I Don't Love You

Light With A Sharpened Edge

Day Two

The light is off when I stumble through the door, tripping over my own feet and literally falling into the hotel room. I manage to catch myself before my face meets the carpet, but a giggle escapes me. I bite down on my lip, remembering that Gerard is probably asleep and I should at least attempt to be quiet since it's just past four in the morning. My head is fuzzy, swimming with that high on life feeling. I grin to myself.

Somehow, I get all the way across the room without killing myself or falling again in the darkness and flick on the bedside lamp. I glance back at the other bed, seeing Gerard sound asleep. The light shouldn't bother him. I pull off my shirt and kick off my jeans, leaving the clothes in a pile next to my bed, then crawl under the covers. The blanket feels warm and inviting around me and I fall asleep easily.

I wake up some hours later to a strange sound. I groan and roll over, peering around the brightness to find the source of the noise. Across the room, Gerard is rather loudly scavenging through his suitcase, sighing heavily to himself every few moments. I blink at him and then the alarm clock on the nightstand that flashes 9AM. Great. I got a total five hours of sleep.

"Do you mind?" I grumble. My voice is thick with sleep but I do my best to glare at the man across the room.

Gerard's actions pause and he looks over at me. He makes the weird shrugging gesture, shaking his head. "What?"

"It's nine in the morning," I reply dryly. "Shut the hell up."

Gerard's eyes narrow in return and he looks unamused. "Sorry," He says, sounding far from apologetic. "Did I wake you from your beauty sleep, princess? It's not my fault you didn't finish with your boy toy until four AM."

So he was awake when I came in last night... I roll my eyes, and then remember the night with Zacky. "We used to be best friends," I tell Gerard with a sly smirk. "Two years ago, if one of us has gotten laid we would have been bragging to each other about it. We can still go back to that. Let me put some pants on and then you can braid my hair while I tell you the details."

Slamming his suitcase shut, Gerard turns to fully face me. He crosses his arms stiffly. "I don't want to hear about your cheap fuck," He states. With his jaw set, the bone underneath seems more defiant. Sharp and straight, just like him. "You want to be a queer, I don't care. But keep it in your pants and keep it to yourself."

"Is that what you told Mikey when he came out to you?" Oh shit. I should not have said that. But the words are already out of my mouth and Gerard looks stunned for a split second before recovering quickly and animosity is taking it's place. His hazel eyes look furious as they widen, his mouth falling open.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

I know I should keep my mouth shut-- Bob is right. I should not piss Gerard off. Pissing him off will help absolutely no one-- and this time I remain silent. By now, I'm sitting up on my bed, feeling vulnerable and kind of intimidated cowering under the thin sheets.

"You don't know shit," Gerard spits when I say nothing. His glare increases, his nostrils doing this flaring thing. He looks like a bull. A very attractive, angry bull. "Mikey's not gay. He was confused."

"He didn't look confused last night when he had his tongue down some dude's throat." Fucking hell, I need to stop talking. Gerard takes an angry step closer.

"It's none of your fucking business!" He yells. I know I must have hit something sensitive when I brought his brother into this, but now I just can't seem to drop it. I'm poking the bear and the bear is fucking pissed, but I can't seem to just run away. I want to grab on and twist the bear's fur because I want to see him angrier.