*Published* Accidental Babies (SAMPLE)

Chapter 20

April knew she was being childish. Her mother was vocal enough when they were putting the twins to sleep. Mrs Salvador's squinty eyes brought about that point well enough as well. But, she just couldn't help it. Jason's outburst had hurt.

She tried to tell herself that he didn't mean it, he was stressed about the twins' mother suddenly claiming mental instability, maybe even losing his children. But it didn't create a dent on the bubble of hurt surrounding her heart.

'Oh, don't be soo stupid,'she groused to herself softly while checking on the twins. She smoothen her hand over Tanner's head, enjoying the softness, concerned about the bump on his head. He'd been whimpering in his sleep and it wasn't a good whimper. It's like he was having a nightmare.

She worried. About the implication if he or Daphne was ever in that woman's hands again. Their safety. Their future if Carrie was a permanent fixture in their lives. Something in her chest knotted painfully when she thought of the pain they'd have to endure.

This was the third time she'd been trying to convince herself not to take Jason's words to heart. It was still not working. 'His work is already stressful. With this new development, he's in even more pressure. Your stupid phone call didn't help, either-'

'Your call wasn't stupid,'Jason suddenly said from the doorway. Startled, she whipped her head around and was struck dumb. She didn't know what it was, the lighting or maybe the sweat glistening all over his arms and shoulders. All she knew was that she felt light-headed and her mouth was drier than the Sahara.

Jason had obviously just came back from the gym, he's in his tank top and basketball shorts. And he looked delicious enough to eat. Maybe with whipped cream or chocolate. Wait, definitely chocolate. But he's ticklish. She'd have to tie him up. Her body heated up just thinking about it.

'If you are done mentally stripping me, can we talk?'she heard Jason ask wryly. When his words finally penetrated the fog of sexual heat around her, her face went red but nodded. He moved into the room, keeping her in sight, as if afraid that she was going to run away. Silence engulfed them for a few moment.

'First off, I'd like to apologise for my behavior this evening. It was, and is, embarrassingly extremely juvenile of me,'she said in a rush. His eyes widened in shock but he nodded.

'Apology accepted. But can I ask why?' Discomfort assailed her. She didn't want him to know the whole, pathetic truth of her past but their relationship was still young. It's best to let it all out now rather than later. When she had a more vested interest in it.

'It's mainly due to two reasons. As we both know, I'm not the most attractive person. Ever- No. Let me say this,'she told him when he was about to interrupt. His lips compressed, showing his disagreement, but he didn't cut in. Relief filled her. She really only wanted to say this once. 'Because of that, I've not been in many relationships. Actually I've only been in three relationships. And they were not what one would call a healthy relationship. I knew it wasn't healthy but I stayed.

'Which leads me to the next reason. My whole life, I've been told that I'm worthless, not smart, not pretty. My whole life. Mom isn't like that but she's often out working. So much so that her love and support can't get through the words that was an everyday occurrence to me. My opinion of myself had always been low and only now, with you, the twins, Mom and even Mrs Salvador, it's slowly changing. But, today, I-I just reverted to my old self. I didn't want to give you more reason to get angry with me. That was my mentality. So I created the distance between us. By addressing you formally and acting like a servant,'she finished quietly. She felt drained. It had been soo difficult, airing it all to him. And now, to wait for his reaction. It was nerve-wracking.