I Don't Love You

Today Is The Greatest Day.

"Admit it, Frank--" Bob nudges me, meeting my gaze with glimmering blue eyes. "You're excited."

I swallow down my nerves, trying my best to calm the stuttering in my chest when my heartbeat accelerates. At this rate, I'm going to have a heart attack before we even board the plane. I offer Bob a measly shrug, not letting him know if he's right or wrong. In all honesty, I am excited; I'm going to Las Vegas with my best friend.

As of yesterday, I am officially graduated-- I'd skipped the actual ceremony, going only to watch Bob walk across and biting down not so gently on my lip when Gerard sauntered across the stage looking like he fucking owned the place. The sight of him made me sick, but I'd clapped for Mikey and wolf whistled for Bob, earning a half hearted glare and a subtle middle finger. Bob wasn't very happy that I'd decided not to walk with him, but I would have felt too out of place. No one was there to see me, my parents hadn't talked to me in months after kicking me out, and standing onstage with a hundred kids who hated me wasn't exactly my idea of fun. Besides, why would I want to waste my money on a gown I would wear once and then shove into the back of a closet for the rest of my life? So I figured I would fuck it-- They could mail me my diploma.

Now, as the large group of us stand around the airport, I can't deny the small amount of excitement I feel swelling inside my gut. Brian had nearly flipped shit when I asked for two weeks off from work, and I knew myself that I would regret that decision after getting my paycheck, but he'd finally agreed when I explained that it was for my senior class trip. It made it even better when I promised that, when I got back, I was available as a full time employee.

"Alright everyone!" The teacher who was chaperoning us on the trip, a middle-aged woman whom I'd never personally had as a teacher-- I think Bob called her Ms. Herman-- waves her arms around. In her hand, she holds a clipboard and pen. "Last check before they call our flight-- I need everybody to pay attention. Does everyone have their boarding passes?" I'm holding my own in my clammy grip, my knuckles white. Bob looks over at me, just to make sure, and I raise it so he can see. I feel like he's babysitting me suddenly, but I don't argue. There's no way I could do this alone.

When a round of yes's echoes through the group, Ms. Herman nods. "Okay, good. You'll need to have those ready for when we board. Now when we arrive, a bus is going to take us straight to the hotel we'll be staying at. I know you're all eighteen, but buddy system is a must, guys!" She looks around, meeting each of our eyes in turn for emphasis. "I don't want anybody lost or left behind on this trip. I have a roster of everyone here, which I'll check again when we land and then once more before we pair off for rooms. After that, you guys are basically free to roam for the next ten days. And I know that it's Vegas, but it's still in America-- Alcohol is still illegal, so are drugs, and so is gambling. If I find out that anyone isn't following those rules, your parents will be contacted and you will be sent home immediately. Understood?" Another round of yes's, and a few grumbled complaints, sound again. "Good. Now this trip is meant to be fun and, for a lot of you, it's your first real taste of freedom. But just be smart about it. Don't get arrested because I'm not bailing you out. Any questions?"

A few people start moving forward, asking about specific hotel details and meal schedules, which the fat load of money we all ponied up is going for, but I turn to Bob, uninterested. He's already grinning down at me. He's basically vibrating with excitement. "Are you excited?" He wonders for the millionth time.

I roll my eyes and let out an uneasy sigh. "I'll be a lot more excited when we land."

"We haven't even taken off," He points out, and I groan. I've never flown, though I know Bob has a few times. He waves a hand at my nerves, dismissing all of my concerns and worries that the plane will crash and we will all die. "Seriously, don't worry. It's five hours. It's a relatively short flight and there are no stops. You can sleep the whole time."