Everything is okay now

2: A hot shower

I run to the bathroom, and I see my reflection in the mirror.

I look awful. There's cuts and bruises in every direction. My whole body is covered in dried blood, and there's even blood in my ginger colored hair that I braided for school. I also have a black eye from yesterday.

Looking at myself makes me want to puke, and I do. I sprint to the toilet, and I vomit up all the contents in my stomach.

Then, I fall onto the floor, lightheaded. I feel gross, and my skin is sticky, and I need a shower desperately.

I force myself off of the bathroom floor, and I turn on the shower, waiting for it to get hot.

I feel the water with my hand, and although it's steaming hot, I can barely interpret it from cold water.

I slowly take off my gray t-shirt, that used to be my brother's. It is rather large on me, even though I'm 5'9. I'm still much skinnier and shorter than my older brother was.

After the shirt, I take off my jeans, bra, and underwear. I step into the shower, and I let the hot water run down my body.

While water showers down on me, I start to cry. It's not a pretty cry, like you see in movies, where girls have perfect makeup and perfect hair. It's a cry that is impossible to stop. Like the cry after you lose a loved one, or when you feel like the whole entire world despises your every move.

It's that kind of cry.

Because it's such an ugly cry, I can feel mascara run down my cheeks, more and more, every time I squeeze my eyes together, and I begin to make sobbing noises.

While I scrub my hair with shampoo, I let it all out. I can't bring myself to care about the disgusting snot running out of my small nose, and I can't bring myself to care about the redness of my cheeks.

I can't bring myself to care about the sobbing noises.

I can't bring myself to care about anything.

When my shower is over, and the water has turned cold, I turn it off, and I get a towel from the towel cabinet that is in the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth, dry myself off, and turn off the lights in the bathroom, before running to my room, which is right across.

In my room, I throw on an old pair of pajamas, and I check my phone for the time. It's 11:23 p.m.

The punishment lasted longer than I thought.

I can't deal with this any longer. I won't deal with this any longer. I have to get out of this place.

I will escape.