Okay I Promise This Will Be A Even Longer Chapter ._. ..
~Thursday Night 7:45 pm ~
Today Was A Rainy Day.. And That Meant Trouble Or Sadness ..
I Was Currently Staring Out Of The Window Trying To Keep My Thoughts Together.. And Only One Person Was On My Mind..
My mother.
I Hadn't Heard From Her In 3 Weeks And I Was Officially Getting Nervous
Sometimes I Disliked My Mother But I Had Nothing But Love For Her..
I Wanted To Know If She Was Taking Her Pills, Going To Her Regular Therapy Sessions And Laying Off Of The Alcohol And Drugs ..
I Wanted To Make Sure She Was Safe..
As A Child I Worried About A lot Of Things, just Like An Adult. Which I Really Wasn't Suppose Too.
My Grandma Once Asked Me If I Was Happy, And To Be Honest I Didn't Know How To Respond To That. I Didn't Even Know What That Word Actually Meant
Happy..? Doesn't Even Sound Real
I Didn't Have Any Idea What Love Meant Either
Sure I've Seen It On TV.. Watching Movies Like Love Jones, Soul Food , And Love And Basketball
But I Didn't Know How It Felt To Be Loved.. To Be Cared For.. I Never Actually Believed Anyone Loved Me At That Time
All of Sudden The House Phone Rang Taking Me Out Of My Thoughts . I Quickly Ran Off The Couch And Picked Up The Phone Not Bothering To Look At The Caller ID
"Ma , You Okay?"
"Myanna ? .. Hey Baby... H-How Are You Doing ?"
I Frowned And Looked At The Phone.. My Mom Didnt Sound Like Herself.. She Sounded Beat Down.. And Tired
"I'm Fine, You Alright ? You Sound Different , You Need Me To Tell Nana To Bring Me Dow-"
"NO! D-Dont Do That I'm Fine.. Look .. Just Tell Nana To Call Me Back Later Okay? I Love You Myanna "
And With That We Hung Up..
There Was Something Different About my Mom.. She didn't Sound Like She Was Getting Better At All.. She Sounded Like She Was Getting Worse .
I Wanted More Than Anything To Go Back Down To St.Louis To Visit Her. I Wanted To Give Her The Love She Deserved .. But The Only Problem Was I Didn't Know How To Do That.
To Be Honest I Didnt Think My Mom Knew What Love Was Either .
I Got Down On My Knees And Did The Only Thing I Knew How To Do..
Pray.....
Seeee its longer e.e .. A little but w.e
-adultswim here ._. Happy now -.-
