be afraid of. I don't bite." He offers and I chuckle a little and nod.
"Yeah but you guys always seem to bring biting news." I carelessly throw out.
"Jenna." Paul tries.
"What, isn't it just eating you up inside?" I continue and neither of them say anything.
"What, bite off more than you can chew?" I finally stop with my biting sarcasm and look at my sheets before back up at the doc.
"Paul..." I mumble and look over to him. "You should wait outside." I say finally and Paul looks between the doctor and I.
"What? No, no I'm gonna stay here with you-"
"Paul, please." My voice cracks and he looks like a beaten puppy, making my throat close up and my heart skip a beat. The stupid heart monitor made that pretty freaking clear.
He stands up slowly and grabs the back of my neck and I close my eyes as his scorching lips press against my forehead. My heart races a little more, along with the beeping.
I watch him leave the room and not until the door closes completely do I look to the doctor.
"So." I clear my throat, my brain finally clearing up.
"How much time did it shave off." I ask him and his eyes sadden.
"Quite a lot." He says regretfully and I nod, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes.
"By the looks of it, your heart has always been weak, with the added stress of your extreme case of ADHD, there's not much we can do. Unless your willing to consider a pace maker-"
"I'm not eligible." I cut the doctor off.
"Are you sure? Have you-"
"I've looked into it more times then you've dreamed about recommending it doc. I've gone to the freaking black market, I've considered selling government secrets." I stretch the truth just a little.
"I'm not eligible." I tell him, looking out the window to the cloudy scenery.
"And quite frankly, I'm not really the selfish type. I only did it cause of my mother." I admit, remembering that absolutely shattered look on her face. That's why I can't have Paul in here. I can't see that look on his face too.
"You should tell your boyfriend." He says and I look to him in confusion.
"Paul. You two look like you care for each other." He finalized and leaves the room. I stare at my hands on my lap, letting the frustrated tears drop onto the scratchy sheets. I think I'd miss Paul the most.
"Jenna?" Paul's voice rings and I sniffle, rubbing my eyes quickly and looking towards the window so he couldn't see my face.
"Ah, bad news again." I chuckle though this situation was anything but light.
"It's all good though. Breathing sucks some major shit any ways." I nod.
"It's not like I'm that important anyway." I breathe out, voicing the thoughts I've kept inside of me to keep from going insane.
"Looks like I'm gonna bite the dust huh?"
"Jenna."
"I've gotta stop with these bad puns."
"Jenna."
"They're a little tough to chew."
"Jenna!" Paul shouts, grabbing my arms and shaking me a little to make me look at him. His eyes are tearing up.
"It's okay." His voice cracks and my throat closes up, making my nose sting and eyes water.
"It's okay to be scared." He whispers and my body starts shaking. Not from the painful adrenaline spikes I'm so used to. From the sheer, naked terror that I've tried so hard to ignore.
The tears pour out of my eyes as my lungs refuse to work right. Paul brings me into a tight embrace and I shake and cry and scream and sob in the most ugliest, painful way.
"I-I-I-I'm sc-care-ed P-Paul!" I hyperventilate. "I-I don-n't wa-ant to die!"
YOU ARE READING
In This Life ○ Paul Lahote
Fanfiction"You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." I do not own Twilight
