Chapter 39

202 17 2
                                    

"Well this day just a lot more interesting. I have no regrets. Do you?" I prize my attention away from the overjoyed team to look at Natalia. She grins at me. "Why aren't you celebrating?"

"Relief and celebration are separate things," I say.

"Amara was wrong," she says. "About you not being accepted anywhere. This team accepted you, even before they knew you were part Slayer."

"Yes, but-"

"And in time, the wiccans will accept you too. They'll have to."

I bite down on my lip.

"Amara had no children," she continues. "You're the only living manifestor. You can start a new chapter, do better, be the Elder that they need."

"I have no interest in taking her place. I have no interest in using magic ever again."

She stares at me. "Become a full-time Slayer? Really? Being a witch is who you are, Theresa. Even if it's half. It's all you've ever known; you can't just abandon that."

"I think you're eleven murders too late for giving me witch advice," I mutter. "Yes, it's all I've known, but I've lost everything because of witchcraft. With Amara dead, the Slayers can revolt and push them back into seclusion. The world can go back to how it was."

She laughs. "The world will never be how it was. They'll always be a new threat, a new power struggle. An Elder like you will help keep the balance. Even though the Slayers accept you, you can't stay with them. You don't belong there."

"Why do you care?" I demand. "You've always looked after number one; you don't give a damn about any of us."

"Maybe I'm beginning to reconsider that." She smiles lightly and looks ahead. "The dark side of magic is unpredictable and alluring, but it made me forget that I have a coven that needs me. It made me not care, about anything. But you made me see that we can't do it alone, we all need a unit. I just think you're looking in the wrong place."

"If it's redemption you're looking for, you won't find that here."

"What is it you believe I deserve?" she asks.

I sigh. "That's not up to me to decide."

"But it could be. You are the most powerful witch in the world right now, Theresa. You have the Malachi on your side, and you can unite covens that are being torn apart because of fear of the Elders. You can come home."

Through the crowd of happy Slayers, Sam looks at me. There is sudden sadness in his eyes, as though he's thinking about it too. If I leave them, then I fear I'll be suppressing another part of me. I'll be rejected in Arizona, it'll take weeks, maybe months, to fight for my place among the covens again. And I don't want that. I don't want to be around the chaos of this, the grief of Amara's death. Since I accessed my Slayer side and banished my magic, the voices haven't returned. The Elders can't reach me if I don't practise, and the moment I do, Amara might return to haunt me.

But if I don't practise, how do I prepare for what's coming? And if I stay, how do I pretend to be that brave?

A tear rolls down my face and I wipe it away before Natalia notices. I hate this. I hate every part of this. It's tearing me apart and I can't breathe.

"They don't need you anymore," Natalia says. "Let them go."

I watch them as they laugh to each other, as they hit each other playfully, as they examine their injuries and compare. I know that half of them still don't trust me, but that's irrelevant because they all mean something to me. What we all did, together, it will be a moment of history that none of us will ever forget.

The Last Harmon [Complete]Where stories live. Discover now